Hi all,
My name is Mark and I've been newly diagnosed with Autism at the age of 39. I was also born with epilepsy and throughout my life my family and I always thought my behaviours were down to that, so autism wasn't in our vocabulary until now.
My mind is currently all over the place about who I really am as I feel lost even though from the outside looking in it looks like I have a normal life. I show no emotion and just stay quiet overthinking all day, which has caused me to become distance from the important people around me. Whenever something upsetting happens I just look like I'm not bothered, however inside I'm crying like everyone else.
I've been masking it for so long I don't know how to live without doing that and I'm petrified that once I become my true self that I'll lose everyone as I'm no longer gonna be the person they think I am. This has now lead to me feeling like the world I currently live in is not made for me and I should just call it a day.
I've been with my Mrs 15 years now and we have a 10 year old daughter. However our relationship has always been up and down as I'm not one for showing affection and expressing happiness, so we've fallen out a few times and questioned our compatibility. I feel like a robot that only does stuff when she asks. Suttle hints and body language doesn't register with me, so I've messed up endless amount of times on when something's wrong.
I'm now looking for advice on how to live with autism and educate family/friends on what they could do to help make life easier for them.
