Published on 12, July, 2020
The thread for listing the lifestyle changes that have...um...changed your lifestyle. Or something.
Even if these tips seem to others to be complete nonsense, they worked for *you*; and, who knows, maybe other people will try them out and s̶u̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶w̶a̶r̶d̶s̶ find that the recommendations also work for them?
Let us p̶r̶a̶y̶ begin:
(Coke: the Devil's Pop. Well, that doesn't sound very dramatic but you get the general idea)
Coke, or possibly, Choke: Since I gave up Coca Cola a couple of years ago, I have almost zero headaches and zero acid reflux.
(Fruit Loaf: The miracle cure for Steveness!)
Fruit Loaf: The miracle cure for...oh, I've already written that bit. Anyway, literally always after eating some fruit loaf, I feel remarkably well. Before fruit loaf, I was a middle-aged failure; after fruit loaf, I am a middle-aged failure with no fruit loaf left. Seriously though, this stuff works, dammit!
*shakes puny fist*
So there you have it. Post your tips here, or just ignore this thread and I'll get lost. Merci beaucoup. x
BEST THREAD EVER! thanks
I'm ashamed to say my home is in a similar state currently.
Have they tried to protect the anonymity of a gnome or is it santa claus?
They have frosted out the little figure alongside the fireplace.
That is adorable ?!
This would probably be my house if I didn't have the constant pressure of house inspections (I'm renting) forcing me to do big clean-ups every few months.
I really thought this thread was about rubbish tips.
Here is a good tip. Keep on top of your rubbish, before your living room looks like this.
Am I the only one who genuinely thought this was about rubbish tips? The places where you take unwanted junk.
Coke is the devil's soda I'm still trying to cut down but struggling it's all I drink and have done for a year or two, six-eight cans a day.
Foil scrunch up in a large ball before putting in the recycling bin.
Blister packs local church got a recycling box for those.
Given up most soft drinks due to having a sugar rush and another reason don't have Mars bars.
Supposed to be getting a food waste bin (instead of scraping into the kitchen bin?)
Wrote to the council as had to pay for a new large recycling bin. Absolutely ridiculous.
I was lying in bed the other month, idly wondering how I could avoid the strenuous effort of getting up and filling a hot water bottle - it was floopin' cold and, with toes rapidly turning into frozen fish fingers, I required a way to stop becoming Steve of the Antarctic. Suddenly, divine inspiration appeared out of nowhere; a bit like when an apple bonked on the bonce of Sir Isaac Newton and *looks at Wikipedia* he discovered gravy. Now, all that was needed was a simple means to enlighten mere mortal, non-scientific geniuses amongst the masses; here it is:
* Stage One: Take a pair of gloves.
* Stage Two: Put them on your feet.
* Stage Three: That's it - there is no more.
(Caption: Someone off Youtube who invented Feet-Gloves before me, but please ignore that bit)
Amazingly, when I told foolish friends about my plan to make billions via this revolutionary product and laid out the blueprints I'd crayoned, they scoffed with patrician disdain and said bizarrely irrelevant nonsense like: "Anyone can put some gloves on their feet, you moron - how the bloody hell are you going to copyright that? Oh god, how did I end up with friends like you...I've clearly failed in life...ffs, please shoot me" (and many other self-indulgent laments). They must be on drugs, I'm sure you'll agree. Perhaps, I concluded sadly, the world is not ready for such high-tech innovations; and so you can have this tip for free.
I have no tips (yet... She says potentially ominously) but if I find any I'll add to this thread. It made me laugh!
I urge you to eclair a truce between us now.
I'm trying to do grown up and important things this evening.
Need to focus - need to fade this frequency out for the evening.
Love to all - welcome back Steven - you can see that we are as excited as daft puppies.
All good bro.
Bless choux
I'm not going to rise to it any more, I'm finding this pressure quite hard to cake.
I think you've stollen your puns off Mary Berry
Thank you for the puns, folks!
Perhaps over the Border, they are?!
Most definitely
PS....do you reckon Steven is already regretting coming back......is that him creeping quietly backwards, towards the door, smiling and gently (but uncomfortably) chuckling.....?
Pitta your jokes couldn't be better
Its a pure slice of leven to have Steven back with us.
Banana and habernero chutney for procrastination