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Ever get imposter Syndrome?

maxlinger60

Yes? No?

When?

I gotta say, I hit a wall. I had a weird (not amazing) conversation with my folks this past summer, where my mother made some comments and threw the "r-word" around and it made me feel exceedingly self-conscious about stimming in public beyond basic fidgeting. Anything more (rocking, tapping, flapping) and I don't even feel comfortable doing it by myself anymore. Self acceptance is great until you don't really know what you're accepting anymore. I never used to stim quite so openly, because I was so hyperactive, it just got all mixed in with the movement, so it never stood out. Now, I'm an adult, sitting in a rolling chair, trying not to rock and it's making me...kinda depressed.

it hits hard when I don't feel comfortable stimming, but also don't feel comfortable slapping labels on myself willy nilly, so I just exist in that uncomfortable state in between allistic and itchy all the time. But every time I think about stimming publicly, I hear that fun "r-word" again, and I feel awful.

How do y'all deal with it?

Parents

  • Happens quite often especially when I’m having a day where I feel that  I’m in sync with my social environment. In a few good days I question whether the social disadvantages are really that great or if I’m just exaggerating.

    All other days I’m sober enough to realise that most of my social skills are greatly underdeveloped and I’ve accepted the idea that attempts to improve would be difficult for me and also perhaps not beneficial in both short term or long term.

    i would love to connect with people and I have very warm feelings for my friends and family although I’m mostly alone I have accepted this somehow.

    Sometimes I’ve felt like an imposter when I encounter people who have autism more profound and challenging.

    At work I’ve often felt like an imposter when I could not explain how and why certain unexpected results were made. Even though countless hours are devoted and colleagues are generous with positive reminders - it still feels difficult to accept results as validation.

    Maybe there is some inferiority complex for not having graduated with formal merits.

    Come to think of it I feel like an imposter all the time beyond personality and work :)  in other areas.

    All the best,

    I just realised that impostor syndrome might be something entirely different but because I have already made the comment I might as well post it.

Reply

  • Happens quite often especially when I’m having a day where I feel that  I’m in sync with my social environment. In a few good days I question whether the social disadvantages are really that great or if I’m just exaggerating.

    All other days I’m sober enough to realise that most of my social skills are greatly underdeveloped and I’ve accepted the idea that attempts to improve would be difficult for me and also perhaps not beneficial in both short term or long term.

    i would love to connect with people and I have very warm feelings for my friends and family although I’m mostly alone I have accepted this somehow.

    Sometimes I’ve felt like an imposter when I encounter people who have autism more profound and challenging.

    At work I’ve often felt like an imposter when I could not explain how and why certain unexpected results were made. Even though countless hours are devoted and colleagues are generous with positive reminders - it still feels difficult to accept results as validation.

    Maybe there is some inferiority complex for not having graduated with formal merits.

    Come to think of it I feel like an imposter all the time beyond personality and work :)  in other areas.

    All the best,

    I just realised that impostor syndrome might be something entirely different but because I have already made the comment I might as well post it.

Children
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