Urgh. Anything positive to discuss?

Czesc

indeed

I guess you are polish?

I had an easy day at work. It would seem, that after a month doing a job, that at first felt like backbreaking, my body adjusted, and I am not getting physically tired after first day out of five in a row. After all there is still four to go before day off. I am very happy about it.

The tv show "Lucifer" is often very funny, if that helps. Lucifer retires to LA, meets a policewoman called Chloe Decker who intrigues him and ends up consulting for the LAPD. After that, you won't believe what happens next...

Exactly. No one else will do it for you

Yeah, I feel more sorry for my dad now than anything. He missed out on a great deal of the joy of parenting that I enjoyed when my time came around, simply trying to "fix" me, with the limited tools he had at his disposal. I know he meant well when the anger and frustration was not consuming him. Like a lot of people.. 

I had a dad with a bad collection of coping mechanisms too, poor sod had to live with Autism and even he didn't know. So he went to the pub drank himself numb to feel included and was nasty to people who ever got close to criticising him. 

Having a Dad who both mentors you and ruins you psychologically with PTSD induced by violence iand remorseless and unforgiving criticism isn't much better I suspect. BUt we are still both here, overcoming problems and getting better adapted.

I should just about have got on top of all this by the time I die, I reckon. At least post diagnosis  I know a lot more about which bits of my thinking are more reliable and which are not so trustworthy.

Maybe that's the point of it all?

A lifetime without a Dad to mentor me.

Yes they do.

For anyone out there reading this, a good rule of thumb to follow is that anything electrical that makes HEAT, is likley to draw a LOT of power, and really should be plugged into a ring main, and not a spur or extension lead. There are exceptions like my soldering iron, adn some otehr tools but all your water heaters, room heaters, dryers etc gulp electricity like it is going out oof style. People who like to "grow their own" on an large scale quite often get themselves into "electrical trouble" as well as legal trouble, because those super hot sodium bulbs pull a lot of power... 

MOSTLY a ring main socket will be a double socket on the wall. UNless it''s teh house my daughter bought where the DIY supremo who wired it has the tumble dryer washing machine and dishwasher all running off a single 13 A spur box which actually started to melt as soon as they used everything at once.

I am not a qualified electrician (although I channeled my forst wiring into a wall about 53 years ago) so if these issues affect you, you really ought to seek qualified advice as well as taking on board what I've written.

I learned that there are TWO Catholic Chapels in Coleraine; a Posh one, and a Chav one. (this morning's funeral was at the latter)

I survived a road layout which resembled a dodgem ride.

I still had time to park my car, on the way back, and make a scheduled phonecall.

My friend lent me a Patti Smith LP as a Thank You gesture.

I am trying

if you do not it will never happen

I've tried to live the change I want. It's not made my life any easier, but being as strictly honest and good hearted as I can manage, has generally improved my own life and I have more good friends both human (and a few in the animal kingdom) than would appears to be the average.

The occasional (and to my perspective) unasked for conflicts still appear in my life, of course, but less often and they are shorter and somewhat less damaging to all, than they used to be. 

I think overall I like the animal experiences best. Animals are simpler to understand, and never offer me violence over something I've said or thought.

In fact the ones I've a connection with, are always pleased to see me, and it's a life affirming experience watching our little cat taking on his food, and giving  him the opportunity to practice his hunting and fighting skills in the living room, instead of outside. The love a cat will extend is the strangest thing, not really like human love at all, yet it is seemingly built on the same foundation. Daily repetition and participation in rituals, and mutual support and reliance.. Some say it isn't love at all, it's just a collection of stimulous & responses, I say they are missing out on one of life's greater gifts.

And Christianity. That's been very positive for me. It's given me a goal to work towards, instructions and procedures on how best to go about it, and a cadre of people who will come to my house and help me work towards understanding the more incomprehensible parts, all without taxing me, punishing me, or insisting on "compliance"  as a condition of membership. Although as with everything else there are "costs" incurred for participation, and doing it wrong can be embarrassing or even counter productivebetter than not having it in my life. 

What a good idea!

We have a private senco who makes the D into difference 

We say that every month though. How can things get worse? But they do e.g. the government's lies. If I compare 2021 to 2015 there is a long downward slope.

I suppose in about 10 years it could be better.

I try every day to be self aware. I think in some instances I'm VERY self aware. In others, maybe I haven't got a clue.

LOL mentally balanced! If only!! My partner is very level headed. He is always ready for anything and everything.

nicely sarcastic :)

I like to think that things will get better because it would be very hard for them to get worse, sometimes. Sad, but it can work on occassion.