Hello and a question about noise

I got some diy ear plugs. They are two pot need able silicone the you form into your ears and then harden. This is the best protection I have found and they are fitted perfectly for you. 

I've inadvertently got him well trained on how to down a pint of water in a near silent manner.

And your thread has reminded me to send some "feedback" to two shops on the volume of their music which I could still hear really clearly through my earplugs. I don't know why loud music in shops is the norm. If people want to listen to music, everyone has earphones these days. 

It's caused a few "to do's" with us too, until I read an autism book that was explaining it...then I understood. So now I just try to go to my "happy place" and enjoy his company.

I didn't know this was a "thing" until very recently. It got worse when I was in burnout. We laugh about it now as I understand what's going on and casually turn the radio up if he's eating or drinking too loudly. But in the past it has been the cause of a few "to-do's". We have to meet each other half way.

Thank you all so much for your comments and ideas. I tried the music in my headphones last night when Mr Chainsaw got going and it worked. 

Gardengirl said:

I thought of all the sounds I'd miss like the birds, wind through the trees, sea crashing onto the beach or a beautiful piece of music that moves me. 

You are right I would miss all of those sounds too.

My 'happy place' is a small piece of woodland far away from any houses or roads. The only sounds are the birds, the wind rustling in the trees and the occasional sheep bleating. If things are difficult and I can't get there I try to picture it in my mind and it does help.

GY!BE is some depressing kind of therapy! I love the first 3ish albums, but man that's bleak. Especially F#

The Loud music, I enjoy, is Shoegaze or Post-Rock.

Godspeed You! Black Emperor is my definition of self-therapy. But their new stuff is boring. 

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and I'm sorry you have such a hard time coping. I only said yesterday that I wished I was deaf, but then I thought of all the sounds I'd miss like the birds, wind through the trees, sea crashing onto the beach or a beautiful piece of music that moves me. 

I too have had meltdowns and screamed at people I don't know...I get scared that one day I will hurt someone 

I am going to try music through my headphones when I go out.

Oh lord, I thought it was me being horrible but I hate the sound of my husband chewing..it drives me crazy...I want to leave the room!!

I believe this is known as Misophonia. I only learned this a few years ago but have suffered it all my life. The sound of a person chewing repulses me, to the point I could cry in frustration and betching to slap the food away from them. Anything loud bothers me. I find the tiny ear defenders you can buy on Amazon like Loop or Flare help a lot as it "zones out" the sound somewhat Believe me this is not your fault. I spent years being told I was awkward or difficult

Yes I seriously thinking this could be the biggest thing to help. Playing light, background music through the headphones when I go out, before the anxiety starts.

Welcome to the community.

Noise is the bane of my life. I've always been sensitive to noise but like you my tolerance is getting lower as I age. I'm the same age as you and it's got to the point where I would gladly give up my hearing rather than continue like this. It's not just hearing though. I can feel the vibrations from noise, especially those awful back firing cars you mention. 

How I cope? Well I don't really. It's an ongoing battle and I increasingly retreat and avoid where I can. Summer days and bank holiday weekends are the worst. More people are outside with their dogs, children, power and garden tools etc. I end up retreating inside with the doors and windows closed and my noise cancelling headphones on. It's a shame but certain noises trigger explosive meltdowns for me and prevention is better than cure.

I've tried all kinds of ear plugs and ear defenders over the years. I find that noise cancelling headphones work best but only with certain types of noise. They will block out a lawnmower but seem to have very little effect on the noise of a dog yapping. Also they are hard to tolerate once in the overwhelmed and fight / flight response stage. They just amplify internal bodily sounds which adds to the sensory overwhelm.

I understand how challenging it can be and how upset it can make you feel. If you have other things going on that can lower your tolerance to noise. The key is staying as calm as you can be in the circumstances. Try and distance or distract yourself from the noise at the earliest possible opportunity. Do not wait until you get to the point of being overwhelmed.

I love my garden and try my hardest to absorb myself in it. My husband has also started talking to me about garden plans to take my mind off the noise it helps to a certain degree if there is only a few noises, but once all the neighbours around us get out mowing etc it becomes harder not to run.

Couldn't agree more..the thought of going out anywhere fills me with horror and panic. I dread my husband suggesting a day out or trip to shops/garden centre.

Becoming fixated on the irritating noise reinforces its effect, it's a vicious cycle. The most useful method of breaking the cycle is to become engrossed in something that takes up most or all of your attention.

I agree with Caelus, it's impossible.  Having been working from home since the start of the lockdown pandemic, I find that my ability to cope now is almost zero, days in the office fill me with dread.

How are you with very minimalist music in those situations? Like drowning it out with something loud is an option, but with noise cancelling on I find even relatively quiet ambient music or just sounds can kinda fill up enough of the frequencies or whatever to push the outside noise more into the background and make it manageable.

Can definitely see how noise can be used as a weapon. Guess I'm going to have to find some way of coping but it is just so hard

I should probably use music through my headphones, but when I start to get overwhelmed by all the noise I can't tolerate any noise. So I guess the lesson should be put the music on sooner.