Hi

Hey there   thank you for your message.

I know exactly what you mean about having to 'explain, translate, tone things down'. It's been an issue I've had since as long as I can remember. 

I've always been very blunt and straight to the point. It comes across as me not caring, when in actual fact, I'm a very caring and compassionate person. I feel that I absorb people's emotions and take them on as my own, which is super draining. 

But yeah, on the flip side, I can be very blunt which is so conflicting to my actual sensitive nature. 

My main take on all of this is that I feel that I am at constant conflict within my brain. I'm not sure if that resonates or makes sense? 

• I will make sure you take all of your advice on board and thank you for taking the time to write me such a detailed response  

Not heard of Tin Tins! Might have been before my clubbing years! I went out and about in Brum 2003 onwards. I wish I had experienced the proper rave era in the 90s, I feel like I was born in the wrong era.

Absolutely, and keep at it. As with a lot of things in life ... Understanding is key !!

It was called Tin Tins which was where the old Bullring was. 

Hey Tizzle85, welcome. 

I think you will likely find on this forum: that your words will be heard, your experience will resonate with many others here, and you will become more likely to be able to feel comfortable to say what you mean / experience (rather than having to explain, justify, tone down, or translate things - in the way many of us may find necessary to do so in the real World).  It is still worth remembering though, this is effectively a public space (that is where our Online Community rules are important - in support of our safeguarding).

(Differences of experiences, interests, opinions, or miscommunications; can still arise, as we are each still an individual ...with our varied outlook and lived experience).

I once read somewhere, (I should have bookmarked it, as I cannot recall where it was written), that some Autistic women can report things like: "menopause broke my masking ability".  I guess that is not so surprising; when we consider what a transition point that impact of menopause can be for some women.  It is another biological stage of a woman's life (stigma really should not apply).  Ditto, when we are supporting everyone's wellbeing and mental health.

In some topics, still, there are aspects of understanding Autism which can seem to require further research, communication and advocacy or lobbying.  I believe assessment of the appropriate Autism-friendly adjustments to clinical psychology techniques and environment (continuous improvement should be included in that quest.

I feel that when our Community combines our respective positive efforts, we can be a force for beneficial change accordingly.

I've always been a creature of intuition so I know exactly what you mean by if something resonates! 

Ahhh I can imagine it might be abit challenging in here sometimes and thank you for the heads up

You are welcome.  I respond (as many here do).....when something "resonates."

It is hard to know what that "resonance" with you is, at this point?!

My heartfelt advice is "don't try to rush ANYTHING" at this juncture.  Hang out (hopefully here) with us.  See what people say.......and perhaps try to understand why those things are said.....and see if they mean anything to you.

There are a few G R E A T people here......hence why I choose to remain.....but be warned, it ain't all honey and roses!

Hey there  

Thank you for your message!

Ahhh the days of recreational shenanigans! Weren't they so much fun! I lived in Birmingnam for a couple of years in my 20s and had the best times! Had to come back to my home town though because life was going pretty insane with all the partying!

That's very interesting! What was the name of the club? 

Hi there! Thank you for your message! Only posted this yesterday and already I'm overwhelmed by the connections and feel like I've found somewhere I 'fit in'.

It's encouraging to hear it's predominantly positive vibes! I guess I'll figure out the dynamics as I navigate more throughout the forums. 

I do hope to make some friends. Whilst I know many many people in real life, very few are actual friends that I can really rely on.

Thank you so much for your kind words  

Hey  thank you so much

Chalk Farm, is the new Camden!?

Hello Tizzle / Tara.  Welcome to this place.  I hope you choose to stick around for a while.......it is lovely to see someone here who is trying to be positive.  Rest assured, (in my opinion).....most people here are also trying to spread positivity too.....and hopefully support each other.....y'know....like actual humans who really have no clue WTAF is going on in our own respective lives!

I am reasonably confident that you might even find some chums in this place whilst you feel your way through these next "stages" of exploration.  For me, it took time.........try to ignore the automated noise here.....and see what you can find!

You are most welcome here.

welcome to the community! I hope you find here connections and support

Hi and Welcome Tizzle

Congratulations on starting your journey of self discovery and I wish you well.

I have just turned 50 and after my son was diagnosed age 9 lots of things started to point towards me being very similar to him. 

I too used recreational substances and was part of the scene you describe, it was the glue that held it all together for me to be able to feel part of something. 

Birmingham was where I spent every weekend as a family member of mine was a club owner there. 

Great to meet you and hope you find some answers and support here

Hey   I love your username!

Thank you for your message! 

The analogy of 'joining the dots' is making more and more sense to me everyday since I have pursued this tbh.

I am delving right back into my childhood and having so many 'lightbulb' moments. 

It's quite overwhelming tbh, but I'm going with it, it feels right and I've not felt this focused for a long time! 

Maybe I won't ever get all the answers  life is one big lesson I feel. 

Thank you so much for your kind words  

Hi Tara

I found that a diagnosis helped 'join the dots' and make sense of quite a few things that I knew were 'different' about me.

Being a boy I can't experience post natal depression or peri menopausal, but I know from my knowledge of neuro diversity that there can often be co-existing issues, as well as mis-diagnosis

You probably won't ever find all of the answers, but chin up, and believe in yourself and your worth 

Thank you! Nice to 'meet you'.

Welcome to the forums Tizzle85, seems like a familiar story at least the late realisation/diagnosis piece, not easy to get your head around, that much I do know

Hi Mr. T

Thank you so much for your reply!

I'm hearing more and more about people being formally diagnosed later and later in life. I think I read somewhere recently about a lady diagnosed in her 80s! 

My perception of that is that perhaps alot of them late diagnosed are high functioning, articulate and very intellectual and so have "fallen through the gaps" and just felt like they had to get on with it. That's my personal opinion of how I feel at this point, obviously I don't want to do my usual party piece and be overly blunt and offend anyone in any way.

I've always felt vulnerable tbh. I've had alot of battles with recreational substance abuse alot in my younger years and some very impulsive and dangerous behaviours which caused me alot of distress. 

I'm so sorry your employers have been like that with you, that's so disappointing and makes the whole process even harder to navigate I would imagine! 

And yes, so far everyone has been very kind and I appreciate it so much as I find most people in general hard work If that makes sense?

Hi Tara

Welcome to the 'Latelings' club.

I was in my early fifties when diagnosed. I had suffered for many years with imposter syndrome and low self confidence. I never considered myself as vulnerable but looking back over my life I now can see how and when I was vulnerable.

It is normal for us latelings to feel some grief (for that is what it is) for the life that could've been. It takes time to fully process what being autistic means.

I am too trusting in that by asking for help I have had my 30 odd year career effectively ended by my boss but my union is still dragging their feet over what to do.

We are a non-judgmental bunch on here but there the occasional differences in opinion, which is probably due to our rigid thinking traits.

I wish you a successful outcome and the forum is here for support. Just ask away.