Let off steam in here thread.

Ah, yes, I had too.

It's been a long time since he last posted, and I miss him too, as I also do Autonomistic.

It's sad when people we become fond of disappear and never reappear, and troubling too as we don't know if it's by choice or whether something has happened to them.

Former Member, for the record it was  Mariusz I had been wondering about. 

Yes, that's a good point, as I tend to do the same thing myself. 

I miss Autonomistic.  She (I believe) left during one of "those" topics that seem to raise a degree of hell in this place.  Sad.  I do hope they reappear one day soon.  Their contributions were always welcome and insightful.

One of our number kindly reported that the O/P was ok.....about a week or so after they left.  No clue beyond that.

Maybe the member is taking a break? Could be they come online to do private messages but not posting, I do that, from time to time. Sometimes posting is too much. 

I saw another member ask after Malojian a few weeks ago and Jamie said he had some stuff to work through but was ok. 

Mini vent. Exam pressure, social pressure, lots to get through, constant aches and pains, hotter weather making it harder for me to function. Not sleeping to well either. Minds always on the go. Lack of understanding with the autism, this community is the only place I feel understand.

Chloe Mod

Maybe mods can check on the members to make sure they are ok. 

Autonomistic? Autonomistic

I've wondered how they are doing (if it's them you are talking about)...

I'm afraid I don't. To be honest, I've been wondering the same about another member that I've not noticed in a while, who had previously been fairly active on here.

Does anyone know if the O/P is O.K?

That is very unfair of them, being a research student is hardly a walk in the park! And if they are working then they can certainly afford to pay their share!

I have fallen out with my flatmates. They always spead out their stuff in the kitchen and bathroom, and leave the kitchen in a very untidy and unhygienic state, and don't take out the bins when it's their turn. Usually I don't confront them because it makes me anxious. But I reminded them of some of those things, and reminded them again to pay their share of the bills, and they took it very badly, saying they feel attacked etc. and implying that I'm lazy because I am a research student compared to them working full time - which I find very offensive and innaccurate. I have been furious with them and very upset and it's not nice sharing with two people who seem to be ganged up against me now.

I'm not sure if I'm angry but I certainly can complain. My brother asked me to do something for him, which is to ask our brother to help him financially. I said "no, he's your brother too. Talk to him, ask for help personally!. Also, it's the polite way to do it!!". Since then, he has been texting me in such a formal distanced manner which isn't normal to us. It feels like a punishment because I said no or he's behaving as if I let him dowm. What he asked to do was very annoying and his reaction to my rejection is very annoying too!!.

Ach another complaint is about my flatmate. They invited one of their friends to stay in our flat for 3 days and didn't even ask me in advance if I'm ok with it!! It was just imposed on me!. I certainly was very annoyed and told them something like "it's not ok! I think it's even a rude thing to do! You can't treat me as if I'm the pet in the flat!". I was very sharp and assertive. It's such a big NO to me. We have been very distanced after that. I tried to sort of make things better by inviting them for tea or a walk or leaving them some food that I made but they still are very distanced and sometimes rude, as walking next to me when I'm carrying something heavy without offering any help. I even apologized for the way I talked to them but it didn't seem to change anything. I hate this situation and I have no idea what's wrong with them.. I'm very upset about having this sort of disagreements with people around me.. 

Thanks Debbie 

X

I'm going to focus on self help and care over my time off and hopefully I'll be more capable next time I go in :) 

Sorry to hear this.

I hope the next period of time off work is better and that once returned, you are feeling more able to cope.

Work can be a very difficult + stressful place to be.

Thank you I Sperg. I will be very good next week and count those seconds, and I hope you are wrong about the hard games. Hopefully itbis justbthe one parent. I've encountered plenty of nastiness at work in different scenarios and  don't rule out the possibility tbat this might be a way to demoralise me or curb my independence so tbat I might be cowed enough to really sing for my supper. However, she may fail to consider the possibility that I could get better-paying private students, or that I might have savings to fall back on, and that I am getting close to retiring, though pensions here are not really enough to live on.

Both petty and also the deal so yeah, you have to give those minutes back with as much good grace as you can muster.

But of greater concern to me is are you dealing with someone who plays hard "games"?

I push a book here (mainly in my profile, now I've been here a couple of years but had very little feedback form people who I've recommended it to) which I read in my twenties, and has served me almost as well as the Bible as a general handbook fro getting along with people. It describes a game of NIGYYSOB where a person will take great pleasure in being petty and vindictive, explains reasons why people act like that and provides where possible antithesis for such games.

It might be useful to you, if you are dealing with someone who "doesn't like the cut of your jib" and is using a real but incredibly trivial failure on your part to express this, in which case you need to find out what they really object to and find a workaround that removes or reframes the perceived issue, or if you are as impatient and uncompromising as myself with other peoples nastiness, (I have enough of my own to deal with!) get them out of your life, as quickly as possible.

I feel for you.

I got a lovely warning from my languqge school, that a new parent has been complaining that I have been shy by some seconds each time of the 60 minutes I am supposed to be online with with their kid. Normally the school  not worry about a few seconds, but....

So now I will have to count those missing seconds amd add them to the next session...

Petty, much?