A Martian in the Closet

I have just read your blog and found it an interesting read.

Brilliant, Tom! Both that you've found something to bring some focus to your life, and the writing. You capture very well the way that the misconceptions about autism don't just affect the way other people can see us; they prevent us from gaining the insight needed to understand ourselves. There are two other autistic people in my circle of friends, both diagnosed in middle-age like me. Until I announced my diagnosis, we'd in no way have picked each other out as having any particular similarities compared to the non-autistic people in the group. It was a big surprise to learn that I wasn't the only one. Interestingly, they had both worked in social support careers, and like you, neither had made the connection with autistic service users.

I had just the same experience as you with multiple interventions for depression. They made me feel even more alien and misunderstood; how could someone who's job it is to understand brains, not be able to comprehend mine?!

You write very engagingly, and there is only so much that any of us can say in the short form and interactive format of forums like this. I'm looking forward to reading more - consider yourself bookmarked!

:-D

You seem mostly on a veggie diet, like me :-)

i meant recipes for biscuits and the like, although I hardly eat them myself.

I don't think I have ever made dinner according to a recipe, come to think of it.

Recipes?  I don't think I've ever used one.  I tend to eat the same foods a lot - though I eat a mixed diet.  That sounds like a contradiction.  But today, for instance, I had a ready-made salad and added sweetcorn, boiled broccoli, chopped boiled potatoes and smoked salmon off-cuts (cheap in Morrison's) to it.  If I do something like a pasta sauce, it's the same ingredients: tomatoes, onion, garlic, chopped courgette, chopped carrot and a tin of tuna.  For curries: onions, garlic, lentils and a few chopped veg.  I have muesli for breakfast and toast for tea. 

Other times, a dinner will be usually the same vegetables: boiled potatoes, broccoli, carrots and cabbage - usually with some kind of fish fillet.  Nothing ever too complicated or exotic.

I thought that thing with the plates and utensils was sheer laziness...

Since you seem to know much about Asperger's, explain to me why I cannot follow a single recipe and ALWAYS change it (hmmm that ingredient doesn't seem nice, not going to add it; ehm... I am sure that can be done different...). I figured it was the same laziness...

Me too! I cook as much as possible in one pan! When someone else cooks the kitchen ends up looking like a bomb scene. Then I can’t face all the clearing and washing up. Interesting reading, MT. Much I can identify with. For me, that letter of diagnosis is like being given the key to a creaky, half hidden door. It’s also a statement that I’m not stupid, just unique. Most other people just do not think the way I do. They can’t help it!

Oh boy, that is me... And I actually do the dishes while cooking and clean the pans before starting dinner...

Now I wonder why that is connected to autism???

Ha - I do that too - I can cook an entire meal in just a couple of pans and a fork-  it's a challenge. My wife can fill the dishwasher making a coffee.

Thanks!

Actually, I don't think a strong dislike to dirtying things is necessarily a part of it.  More one of my obsessive-compulsive traits.  But yes, I'm the same with dirtying things.  I use the minimum number of things I can when, for instance, preparing a meal.  I'll strain stuff through my fingers rather than use a strainer.  I use one plate, one saucepan, one mug - and I wash them all as soon as I've used them.  My ex used to make huge amounts of mess in the kitchen, then insist on leaving washing up piled in the sink.  'We can do it in the morning,' she'd say.  But I'd then have a sleepless night thinking about it!

Read it and like it. Had no idea that having a strong dislike to dirtying things was part of it as well. I almost prefer not to use stuff so it doesn't get dirty and having to clean it afterwards. :-)

And such an unfortunate encounter with that incompetent psychiatrist...