Published on 12, July, 2020
This has taken me 4 years.I have had concerns about my son for that long,but up until now I am still not sure if I am over reacting. My son is 12 now and he started displaying strange behaviour at age 8. It was mainly getting attached to certain words and noises and repeating them.However,he seemed to be doing it because he thought they were funny. Almost like a private joke. At this time he also started having noticeable problems managing emotions. Having extreme tantrum,crying and throwing things.These would sometimes be about not getting his own way,but would mostly be if things didn't go to his/our plan. We started having issues with his bedtime also, where he would be super silly before bed being attention seeking and procrastinate to the point we would have to shout. At this time he had some trouble with friendships. 4 years on and we have worked hard on managing his emotions and we have less issues with this side of things,bedtime is sorted and everything is definitely more settled. It is the noises and word obsessions that have continued.I would say over the last 4 years we have had obsessions with 15 words and noises. As before he seems to do it in humour thinking he is being funny.If he sees that you disapprove it just makes him be sillier to the point I end up losing it.I would say that his 5 year old brother has better control of himself. His relationship with his younger brother is mixed. He spends most of his time trying to do things to irritate him,which I think is normal,but he seems to take it really far and gets pleasure out of upsetting him. His Dad used to toy fight with him when he was younger,but had to stop doing it as he would never know when to stop. He is doing fabulous at school,no concerns whatsoever.He has a group of friends,but is not very close to anyone.Gives eye contact and when he is being himself is a lovely caring lad. But I am worried these behaviours are our fault in some way as his dad worries about silly things and I used to be a bit of a shouter. Or I guess the reason i am here is I am worried there is something else I am missing. He is just generally more challenging than my other children and I am Ok with that,and I know we are in the midst of teenage hormones which I can handle.It's the repetitive behaviours I don't understand.He controls himself at school just don't understand why not at home.I am at my wits end.PS Hope I am posting this in the right place.
Hello there,
After reading your post, I would say that it won't harm to get checked and see if everything is okay. There are different stages of autism, and sometimes children can be mildly autistic and act normal in different environments but do certain things differently than other children.
If, you don't mind me asking some questions.
Is he sensible to any loud noises, textures, light or anything else?
What things or activities does he prefer to take part in and which of them does he dislike?
Do you struggle to take him to public spaces and does he avoid crowded places or starts to misbehave that will grab the public attention?
What are his main favorite places that he likes to visit when he goes out? ( for example the zoo, cinema, galleries, playgrounds etc.)
Hi,thanks for your reply.I think he has never really fit the profile for being Autistic which is why I never went to GP.He is ok with Loud noises, textures and lights. When he was younger he found going into parties difficult and still struggles a bit with new situations. We had a group of Mums and kids and we went to parks, cinema and similar places with no issues. Last night after I wrote my post I read about PDA (pathalogical demand avoidance)on the Autism info page. That is my son. I Downloaded a questionnaire from the PDA society website and with every question I answered I thought, that's him.It was like a revelation! Some of things I found hard to explain such as the way he chooses to focus on his brother, his extreme reactions over small things, knowing how to upset specific people, avoiding any demand placed on him with bad behaviour or crying, denying bad behaviour, having no shame and feigning illness or injury - it's all him! I have found all this hard to quantify and explain at times as it just sounds like bad behaviour, but I had a feeling that it was more than this.All of this he manages to mask at school which apparently is normal?I have made an appointment with the GP tomorrow. I feel upset that he might have this and I have waited this long.The guilt is strong.