Diagnosed at 46!

BMF said:

is relentless with her talking, unsolicited advice, personal remarks and the like.

sounds like my mom, and despite asking her to stop it she didn't, than I used blackmail, it didn't make me proud, that I'll stop visiting her if she won't stop before end of my holiday, before I go back home, she didn't, and so I cut contact, it's just her behaviour only was enough to make depressed  again.

good luck surviving that

put a sticker on a closet where you can hide ''entry to autorised peronel only''

I so identify with that. The phrase "if they aren't making noise then they aren't happy". I have concluded that for many people this is the only way to prove to themselves that they are still alive. Which probably seems a bit harsh but actually what is wrong with a sociable silence? This is why I am so fond of my cat. He is not affectionate, but he will relax nearby and never make a sound. You say it takes ages to recover from a large dose of NT people. Me too. What do you find helps with this?

Hello there. I'm 60, male, not formally diagnosed but will pursue it after dithering far too long (and one disappointment where GP got in the way). In my opinion if you can manage two hours talking to and being with NT people you are doing very well... but it does use up a lot of spoons (energy/mental resources).

For quite a few years I worked in the Maths dept of a university so there were quite a few non-typicals to interact with, but plenty of normies too. They all spoke in their private code and then acted offended if I asked what they meant. I found that some self-disclosure helped and I had a couple of simple 'reasonable adjustments' made. One was a blind for the glass panel in the office door so that every single person traipsing to the toilet or the kettle didn't distract me. On noisy days I used earplugs to cut some of it out.

'They' don't mean any harm, most of them, but in larger doses are very draining.

Have a good day. D

Diagnosed at 44, after being misdiagnosed with EUPD. I was lucky to get my assessment within months of my referral as the NHS were outsourcing assessments.

Welcome to the forum, we’re all friends here.

I was diagnosed two weeks ago at the age of 48 and since then my evenings have been taken up with information, information and more information.  The word ‘resonance’ has been ringing in my mind and, having read the comments here, more very relatable examples of what we have all experienced in our lives. 

I concur with the idea that autism is simply a condition that only seemed to be applied to those who would be described as low-functioning (Rain Man, etc.), and still is largely among NTs. 

As for your partner feeling there’s little to gain from a diagnosis, well it’s his decision and many people are happy to continue in life without the ‘diagnosed’, ‘disorder’ or ‘divergent’ label.  I know I would be.  But if he is settled in life with you for this length of time, can work around social issues and feels good within himself, I can fully understand that. 

Hi Dogtooth. I beg to differ on “I am not the expert”, it is your mind on which you are the expert. The psychiatrists who diagnose us and prescribe psychotropic drugs have (mostly) never experienced serious mental illness or the the meds they insist we take. I speak from personal experience. To be clear I’m being entire supportive of you here. I don’t always explain things well xxx

Hi yes it was on the NHS but contracted out to a private practice otherwise I would have been waiting a long time. I waited over two years to see a clinical psychologist I was under the care of a community mental health during that time and was the psychiatrist that asked my drs surgery to make an application for funding for autism and it just happened super quick.

Hi, I'm doing grand thanks! 6 months is very quick and I thought mine was speedy being a year. Was yours on the N HS?

I used to know a woman with bipolar, she was a friend but she dropped me after I wasn't able to do typical NT stuff. Her manic episodes were something else and she's always get sectioned for a month. She made some very rash decsions.

Hope you get the manic episodes sorted, especially if they aren't enjoyable.

Yes, I think I'll let rip with one of my special interests. I'm big into prepping and that makes a lot of folk uncomfortable haha.

Just smile and wave!

My limit is about 2 minutes these days 

Hi How are you doing? just wanted to say hi and yes I would rather stick pins in my eyes than trying to communicate sometimes it can be very tricky navigating communication invariably at some point I will drop a clanger or miss some kind of social que. I was very lucky as it only took 6 months all in all to get a diagnosis I do feel very lucky as I know a lot of people are struggling. Anyway hope your are having a super day. 

Grand gestures of generosity i think someone described it to me as. 

B O O M  goes the resonance cannon ! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM !!!!

Hey,

No shame in looking after yourself and stepping out of the rat race for a bit. No shame at all. 

Yeah i have manic episodes. Its exhausting and often quite unpleasant. Racing brain. Cant focus. Getting through a task is difficult when im like that. I also make rash decisions when im like that too. Grand gestures of generosity i think someone described it to me as. 

Yeah my boss is cool. She used to be my assistant, but when the old boss retired i didnt want to step up. I know my limits, so i put her forward and she leap frogged me. Now i work for her. She is one of my best friends so it couldnt have worked out better really. 

I dont know much about schizophrenia. Paranoia can be quite debilitating in itself though. 

Thanks. It will be good to talk to fellow ND people.

Your boss sounds awesome. I'm ashamed to say I'm not working at the moment. I had severe burnout with my last position and the schizophrenia makes me quite paranoid.

Have you had manic episodes? They thought I was bipolar at first, but then my diagnosis was changed because I never had a manic episode.

Yes, It is a slow punishment, I start getting comments of, “ you’re very quiet,” it’s because I’m near a non verbal shutdown and need to recharge. When I want to play with them, I will talk about one of my special interests non stop, it’s like spraying Holly water on vampires, they seem to disperse to another room to talk about how busy the M25 was earlier.

I like to tell her she is the lucky one working with me lol 

She is awesome and isnt a bully. We have a LOT of banter. She has ADHD and sees the same shrink as me lol)

Wow - you lucky fella!