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Diagnosis awaiting with no support..

NAS62469
over 4 years ago

My son is 7, he is the most beautiful , kindest little boy I know .. we have been waiting for a diagnosis for such a long time and I really need support, maybe advice would help me not feel so alone..

among many things he has a tendency to let situations wether this be social or just general things frustrate him , so I’m new to the whole autism traits thing but he self harms , he will scratch his face till it bleeds and rock back and forth, I’m not really sure why this happens , google isn’t the most reliable source and wondered if anyone had any advice for me to help him stop or try and find alternatives to help him .. it makes me so upset for him because I can’t imagine how it feels to be him , but after it happens he doesn’t really show any thought for the pain it may cause himself.. he has quite a few scars from where he has done it in the past , he does it with fingernails only .. I mean does anyone have any experience in this .. the help we ask for is just school putting him on his own to calm down, which I don’t think makes it better. Hoping someone here can shed some light .. desperate mum !

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    Hi, I imagine that it’s quiet bewildering waiting for a diagnosis for your son and not understanding how to best help him? He will get frustrated, with social situations, it’s very confusing and overwhelming for an Autistic child to not instinctively know how to interact effectively with peers etc. Those other people can sometimes react negatively which further fuels the frustration. I remember myself always trying to talk with the other children at primary school and never understanding why or how I managed to annoy them! As someone else said the rocking and scratching is stimming, he’s using it to self regulate and calm himself down when he’s feeling overwhelmed. Unfortunately, destructive stims are not uncommon in autism, I pulled my own hair out for years from the age of 8, because it was an effective way for me to self sooth. I know though that it can be distressing to see your child engaging in this type of behaviour as my youngest daughter who’s 2 has been hair pulling for over a year now and even though I understand why she does it, I still always try to stop her. I’ve also scratched up my own face before in the middle of a meltdown. I do feel though that it would be helpful, for your own reassurance and peace of mind to speak to someone on the helpline here as they might be able to offer further insight into the reasons for your son’s behaviour and perhaps help you with symptom management strategies to help him.

    www.autism.org.uk/.../contact.aspx

Reply
  • over 4 years ago

    Hi, I imagine that it’s quiet bewildering waiting for a diagnosis for your son and not understanding how to best help him? He will get frustrated, with social situations, it’s very confusing and overwhelming for an Autistic child to not instinctively know how to interact effectively with peers etc. Those other people can sometimes react negatively which further fuels the frustration. I remember myself always trying to talk with the other children at primary school and never understanding why or how I managed to annoy them! As someone else said the rocking and scratching is stimming, he’s using it to self regulate and calm himself down when he’s feeling overwhelmed. Unfortunately, destructive stims are not uncommon in autism, I pulled my own hair out for years from the age of 8, because it was an effective way for me to self sooth. I know though that it can be distressing to see your child engaging in this type of behaviour as my youngest daughter who’s 2 has been hair pulling for over a year now and even though I understand why she does it, I still always try to stop her. I’ve also scratched up my own face before in the middle of a meltdown. I do feel though that it would be helpful, for your own reassurance and peace of mind to speak to someone on the helpline here as they might be able to offer further insight into the reasons for your son’s behaviour and perhaps help you with symptom management strategies to help him.

    www.autism.org.uk/.../contact.aspx

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