Masking: What is it?

Its where someone pretends to be neurotypical and not autistic. Not sure how thats possible. I've never been able to pretend myself. Seems like deceit to me and I thought we weren't capable or at least prone to using deceit. With myself what you see is what you get and if you don't like it you can .... you know :) I don't give a shoot what anyone thinks about me I only worry if I have to continuously see people that I don't want to be around. What they actually think about me, it doesn't matter what you think about me, .... if you smell what the rock is cookin' :) 

I do rehearse my interactions, and I do mimic others (which have become conscious acts as an adult), but the impulse to adapt to the environment are unconscious  - an innate survival impulse to avoid bullying and other forms of unwanted negative attention.  

That's exactly why I created a huge extrovert personality - it forces the room to adapt to me so it takes away a layer of social processing.    In a new environment, I will tend to slightly overdress - with the excuse that I've just had to meet some people - so shirt & tie - it is my armour - it puts me at ease and lets my brain function properly.

Mine is not the clown - that's hard work - mine is cool professional - I don't need to say a lot - just do my own thing and the people will come to me.   So much easier.   I just do the things they wish they had the confidence to do.

I worked in an open-plan office full of scruffbags - I was always smart - all the visitors addressed me because they thought I was in charge.    It's not what you do but how you do it. 

That sounds very much like how I used to behave, Plastic. And still do to some extent if I have to meet anyone new, or if I'm anxious in any way. I created this loud, over-the-top, over-confident clown-like character. If I could entertain people, make them laugh, then they would not look any closer. But, it was exhausting and impossible to maintain, and it quickly became burden. I burned out and then had to hide away because I was not able to maintain the persona. I am better now at allowing my authentic self to show up more often than not, but it is still a defensive move that kicks in when I'm anxious or when I'm in a a new situation.

That sounds very much like how I used to behave, Plastic. And still do to some extent if I have to meet anyone new, or if I'm anxious in any way. I created this loud, over-the-top, over-confident clown-like character. If I could entertain people, make them laugh, then they would not look any closer. But, it was exhausting and impossible to maintain, and it quickly became burden. I burned out and then had to hide away because I was not able to maintain the persona. I am better now at allowing my authentic self to show up more often than not, but it is still a defensive move that kicks in when I'm anxious or when I'm in a a new situation.

Mine is not the clown - that's hard work - mine is cool professional - I don't need to say a lot - just do my own thing and the people will come to me.   So much easier.   I just do the things they wish they had the confidence to do.

I worked in an open-plan office full of scruffbags - I was always smart - all the visitors addressed me because they thought I was in charge.    It's not what you do but how you do it.