Had first interview by adult autism team today

I think it might help if you try and separate some of the things that are going on.

Firstly, if you have ASD then there should be some fundamental difficulties in communication that the specialists should be able to identify. Do you encounter problems understanding other people and making yourself understood? Can you remember events,perhaps from junior school onwards where, for exampl, you did not understand the teacher or the teacher made some remarks that you never understood? Did you have friends at school or were you always on the outside? Are you comfortable looking people in the eye and do you understand peoples emotions if you do this? Do you encounter situations where people lose their temper with you and you don't understand why?

Secondly there are some peripheral or consequential issues that often coexist with ASD. You talk about stimming. This is very common in people with ASD but it doesn't form part of the diagnosis as it isn't part of the communication disorder that defines autism. Also, I expect you may be anxious or depressed but these issues do not help with working out what the diagnosis should be. People get anxious and depressed for all sorts of reasons and, in this situation, they make the diagnosis more difficult as they have to see through these issues to work out the underlying problem.

They, and you, shouldn't get too hung up on your mother's recollections - I was diagnosed with only my own stories of school and working life as my parents passed away before I was diagnosed. Another issue with parents is that they may have signs of ASD too. My father was 'eccentric' and I now understand that this was probably because he had autism too. Mothers can also have the syndrome and can also be more or less perceptive in describing their children's behaviour. I would think that anyone diagnosing you should be interested in parents' evidence but should always regard them as slightly unreliable witnesses.

I would agree with the suggestion to take the free test here aspergerstest.net/.../

The test seems to be a fairly reliable indicator, I expect you will get a high score :-)

I would maybe ask for a second opinion.have you tried doing the online AQ test to see what you score. I was diagnosed at 28 and been suffering all my life with similar symptoms. They shudnt just o on your childhood though, although that plays a big part there are many other areas to consider as well. 

Unfortunately what happened in childhood still plays a big part because age of onset of behaviours seems to be important to accurate diagnosis.

I anticipate many adults seeking diagnosis find this difficult, and would hope assessors are more sympathetic than those you encountered. 

I was diagnosed aged 55 without surviving parents so had to rely on input from a relative.

It does make me wonder how often the question arises.

Hi Dogdude, I am in a similar position as you. My mother wouldn't cooperate when I asked her to complete the questionaire, so have little evidence. Have spent so much time digging up stuff that is really painful, have pages of stuff I think is relevant (could write a book) but I don't know if it will fit in their boxes, and am also scared of the fallout. Am doing this on my own and don't have much of a support network.

Am trying to tell myself that whatever happens there is no magic pill, and whatever the diagnosis I am going to have to make some sort of effort to deal with things. 

Good luck anyhow!

Welcome to the forum,

It sounds as though you are getting very anxious about a particular aspect of the diagnosis. Anxiety about things and getting things out of proportion is, unfortunately, another symptom that probably confirms your suspicions.

The specialists do like to have some evidence to show that you have had a lifelong problem rather than a recent, short term psychological issue. It sounds as though there is plenty of evidence - it is quite normal for parents to be a bit vague or uncertain or unperceptive about their children's problems. Parents have only a limited amount of chance to observe and compare their children against other parent's children.

Try and relax and just be open and honest about things you can remember - they aren't trying to catch you out but they will want to make sure that they give you the right diagnosis.