Hello, Please some help if you can.

Hi all,

I am new to the forum and have joined to try and get some advice if possible.

I have a relative, and there are a number of things I am 'concerned' about. I am using that term lightly because some could be just generally due to age but some others I am not convinced of. The child in question is 3, and will very shortly be 4.

* poor eye contact
* in photos looks distant and never really 'looking' at camera
* prefers to play alone
* doesn't like to share/will snatch/will take a toy when not even wanting it just so other child can't have
* Speech isn't very clear, quite monotone, can't always understand what is being said
* Very poor eater, only like's certain foods but even when has 'favourite/particular foods' doesn't eat very well
* won't eat outside of comfort zone, i.e. certain cutlery
* won't say hello, goodbye, wave even to relatives only seems mostly comfortable with parents.

* used to be 'obsessed' with a particular dvd, it wasn't one relevant to age etc but had to watch from beginning to end with all the credits

* Appears to come across as unable to hear/selective hearing when you know can hear you.

The child I am referring to has been in a couple of fights with another family member (same age) and a child at school, and at a party on different occassions. The playgroup also commented to say that the child prefers playing on there own and walks away if others comes over. This child is slightly more sociable now, but can tell prefers own space and often comes out with unusual comments, like 'your getting on my nerves now' to other children.

They have a very strict routine, and come across very shy, my personal opinion is that this is not just shyness but I am no expert.

The reason I want advice is mainly as above but its hard to define if there is a problem because a lot of children don't always share well, are fussy eaters, and are shy, say things that they shouldn't at times.

It concerns me more because these things seem a little more extreme than the norm? Also for example going out to a restaurant, they have to take there own cutlery to eat with?

This child is very scared/dislikes loud noises such as hoover, hairdryer, if the TV is too loud and will put hands over ears. Really good at puzzles probably for more a 5 or 6 year old than 3 or 4 year old.

I just want to hear what others think on whether this is anything to be concerned by, or not. I don't want to start saying things I shouldn't, but I wouldn't be a good relative if I didn't seek advice on something that concerns me.

Thanks in advance.