Published on 12, July, 2020
I thought it might be a good idea, for people who are looking for some advice, to explore the difference between being shy and being autistic.
There may be some individuals who suspect that they might be somewhere on the spectrum because they have difficulties with socialising and are not clear about the real differences between simply being timid and having autistic traits.
What are the key differences between someone who feels shy around groups of people and autistic people who have communication issues? How can you tell the difference?
Hi both.
Aspergerix I thought your post was really well written. It explains exactly how autism should be diagnosed you are so right introverts can be just introverts Shy people can be just shy but as you say the number of cluster profiles will determine whether someone is autistic or not just having those traits alone won't define you as autistic.
I don't at all think lost my way was making a dig at you at all I think they were just asking what other characteristics an autistic person has that a shy person may not.
Lost my way I can't comment on what a shy person feels however I have been accused of being shy on more than one occasion. I define shyness as low self esteem where as if the shy person was made to feel welcome in a group eventually their true personality would emerge and they could be themselves. I can only talk from experience that whilst I may appear shy I am not. If people welcomed me with open arms to a group I would still never fit in. I would still never feel like I was like everyone else. So whilst I may appear shy I am actually just watching the group to see how I can adapt myself for a short period of time to fit in. I couldn't keep it going all night. I would also be experiencing my other autistic clusters such as sensory overload due to my surroundings. I would be watching everything, trying to filter conversation from other noises. Watching where I sat/stood that made me feel comfortable. I would also be thinking I have nothing in common with these people (even if I did) because they weren't like me.
I think you can't tell a shy person from an autistic one if you are an NT it would only become apparent over a number of times you met that person that there was something else going on. If you are on the spectrum you may see signs.
I have been targeted by do Gooders social NT who want to take me undee their wing and help me fit in. I think it's nice of them (although if I'm honest I do think to myself they are on an ego boost haha) but then I remember once when one woman had a funny accent and I felt the need to repeat back something she said to me copying exactly how she said it. I had no idea I was going to do that. Foot in mouth as usual it just came out. Needless to say she no longer thought me shy but actually sarcastic and rude (which I'm not but can see why she might have thought it)
Sorry I'm rambling. I can only talk from experience but as Aspergerix says it's about clusters of traits.