So tired and so down

Thank you,i have been working in a specialist school for the last 2 years and juggling both has been hard,really tough to the point that i have given up my job and am now going to work in a mainstream school.

He is curently undiagnosed, i feel if the first peadatrician had done his job properly then he would have a diagnoses now,but unfortunately due to him not having a clue around a year ago we got a new pead and she is better.

Your son clearly has difficulites at the supermarket. It may be the lighting, the noise or the number of people but it is clearly a sensory overload issue hes struggling with here; his dislike of hand dryers and hoovers demonstrates auditory hypersensitivity but visual might also be present. Have you tried earmuffs or headphones combined with tinted glasses or shades? Can you avoid taking him to the supermarket, perhaps by getting your goods delivered?

Further, you cant allow people to openly mock your son no matter how unusual his behavour. Try glaring at them, and explain (audibly, to the mockers) to your son that they are very rude people...

You are showing symptoms of depression. Consult your gp as you need to take care of yourself if you are to properly care for your son.

Also it is unclear whether he already has a diagnosis. If so contact your local Autism body and ask for more support (this might work with a diagnosis pending.) If he is currently undiagnosed, you need to be both persistant and insistant. Make it clear to your gp that you are struggling yourself to cope with the challenges of parenting a child on the spectrum and also make regular appointments with the childs gp. Make both doctors fully aware of the difficulties you and your son face, and a diagnosis should be forthcoming. It seems very clear to me that your son is on the spectrum, and though you are exhausted, now is the time for a big effort to get that diagnosis and support.

Take heart however as there are ways and means of managing the difficulties associated with Autism.

I know quite often i have felt like giving up,the holidays are just a terrible time for us,if we go out for a nice day it never quite turns out that way,we cant have a nice day!

I just feel like i want to crawl into bed and not get out for around a week!

Hi - no, you're not making too much of it - it's because other people have you doubting yourself.  I was worn out with my son from when he was a baby.  He wd cry/scream a lot + most of the time was unhappy.  This was in the mid 1980s + in my part of the country they had a system which moved into action without parents having to fight for it.  So before his 3rd birthday he was diagnosed, having speech therapy + state nursery provision.  He then moved to an autism specific school where the speech therapy continued.  He spoke his 1st words at school - a 6 word sentence.  I'm mentioning this because I think a lot of children + parents are treated really shabbily + it angers me because things can be hard enough without any more angst being piled on.  Some of your son's behaviours remind me of my son when he was little.  Routine's so important!  Did you find the course helpful?  I hope so because if it was a gd 1,  it has the potential to help with anxiety, meltdowns etc.  Hopefully the knowledge you've gained will help you to take back some control over day-day life and your son can benefit.  There's lots of info via the home pg + the posts so have a look if you haven't already. Unfortunately at some point all of us have to fight for what our children need so never give up, even if you want to!

I mean to also say,he has this thing he does its like hunger just comes on him,if he doesnt get cooked food there and then he will have a huge meltdown, theres also been times when hes eaten so much hes made himself sick.

He also has not go much empathy,very very littlehe doesnt seem to care when someones hurt or crying.

nikmay42 said:

Hi Sharon , no your not making to much of it . My son is 22 and i have been through so much and am still trying to get him diagnosed , i find that these so called medical professions like to put us through all sorts of stuff to be then put down by them saying your labelling your child or is it the benefit money your after etc. All I wanted was to find out what exactly wrong with my child to get the help and understand him more plus to get the support and share things with other people . They never seem to understand the situation that you have to deal with day in and day out. Keep your head up and dont ever doubt yourself your a good parent . take care nikki

Ive got to the point where i am not looking after myself properly,i dont think people understand sometimes xxx

Hes 7 hope,i think i am just fed up with battling to be heard at the moment or for someone to belive me,the pead did say she was going to diagnose him with hfa and sensory depending on what school said,and because the sencos husband has cancer shes not been in so school havent been in touch,i then went to see the headmistress whos now apparently arranging a meeting in september.

At the moment he seems to be peeing all over the toilet seat all over the floor and all over the walls and in the bath! then i found a big poo handprint on my bathroom wall.

The pead has give us melatonin which ive started giving him aroun 10pm he was awake from anywhere till one in the morning,perhaps i should give it earlier?

I have been to the docs because i have been low and i have opted for councelling because of the way my son is,ive also had my other son whos 12 at casulty with a panic attack through the sheer stress of what we are living as a family.

Supermarkets are a nightmare! always have been but he will shout and scream at people when hes in them or even out sometimes asking why they are staing at him and laughing at him.

A couple of weeks ago he went on one because we were out and he said "my legs are tired theyve run out of petrol" well this man and woman laughed! how could you not? and that was it he went on one!

I dont think its helping because its the holidays!!!!!!!

Hi Sharon , no your not making to much of it . My son is 22 and i have been through so much and am still trying to get him diagnosed , i find that these so called medical professions like to put us through all sorts of stuff to be then put down by them saying your labelling your child or is it the benefit money your after etc. All I wanted was to find out what exactly wrong with my child to get the help and understand him more plus to get the support and share things with other people . They never seem to understand the situation that you have to deal with day in and day out. Keep your head up and dont ever doubt yourself your a good parent . take care nikki

Yes, it does sound  like it is very probable he is somewhere on the Autistic scale, going by what you describe. How old is your son now?