Does anyone else hate it when people say "everyone's on the spectrum"?

I love this thread.

I normally would be overly verbose and flowery in the scope and nuance of what I write in a post, but Mother's Day is coming up here, and for me, due to what some other family members have done in the past, taking advantage of my verdamt trusting nature and "lying is like nails on a chalkboard" aspect of my nature, I can't.

So, I'll just be a bit Frank Miller, a bit Pinter, a bit "punchy headline for the newspaper page" ~

When people who have never had non-Aspergers people take advantage of them or have-a-go at them for being overtly honest say "we're all on the spectrum, one way or the other", it's like when one of my ex-romantic partners [whom has worked a lot with victims of violent sexual assault] hears someone equate being pinched on the ass, once, over the course of several decades, to what someone in Jamestown went through under the tyranny of Jim Jones.

Or, to put it another way, I had a black stepfather and stepfamily for 10 years, even though I am classified as a Caucasoid invididual (he chose to self-identify as "black", not African American, which is why I am employing "black" in this post).

I was the step-son of a Black Man.  I have Black Experience.  I am NOT black, d--mit, nor can speak about being so.  Which, let's face it, is an accurate, albeit Aspergic, manner of seeing the situation.

I don't believe that when people say "everyone is on the spectrum" they're talking out of ignorance; they're saying they think that autism has become "fashionable".  I've said this before but  there are a number of professionals who don't accept that AS should be on  the scale and this view is shared by many members of the public.

When I first received my diagnosis and shared the information with a few close friends their response - after asking me about some of the problems I have - was "Well, I'm a bit like that" or "A lot of people feel the same way."  They didn't say outright that they thought there was nothing wrong with me but they might as well have.   Only one, whose known me since I was five year's old, said she was not surprised and went on to recall certain behavior that I'd forgotten. 

to say "everyone is on the spectrum" is an immature persons way of not dealing with anything that challenges there world. Logically if everyone was on the spectrum there would be no autistic spectrum existing as it would be the norm then... You see even the logic of her view is unsound.

You have to get used to listening to the uneducated, people speaking of the ego cuff on something they do not understand because they have no experience off, this goes for parents, siblings, professionals etc... YOU HAVE THE INSIDE TRACK ! I would not say to a blind man I know what is like to be blind if I closed my eyes or a deaf person if I put my fingers in my ears. They live with there condition day in day out, as we do with Aspergers, everyone else is ignorant of your truth. So please get used to it.

Many people have some elements of dyslexia, and most people would find themselves in a situation where they appeared at one point to have dyslexia. We never get this fuss over dyslexia (or maybe someone can tell me otherwise).

I do think though that Liv was probably being teased, and being on the spectrum means we cannot always read the signs between serious discourse and teasing.

I accept that the spectrum is a continuum, but its not linear and its multiparameter. So yes you can say everyone has touches of it.  But the progression is different for different characteristics. Some people with quite marked behavioural difficulties are confident socialisers; others who do not show outward signs are very markedly affected socially.  

I think therefore the repost could be great, if you think its a gradual scale - but it isn't. You'd know if you really had it.

So, if everyone has some traits, what's the point of there being people with Autism and NTs? Although I think NT refers to people without ASD and other related issues.

I hate it too, and it is certainly not at all helpful.

It does depend on your view of the spectrum, but if the spectrum is going to include all NTs then another word would be needed for those who really do have a diagnosis!

I am the parent of an ASD son and I do not think of myself as being somewhere on the spectrum. I may have anxieties over some things, I may be shy, I may dread certain social situations and not have huge numbers of friends - but this has nothing to do with the autistic spectrum! I suppose what people mean is that everyone can display behaviours that look similar to those displayed by people on the spectrum but really it is not the same as everyone being somewhere on the spectrum! 

Can you talk to the teacher about your point of view? And explain that autism awareness is important in schools, but if statements like that are made then it will make people think that autism is no big deal because everyone's on the spectrum, and it really does not help others understand about autism. 

Whilst I agree with Hope and Darth it sounded like she was deliberately trying to wind you up, or alternatively, be very patronising.  Having the one or more trait doesn't put you on the spectrum. One never thinks of the right thing to say at the time but if she does it again say to her "I didn't realise you had difficulties with social understanding until now."

Actually, my cousins say this because they do have some traits including avoiding social situations and anxiety and others too but they are not criteria. They don't realise how difficult life can be. It is probably because you are good at hiding it.

If they can't see it - they don't get it.

Yes, I agree.

I really hate these clumsy analogies, but - if you're going to regard autism as a disability - I think it's a bit like going to somebody who's in a wheelchair due to mobility issues:

'Well, nobody's legs are perfect...'

I think it's incredibly condescending, and I think it probably refers mostly to an already out-dated model of autism, before the notion that it could be subtly hidden, camouflaged and so-on... just trying to get across to people that the criteria it's diagnosed by is part of broad range of natural variation anyway.

Hello Liv. No, you are not being out of order at all. As an adult with Aspergers (I am often told it is 'mild', but it is anything but!), I often come across people without Aspergers who come out with this, even people who should know better, such as parents of autistic children. Quite simply, we are not all on the spectrum, and that is why there are rigorous diagnostic criteria. Having Aspergers is not some lifestyle choice label that people can blithely apply to themselves just because they are a bit shy or 'geeky', let alone if they are extremely popular as the girl you mention is. Aspergers is a serious condition, a medical/biological condition in fact, with a clear developmental profile. While it is true that isolated personality traits such as a need for routine do exist in the 'neurotypical' population, this is not the same as being autistic!. People who really are on the spectrum, have a wide range of clinically significant traits (which affect all areas of functioning), the most prominant being the chronic experience of aloneness due to being cut off from other people to a greater or lesser degree. On top of this, we often have disabling obsessive thought processes, rituals, fears and anxieties.

I would feel the same as you, Liv, and agree that it is insensitive to make light of such a life changing condition.