Hello

EEE by gum lad, hast thou got tha brass 't' burn?

www.ebay.co.uk/.../385002941113

Hello and wellcome. I too love solitude and enjoy being out on the moors either cycling or litter picking and being alone with my thoughts. I did visit a cafe today as I do like the odd contact and to people watch. I would be happy to be a friend should you wish to chat.     

Just looked up 'Games that people play' £7 on amazon, I can afford that.

For some reason I forgot to go into more detail with regards to my cat. I've grown up with cats, had about 6 or 7 since I was a child, the one have now is 15 and he does love me, but due to my very strict budget (universal credit £324 per month) I can't afford to take care of him as well as I'd like.

Thanks for the tip about using a library for information gathering, I was there today to use the printer and it never once occurred to me to look at books. Ahh, the joys of hyper-focused attention.

If you manage to 'break' your cat, (after all it's not a robot, cat has feelings) there is a solution:

watch all episodes of Jackson Galaxy My cat from Hell hoping you find a solution to undo it, (make amends)

"Games people play" is practically free on ebay, and someone a month back posted a link where they had found it F.O.C.

I don't DO expensive or ineffective solutions..

And your cat experience sounds a little incomplete (O.K. massively incomplete) it takes a while, (more than six months with this one so far) but once your cat sees you as a close companion rather than an "owner", you DO get comfort when you are own, and other true emotional reactions. The biggest problems a lot of humans have with their pets is thinking of them as "furry robots" with no sense of self, or community. I've found it hard to believe just how "emotionally intelligent" cats can be. The cat who really made an effort to get me up to speed had seven "services" he liked me to perform and worked out ways of telling me or my partner which one he wanted. (I am not alone in my madness, she started out not wanting a cat, or seeing them as having much companion potential..) Again, there is a lot of information out there in books etc.

My mate who just discovered his Aspergers in his seventies, was really f***ed up emotionally economically etc, which drove him to use his public library for information gathering. He seems to have a nice casual surface relationship with his librarian, who suggests books for him very sucessfully. .

`

Huh! now why didn't I think of that. That's a great idea, thanks Mariusz. It would give me a reason to do the housework too.

I'd say its both, some times I daydream about the person I wish I could be, other times I'm thinking about things I would like to make if I could get out of my head for long enough to work on them. Other times I day dream about things that are missing from my life (love, confidence, social life, sex, etc... I also do this for 6+ hours a day, so I think that maybe it is my special interest. Its also triggered by my senses, I have fantasies/day dreams attached to various songs, or a social interaction usually leads to me re running the interaction in my head contemplating what I could/would/should have said/done and what the outcome would be if I had.

I make ''come dine with me'' for friends once a month

Thanks for the book recommendation, I'll check it out when I can afford it. I already have a pet cat. What I miss about having someone around the house is the randomness that another person introduces (their taste in music, tv shows, hobbies, food, etc), and the opportunity for some occasional human contact, as much as I love my cat, he's not exactly a great listener nor can he hug me. Being alone long term means that life can feel like groundhog day sometimes.

are you saying your Special Interest is Daydreaming?

Mine is Thinking, it's very close

Basically I was tired of having to be around people and I've always been happier daydreaming. So I quit my job to be around people less and have more time to daydream about stuff I'd like to accomplish with my life.

Hello. Welcome.

I recently started living on my own, I love it. The peace and quiet is wonderful. 

It would be if you quit the job to get better, because you felt so completely depleted with everyday reality you were no longer able to make yourself to go to work

'time to myself' is it your way of concealing that? there is no need to do that on this forum, everyone here went through some trauma probably (I did), and will understand, plus everyone has to be here undercover/incognito :P website rules

and if you want to learn about what it means to be autistic it helps to be as clear about everything about the subject of conversation as possible, otherwise you might get zero comments, if people decide they are unable to desipher it, we are not very good at innuendo

I had exactly those thoughts, but a bit younger than you. In my case after casting about for a useful body of knowledge to get me exactly what you express a need for. Companionship and love.

I was undiagnosed of course, so everything was shrouded in mystery, at least until I discovered "transactional analysis".

Essentially the ideas are that everyone has three basic perspectives on life.  A childlike one, and adult self actualised one, and the one imprinted on you by your parents.These perspectives radically affect how you process situations and events, and you can consciously shift from one to another more helpful and appropriate ego state, once you understand how it works. 

But the really neat thing I found in his seminal book, was how he had deconstructed many basic human lifestyles and ways of being and interacting. I was able to see how previously incomprehensible things like small talk  worked, and why there were limits to it, etc.

I also learned how people expected me to express and conduct myself in matters of love and other human interactions, and it gave me something to do for about 3 years until people started falling in love with ME for a change... And THAT brings it's own problems..

Don't get me wrong, of course you could use that knowledge to become what I believe is called a "player", and just go for the relationship, but I wanted to make myself a genuinely nicer person, and that has proven to be a job that really took more years than I care to count, before I even became "acceptable".

Being a nice, positive, and useful person is way harder for me than being a miserable twat, I quickly found out. Still at least I am Autistic, I can face unpleasant truths about myself, and my life. That's half way to fixing it already...

And if you have not got one already, an animal companion, AKA "pet" is a much more gentle introduction to responsibility and interactions occurring at a pace you do not control. A big challenge for us with relationships, of course. as is well known.

I do hope there's some stuff here that's helpful to you. 

Maybe, I'm not really familiar with the terminology but I guess me quitting my job so I'd have more time to myself could be described as burnout.

biggest plus is no need to mask

are you aware that constant masking eventually leads to autistic burnout?

It's nice being alone, no distractions, but human contact is nice too. Thanks for the welcome.

Welcome

I enjoy newly discovered solitude too, I live alone for almost 3 years now