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Is diagnosis as an adult worth looking in to?

Mason

I've come here to vent more then anything, I know there's little anyone can do to help, but it would be nice to air out some concerns and have an outsiders opinion. I can't talk to my family about my concerns because they wouldn't understand. I took the test someone posted up on a sticky and it came to 8 (over 6 meaning considered for referral) and I also took another online test found linked from the embarrassing bodies website and on that I got 33 and over 32 means possibly autism spectrum

I do struggle with social situations, ive always found it difficult and Ive learned to smile and nod in the right places most of the time but that can backfire. I can't talk in groups very easily and conversation can be difficult when just talking to one person. I think I talk about things others arent interested in and pick up on things they don't notice (and again have no interest in) I have to really make a conscious effort to stop myself from coming out with facts about a topic during a conversation because I don't think I'm supposed to. Then there's things like at work, I try to remember to say hello to my co-workers but I often forget and don't know if I come off rude, same with saying goodbye to them too, I only say it in response if they say it to me. I also don't know what to say in certain situations for example a friend at work hurt her foot and I tried to be sympathetic as I know I'm supposed to and said "oh no" or sometching like that and she came back at me with "you couldn't be more sarcastic there could you" I then explained that I wasn't being sarcastic and I do care, but I don't always know how to express it.

I don't like doctors and I make a point of avoiding them at all costs and I couldn't go to him with this issue because I feel too embarrassed, it's probably nothing anyway and he'll think I'm an idiot. I sort of think, I am who I am and knowing can't change that and I've gone 27 years being who I am so I'll just have to deal with it. But it did cause problems in my last job and I ended up losing my job and then my flat and having to move back home to my parents house. That was mostly because the chef at the restaurant where I worked washing dishes at the time didn't like it when I was quiet and if I forgot to greet him or didnt join in the conversations, he thought I was in a mood when i wasn't I just didn't have anything to say, and then after time with him bullying me I developed a bit of an attitude with him when he was nasty to me and he didn't like it. The other problem it's causing is I'm 27 and never had a proper boyfriend because I just don't know how to talk to people, it gets me down and i get depressed but then when I think about it, I couldn't imagine having someons else in my space and not being able to do what I want all the time. its a difficult one and it would be good for me to know why I am the way I am, but I don't think I can fight to find it out and I know it would be a fight for it. 

What's the general view of being diagnosed as an adult, do people think it's worth it or is self diagnosis enough (I cope in life anyway so I wouldn't get any help from the doctors either way)

  • and just because u have been like it ur whole life it doesnt mean u cant get help i have had it my whole to and i am 29 and got diagoned about two months ago and surely if ur family love u they will help

  • my doctor was an idiot but i had enough went and explained my situation ans asked to be reffered and he did u will just have to go be upfront and honest and tell him what u want to happen u now urself well enough to know whats right and wrong and try taking someone with u and just think of how u will feel once u have done it and what the outcome u be and that u will get the help u need and make a list of positives to come from it and then u will have reasons and not excuses and here if u need a chat

  • Hi rr84, did you find your GP understanding about it? I have difficulties getting my point across and find talking to doctors very difficult and scary. I have never found them friendly and the don't seem to be interested at all. As soon as I decide I'm going to sort it I end up putting it off for a couple of days and then I chicken out and decide I'll have to cope without a diagnosis, but it really does affect me. As I get older I find I can't keep getting away with things under the excuse of being young, I'm 27 and im still struggling with basic things and it's becoming obvious to me and to other people too. 

  • tell him u have been researching it and u have most of the signs u believe u are autistic and ask if he can refer you to the relevant people that what i did

  • There is certainly potential benefits to being diagnosed later _ my 2 sisters are 73 and 54 - my niece 48 and my nephew 25 and they all receive PIP monetary benefits - one also gets a needs assessment grant of £7000 per year to use to help her cope better in her life - I am 58 next Sunday and  am in the process of having my PIP assessment - my 24 year old daughter is now on the waiting list on the NHS - we all went private  - my sister paying for mine as I have waited over 2 years for an NHS one - I my niece and nephew all work and still want to work but hope I can get some security for one day when I feel I can't anymore - Not just the money though is the understanding of why I have found life so hard and I can now go on to try to help others I hope - I hope this helps 

  • Interesting post, when you discribe yourself, you could be for the most part be writing about me. Just googled both tests you mentioned and I score 6/10 and 38. I've always felt different and had problems socalising......the internet is my saviour.

    Hope everything goes well getting a dx, I hate my gp too so you have my sympathies.

  • Thank you for your replies they are very helpful, as I'm having so many issues i am definitely going to try and talk to my GP as soon as I get the courage to ring up and make an appointment.

    IntenseWorld, that's great advice, i will do that, I've filled in the AQ10 and got 8 out of 10 so that should help. I actually spoke to my mum about it today too, I was unsure about talking about it with her but thought I'd try and see how it goes, it actually went well, she looked through the AQ10 and the other much longer test I'd filled in and printed and she agreed with all of my answers and thinks its a good idea to talk to the GP about it. it's nice to have her support!

  • It depends on how severe, how it affect you. It seems you would get a diagnosis of ASD-asperger syndrome or asperger syndrome. If you were growing up in 2014, it is likely you would get diagnosed with asperger syndrome or ASD - asperger syndrome.

    In employment, there are some good employers, people who will support you. You may be able to get a guaranteed interview for certain companies.

    It explains, your difficulties. You may be told recommendations, therapies.

    You might get benefits. There might be employment services.

    I did the Autism Spectrum Quotient Score, I scored 24/25. It does not help me practically. I cannot get support. I suffer from dyspraxia, quite badly. I can get support

  • You've already had lots of replies so I hope you don't mind a slightly different slant. (I'm also working towards a diagnosis). 

    You don't need a diagnosis to find out about about ASD or similar. Just being involved in the forum or reading a few books will start to show you if you feel the same way about certain issues. I found it was like joining a family because at last I found people that understood me. 

    For now I'm still working towards a diagnosis because it will help to get my "differences" recognised at work and avoid me being pushed into situations that I will blow up in. Knowing what I have discovered in the last six months has given me enough proof that I don't really need the diagnosis to confirm I have Aspergers.

    As for visiting the doctors, do. I wish now that I'd written the doctor a letter with the details before I had attended as I never manage to put over the argument well when I'm there. It is certainly worth considering writing if you find you can express things easier.

    The other point is that the challenges we face daily bring a whole lot of other baggage with it like depression and poor self-image. Just telling someone about how you feel (or what you think) is a major step forward. 

    For me I see it as a journey not a diagnosis with the destination being comfortable with who I am.

    Dunk

  • Write down bullet points of the ways you are affected in a summary, complete the AQ10 and take it to the GP and simply say I would like a referral for ASC assessment, this is why and hand him the two sheets of paper.

    In case the GP tries fobbing you off, tell him/her that the AQ10 is an NHS NICE recognised GP screening tool and (assuming you scored 6 or above) according to the Autism Act & Autism Strategy you are entitled to be assessed.

  • Well I've been wanting to go to the GP and try to get this sorted, but I was so nervous and unsure what to say and I tried discussing it with my dad and he agrees I'm 'different' and have these issues but that I shouldn't want to be labelled... But he doesn't understand how difficult it is, so I'm still wanting a diagnosis. it's been made worse now by a problem in an interview for the job I'm currently in (we have to reapply every year) and then even worse after a bad day at work yesterday where I ended up in tears and had a panic attack and it was basically the same problem as I had in my last job, so it's definitely me causing this somehow and I'm now worried that the same thing is going to happen again! 

    my problem is, what should I say to my GP, how should I bring it up with him. I'm really not good at talking to doctors and end up not explaining things properly and so nothing gets sorted, but it's more serious now that it's affecting another job. Any advice on how I should approach this would be really helpful.

  • Thank you LoCommotion, I appreciate your advice, I think you're right, I would feel a lot better if I could understand why I am the way I am and be able to explain it to people If there's a problem. It caused trouble in my last job but even in where I am now I get asked why I'm in a mood by my supervisors when I'm not and people ask me why I'm being quiet and I think they take offense but I just don't have anything to say to them, I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong but it's something and I'd hate for the same thing to happen in this job so i do need to get some help. I just hope the doctor listens and understands. our surgery only has one doctor at a time and they're all locums so I've no idea what to expect with them but I've never had a nice doctor at this surgery. I haven't mentioned my concerns to my mum because she doesn't understand these things, she knows I've struggled a lot socially but she never understood my problems with depression and anxiety, she would just tell me to cheer up and stop being silly. So I don't think she'd understand this either.

  • I think that if you are experiencing such difficulties with your life as you describe in your opening post, then it's worth pursuing a diagnosis. Like you, I have found it hard to find jobs and stay in employment all my life - I'm now 42, and eventually I had a breakdown and had to go and live with my mum for a while to recover. I think that if I hadn't had the assessment and diagnosis, I would never have been able to forgive myself for what happened, and the depression and feelings of self-hatred would be a lot worse. A diagnosis can also allow you access to treatment and other services. Your GP is legally obliged to refer you, so don't take no for an answer. I would write down the individual symptoms and give a specific example of how they affect you, as you did in your opening post, take along a parent or family member who knew you as a child to back you up, and present them to the GP in written form. If one GP refuses, you can ask to see a different GP.

  • I don't think there is I've had a search online and can't find anything. I might have to try and talk to him. Thank you for your help 

  • Thank you for your replies, I think you're right it would really help to get a diagnosis. Especially with work. My GP isn't nice and there isn't another in my area so I don't think I can talk to him about it. But I'll have to try to figure out a way. Is it appropriate to write to a GP? 

  • Thank you for your replies, I think you're right it would really help to get a diagnosis. Especially with work. My GP isn't nice and there isn't another in my area so I don't think I can talk to him about it. But I'll have to try to figure out a way. Is it appropriate to write to a GP? 

  • You sound like an Aspie to me, and absolutely it's worth it.  With a diagnosis you have a legally recognised disability which gives you protection in the workplace - something it sounds like you needed in your past job.  It also entitles you to reasonable adjustments by all public bodies, which includes GPs, so anything (within reason) you need to make it easier for you to access your GP will be forthcoming.  Also, over 70% of people with ASCs have or end up with co-morbid mental health issues such as anxiety or depression and without a diagnosis, struggling along through life wihtout recognition or support you will inevitably end up with worse mental health issues.  There have been studies to prove this.