So just under two months ago, I decided to completely break up with a guy I’d been seeing for 7 months; who actually lives 7 minutes walk away from me.
Over several years, I’d had different profiles on dating apps etc and this guy must have tried to add me around 20 times, and every time I would either immediately block him or talk for approximately 30 minutes and then subsequently decide to block him. The reason being is because of his sinister appearance and behaviour. Every single time he and I would talk, he’d come across as extremely desperate, perseverant and coercive. It would instantly put me off.
Since last February 2024, until February 2025, I had a friend in my life who I’d met on line; well I say “friend” but he labelled it as more of a “situationship.” It was like we were best friends and he and I did many things together over the course of a year, I.e went for zoo visits, concerts, meals out, days out etc. It was very fulfilling and we enjoyed one another’s company, however he started showing signs of having more interest romantically than I did. And after 6.5 months, things became intimate for a short period. Within 2 weeks, I realised that definitely wasn’t the type of relationship I wanted with him.
I then started talking to my now ex, the stalker guy who kept adding me on the dating apps. Only this time, I reluctantly gave in and ended up meeting him in person. There was instant chemistry, but on a very shallow and superficial level; he started love bombing me, being overly attentive, offering acts of service; basically being who I needed him to be. However, this was very short lived or more so intermittent.
During this time, he knew about my male friend, and he pretended to be bothered at first to “test the waters,” telling me he would get jealous over this, but he clearly didn’t actually care either way; it was just a control tactic. However, I didn’t immediately tell my male friend about this person I’d started seeing; out of fear that he’d become jealous and have an issue with it. Well as predicted, when I finally told him, he did have a massive problem with it. In fact, we fell out for around 6 weeks. We finally started talking again for around 2 months and then fell out for good.
I continued seeing this individual from the dating app and he is one of the worst things that ever happened to me. He not only contributed to me losing someone I’d been friends with for a year, but he emotionally abused me in every way, and also made me feel very co-dependent on him. He is extremely narcissistic and toxic as a person, but everything is always someone else’s fault, according to him.!He completely lacks empathy, compassion, boundaries etc. I had enough and ended it with him 7.5 weeks ago; since, there have been a few emails exchanged, but I told him it was over and he then wrote me a letter a few weeks ago; I received it through the post; him saying he wanted to be more than friends with me and making out that he was being somewhat amicable, but then when I emailed him, he just started being nasty and unreasonable. He has continued with this type of attitude and even willing to waste £200 on NIN tickets just to spite me by first saying he’ll be going with me then he won’t, then he will then he won’t; knowing that I’m really isolated. I have asked him to stop all contact with me and delete my contact details, but he just keeps leaving it a week without messaging then sending a message here and there in order to provoke an abrasive or upset reaction from me-he’s absolutely despicable. I’ve had him blocked on WhatsApp for nearly two months and asked him to block me, but he refuses. And I can’t just delete messages from someone like him, incase I need to show the police at some point for example. I’ve archived him, but I’m still having to look at his Fugly picture because he outright refuses to block, knowing it’s causing me physiological distress.
I’ve lost both a friend and what I thought was a boyfriend within the past few months. Why are people so *** up?!