Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm Adam, I'm 27, and I'm autistic. I've been single for my entire life because women don't seem to be interested in me. I have no idea why, I'm reasonably attractive. My first attempt at getting a girlfriend was a complete disaster because I ended up getting banned from a building and the woman never wants to see me again. This has put me into a vicious cycle of depression and anxiety. I'm scared to even approach a woman now, for fear that history might repeat itself. When I do finally pluck up the courage to ask a woman out, some of them say they have boyfriends, others say they're happy being single, so I can't win.
I currently have a crush on a work colleague but I can't pluck up the courage to say anything to her. Sometimes her body language and facial expressions can be quite off putting. I hope she doesn't think I'm a creep. Sometimes she looks around to see if I'm looking in her direction. We occasionally lock eyes with each other, but one of us ends up looking away. Sometimes it's her that looks away, other times it's me. I'm scared how she will react when I eventually make an approach. I know what I'm going to say, that's not the issue, it's just I don't want her reporting me to the management or anything of that nature. In the past people have reported me to the management when I didn't even do anything wrong. I don't see what's wrong with just asking someone out. They have the option to say yes or no. The management are aware that I'm autistic. I want to get to know her, but I'm constantly scared what the consequences might be if I talk to her.
I'm so upset that I can't get a partner, that I've even thought about self harm. I would never go through with the self harm, but the thoughts are distressing. A lot of women seem to assume that I'm only after one thing, but that's simply not the case, because I'm a gentleman. I wonder if anybody else is experiencing a similar situation to me. I get the impression that certain women don't want to interact with me. If that is the case, I don't know if I've done something wrong or not. They might just be shy.
Hi Adam,
AwesomeAdam said:My first attempt at getting a girlfriend was a complete disaster because I ended up getting banned from a building and the woman never wants to see me again.
You don't need to go into the specifics, but this alone would tend to suggest that your behaviour was inappropriate to the situation. There are a lot of autistic people on here who can help you navigate the strange world of love, sex and physical intimacy, which can be a source of confusion and frustration to so many of us. My experiences are mainly homosexual ones, so I don't fully understand the dynamics of male-female attraction, and therefore will only be able to offer your general dating advice and guidance.
Inappropriate in their opinion, not mine. I didn't do anything wrong, and that's a fact!
But that's the problem with relationships - you're always going to have to deal with other people's moods or interpretations of your actions - and some people are really difficult to read or to understand.
Good song,the EBTG one.