Think I might have been dealing with autism/Asperger's unaware this whole time.

Thanks for your wishes. I will try to remember since I intend to stay a part of this community here :)

It is like a form of apprenticeship.

I loved the look of York - I think I would have enjoyed it there.

Nerves are completely normal - you'll be fine. Good luck :) Hope it goes really well. I'm sure you're settle in just fine. Let us know how you get on :)

Sounds similiar to apprenticeship doing it that way.

I heard that York university is very good, I know someone who graduated their with a psychology degree.

Much appreciated. I didn't think I was nervous until now. I'm travelling at least five hours tomorrow from a nice, quite village where I have lived for two years to a city where everything is going to change. Wish me luck of not getting a heart attack :P

I ended up doing my degree online (I got onto a degree programme where you work and study at the same time). However, I did look around several universities and was set on going to York until the job came up. Part of the attraction was their social groups. There are often all kinds of clubs at universities - you should be able to find details for student services on their website, who can then let you know about the clubs available at the uni. 

My experience of studying online wasn't quite the same as traditional uni, but I have family and friends who went to uni and absolutely loved it (even those who were nervous about moving away).

You may be interested in this paper:

The Experiences of Late-diagnosed Women with Autism Spectrum Conditions: An Investigation of the Female Autism Phenotype.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27457364

Hi, you sound similiar to my friend/housemate after looking through the first 7-8 lines. She is 26 and I have wondered the past few days if she may in fact be autistic rather than have bi polar disorder. Women are commonly misdiagnosed with BPD when they have autism instead. Autistic women are usually much better at socialising than austic men which is a key reason. Anyway she has snapped at me at least 5 times this year for seemingly nothing and has a lot of trouble at work, she is basically saying to me nobody understands her. Another thing is she is promiscuous like you were.

I totally get your trouble with the 'coffee time' moments. For me it is too much to process. I can handle two other people, but anything more gets too much and I feel too overwhelmed to come up with a well thought out sentence. I feel there are times when people try to outdo each other in conversation, particularly in a work environment with all the hierachies. In these times I definitely just sit back and let them haha.

Being ignored is the worst. You're most likely not want to get involved with things in the future and add to the discussion. I've had my fair share off this in the past, being interrupted especially which makes it a surprise when someone doesn't interrupt.

Congratulations on your agree, even though it isn't what you choose to do in hindsight. I cannot be totally sure if university wil be right for me but if I have just about everything else so it's worth a shot. If it doesn't work out I will come up with another plan. I'm sure you will come up with a good one. Just takes a bit of tenacity and brushing off the setbacks.

At least you have one friend who you have met in real life and online friends. I wonder what you play, I delve into PS4 online sometimes, but tend to stick to single player games. I imagine I won't get too much time at university as I have for the last two months.

I am really excited about university, I know I'm going to be way outside of my comfort zone but I may as well give it my best shot. It's encourgaging to know that you graduated and believe you may also be on the spectrum.

I recently got some advice out of someone who graduated 30 or so years ago. He says treat it like a job, don't miss any lectures. The weekend is a weekend and that's it. Really appreciate your insight into it, I dread to think how overwhelming by skipping classes and having a lot of work to do last minute. I have honestly been there a few times and trust that I have learned from my mistakes. One person I vibe with would more than do me. I am certainly going to get myself out there as much as I feel is enough :)

Hi Scott and thanks for welcoming me.

I can relate to your experience at high school. While I was at college I didn't have anyone I would call a friend, although they were people I would occasionally spend time with, I was certainly a loner which I have become accustomed to. A lot of the time I college I would find somewhere quiet off campus, going to the library or the computer room. If I had the choice at work I would find somewhere quiet and spend it alone most of the time. A break is a break to me. Yet, I have had oppostion for wanting to be alone on my breaks. If someone wants to talk to me on breaks. I would always welcome that, but if I feel it isn't going anywhere then I would find somewhere for some alone time.

Sorry about that, this workplace harrasment is off the charts these days. It's not fair and I've had a similiar experience to yourself. You know people are gossiping and making your life hard for no reason whatsoever. Well in their eyes being quiet or socially inept in some areas is murder.

Funny you say that. I cannot be bothered with social gatherings unless I am comfortable with everyone who is going, then I don't mind. I can go to a cinema or a restaurant with family or someone I am comfortable with and enjoy my time. I just won't enjoy getting on a train or walking there or any of the other little things involved.

Johnnie Darko

Hello and welcome! I have also recently come onto the forum, having been diagnosed with Level 2 ASD. Please do feel free to ask any questions and read my profile. I'm sure that everyone on here will give their best advice.

I am a bit of a loner myself. I have no friends or social life to speak of. When I was in high school, I shied away. Mainly because I found a lot of the people there overbearing, boorish and loudmouthed. Because I am very quiet and because I am big, this made me a target for bullying. However I found solace in being allowed in the library to read or do homework. Also, in my last workplace, something was going on behind the scenes, in order to make my time during my brief contract as miserable as possible.

Currently, pretty much the only contact that I have with people other than my family, is on this forum. More than two pints in my local pub is a walk on the wild side for me!

Hi NAS63880. I'm jumping in on this thread.

I'm 28, female, and suspect I'm on the spectrum, I was diagnosed with unstable personality disorder and depression recently and I'm discussing ASD with my therapist now (see my own post titled "Borderline and/or Asperger" for more on that).

I went to university to study economics and journalism. At the start I was excited to be there, and I took part in a lot of the activities. I don't know what the culture is like where you live, but the activities included tons of drinking. This was good for me because I always thought alcohol helped me be social. I mainly socialised with men, because I felt out of place and nervous with other women. At times I was promiscuous, at times I regretted that.

I joined a photography club where we would show our work to each other (which was huge for me) and have professional photographers come talk to us. I enjoyed that, but I had major problems with the "coffee time". When we were supposed to mingle (sober!). I would go to the bath room, freak out, and then freak out over if people thought I was pooping. If I tried to approach someone or sometimes even just slide into a little group and listen and maybe say something, I had a lump in my throat and was so nervous I got dizzy. I went there maybe 5 times.

Before finishing my economics studies I moved to another city to study media. It was a small programme, we were only 7. There I was ostracised. I was the only girl on the class, which I thought was good news. I don't know why, but the guy who took the lead the most, he had something against me. He would literally ignore that I said something.

We had to do these awful theatre kind of warm-up games and exercises when we first started. I was so pissed off. I hated it, I always hated any kind of pretend or improvisation theatre. On top of it all, FOR SOME REASON, I was asked to play out a scene with one of the guys - a scene of a man and wife fighting, and the guy screams at me "I DON'T WANNA DO THIS BUT YOU'RE MAKING ME" and acts as if he was gonna hit me. Well. I have been told this exact thing IRL. I felt like my whole body became the lump in my throat and said "I can't do this", went into a strange state. I honestly don't know if the guys understood what happened, because they had already noticed I hated acting, but I think the teacher did. She moved on quickly.

I was very unhappy and insecure while living there. I drank a lot and smoked weed by myself. Not counting the grief I felt when my grandmother passed away, this was the most depressed I had ever been. I found a new scale for depression: being so depressed you can't get up from your chair and walk to the bathroom without falling down crying on the way there.

I only really made one friend that I still have, and that was towards the end. We studied together and honestly I would not have passed the last course if he had not been there to meet me before class, and do homework together, and study for tests. I was a complete mess at the end of my studies, partially because I had no idea what I would do if I finished. I still don't.

My biggest problem now is that I'm not sure I studied the right thing, and in a way I'd wanna get several more degrees. I love learning and I like the straight-forwardness of getting assignments or chapters to learn, and then being scored, and also comparing myself to others or the class average.

What helped me a lot during this time was however that I had online friends. I play a competitive online game, and have made friends through that. I do not have a big social appetite, but I do have a deep need to share what I think is important, and to feel like I have someone to open up to.

I think joining a sports team is a great idea. Isolating yourself may appear alluring but is not healthy. And socialising while doing an activity makes it easier for a lot of people.

All in all I was quite successful at university and got pretty good grades. I would recommend that you don't start skipping class, you don't know how much you can miss and then it can quickly become overwhelming. Try to have a schedule and stick to it, for example going to the library for an hour after classes every day or every other day, if you think you might slack at home. And if you don't fit in with most people - so what really? But try through common interests or similar "vibe" to find someone. Or escape online. :) Online is also real life.

Hi Helena, I'm aware that autism and other brain disorders don't affect intelligence, it is just the way our brain processes things and the way we learn. This is why I was disappointed with the the way the GP responsed. At the time I believed that a GP would have a very good understanding about autism, let alone a basic understanding.

Interesting about where the name Aspegers originates from. I will have to get with the times.

Thanks very much for your informative response and support :D

Hi, I am going to being studying on-campus. I am planning on joining a sports team or two. Are there specfic social clubs? I haven't heard or saw anything about these.

It sounds as though you may have been to unversity before. If so, how was your experience?

1. Hello but I don't know if you are aware but some people who have conditions such as Dyslexia, and Autism Spectrum disorders, some of them were very clever indeed, A few of the great composers of Music had Dyslexia, and probably Autism Spectrum,  I read of a school Teacher and a GP that were on the Spectrum, and one time I even had a Social Worker who on her first visit to my flat said Helens, did you know I have Dyslexia. It is very important to be assessed correctly, I know this from  experience I was assessed the first time by the wrong person which caused me a lot of upset and stress afterwards  the only person who is qualified to Assess people for Dyslexia as far as I know is an Educational psychologist. I was given the details of Dyslexia Scotland,, who were Brilliant and got me a wonderful Educational Psychologist she was so kind she waved good bye to £300 or £400 Pounds when she had finished her assessment she said that  I did have Dyslexia, and she was not a happy Bunny how the other person had done her Assessment on me. As for the Autism Spectrum, Assessment, I had mine done by a lovely lady from Speech and Language 10 years Years ago back then then the diagnoses I was given was Aspergers Syndrome. But recently it has come about regarding some awful things Dr Hans Asperger the Austrian Pediatric  Dr, that the condition was named after had been party to during World War 2 that they are now  stopping using that term an saying Autism Spectrum disorder instead. I do hope that you are able to get the correct diagnoses and we will all support you here on the Forum. Helena

Hi - welcome to the group. I'm 25 and awaiting diagnosis.

Are you going to study at the university (on-campus), or are you doing the degree online? If you're attending the university itself, there might be some social clubs you could get involved with. It might help to find people with similar interests.

Thanks for the kind comment Aidie. I dread to think where I would be now without being persistent. I definitely have some interest in the Reserves. Training was one of the best times of my life.

I love your persistence - a very good quality ---- Try and get to university I think you will do well there. Many aspies there. You were in the army as well so well done there not every can survive in the army.  Have you looked at your local TA branch. The TA is bit more relaxed. I recommend the royal logistics corps (RLC)  and the Pay Corps if u like numbers.

Thanks for your response. I am going to register with a new GP soon as I'm moving across the country again. Hopefully, this will go in my favour. That is a great idea about writing about the difficulties I have faced over the years. I am prone to forgetting certain things I would have wanted to say. I fully intend to do that and will do this today.

That is great to know. I will be at university in no more than a week and will look into this.

It hasn't held you back which is brilliant. Rejection is pretty painful and apparently triggers the same responses in the body as physical pain. I guess it's not the best to adopt a pessimistic attitude. 

That sounds a lot like me. It's just that I'm never been very good with small talk and I don't gossip at all.

Thanks very much for your reply, it's going to be very helpful. I did a autism test approximately a year ago and believe I the feedback was that I had a high likelihood of having Asperger's. I guess when I try it again I will get similar/the same results. Thanks again Graham!!

Making friends is never easy.

It's more like finding people accidently that tolerate me and I can tolerate their company.