Published on 12, July, 2020
I got my diagnosis around three months ago and turned 17 last month and that means driving. I've never really wanted to drive and made that clear, but of course everyone still wants me to learn, which I understand.
During my first lesson I really tried to enjoy it, and after I was trying to stay optimistic and say I loved it, but it was so awful. It was so overwhelming, doing so many different things at one time, having to focus on all these different things.
I've had one other lesson, which I dreaded, and was so overwhelmed the whole time, once I got out the car I started having a panic attack.
I can't drive and I don't want to. I know how important it is to be able to drive but not only is it just overwhelming, it's also dangerous to me and other people. If I somehow get my license and get overwhelmed while driving I could crash and really hurt myself or other people.
I've tried talking to my mum about it as well as my granny but they both say I should do it anyway because it's an important skill to have. I don't think they really understand that it's different for me than it is for them
Any advice is really appreciated :)
Wow, I had no idea my difficulties with driving could have anything to do with autism! It's so reassuring to know I'm not the only one
I had a lesson with my dad when I was 17 - controlling the car in a car park was great, but the moment we got on the roads and I saw another car in the distance, I dropped the wheel, let go of the pedals and screamed. I'm a very nervous passenger too, and most people are rather unsympathetic. They can understand a fear of spiders or clowns, but somehow my fear of crashing is incomprehensible. I do want to learn to drive someday, I'm 22 atm, but I think I have a lot of stages to get through first: learning the rules of the road, conquering my fear, becoming a competent cyclist. I think the go-karting idea aidie is a fantastic one.
I have a lot of sympathy with what you said about your mum and nan too. My nan talks about me driving every single time I phone, and bless her she just doesn't understand how or why I struggle with it. I think it's important to remember that although your relatives love you and want the best for you, you're the expert here and no-one should try to force you to do something that makes you feel unsafe. It's perfectly legit to decide that you don't want to learn to drive now or ever, just as much as I believe you are strong enough to tackle this if you choose too.