Published on 12, July, 2020
I've realised that people prefer it if I start with pleasantries, not just going straight to the point of what I want to say.
e.g. just now I went to get my recycling bin after it had been emptied. At least I thought it was my bin. I saw my neighbour getting into his car so I called 'is this my bin?' He looked blankly at me and said, 'hello, how are you? Haven't seen you for a while.' I was confused, I needed to know if that bin was mine or his. He was confused because he hadn't seen me for a while and wanted to say hello, not talk about bins.
Then it dawned on me, ta dahhhhhhhhhh! I should have said 'hello how are you?' Before launching into the questions about the bin.
I like to get straight to the point, never mind chit chat. Most humans prefer the chit chat first.
I hope this has been helpful
I am a get to the point type person! Even when I'm texting I have to edit the beginning with a How are you? Because I can just forget. Shame there is no rewind button in the real world. Or maybe a world where everyone just gets us.
I like Former Member option... I'd probably go for that to avoid all chit chat!
You have described me.
As an aside, why not just paint your house number on your bin?
Then there'll be no confusion, and you won't have to speak to your neighbour
A neighbour in lockdown had a book stall outside her house. I went over and knocked on to tell her what I was taking. She said she was getting rid because her cafe had closed. I was just like "oh right ok". When really I shouldve asked more and maybe offered apologies for her situation. To me it was a transaction of information "these are the books I'm takimg"
Im mostly happy with a "hi, alright". But some people take this too far and tell me too much. I think it can work both ways.
Also, with people i only see occasionally, I can only get to know them if they are more forthcoming with me. I don't know how to open things up. I have a friend who, when we went to thr butty shop, said to the guy at the counter "hiya Daniel, how's your mum?" She only knew him and his mum from going in there. I've been going to the same small supermarket for 4 years. I tried building it up once with an assistant I liked but didn't really know what to do. It baffles me how people can be so chatty.
Yeah, it might be helpful to some, but the only worry is that if you ask someone, they might actually tell you! And then you're stuck trying to put on an interested face and ask follow-up questions.
Same here. I never want pleasantries. I want to get straight to the point, get on with business etc.
But if I want to have a harmonious conversation and not get the usual blank stares, mockery and incomprehension, I'm going to have to start with pleasantries. Annoying but I'm so, so tired of being confused by conversations.
Sometimes I don't want pleasantries!
Amazing that I discovered this at the age of 52! What was I doing up until now...
I'm totally with you on that.