Autism shame?

I get that. I feel awkward when I see other autistic people being open about their vulnerabilities, because it feels like they're telling people MY vulnerabilities. My dad is quick to tell people I have autism, which really bothers me.

I don't like to use language that's commonly identified with autism, or trauma, or the buzz words of the year for people with issues. I'd never say that something triggers me, or that I feel overwhelmed or burned out. I wouldn't tell anyone in real life that I see a therapist, bar very close confidants.

Honestly, I'm not very comfortable with people knowing personal things about me at all. I don't even like making food while people are around, because I don't want them to know what I'm making.

I can only say from my perspective, in my opinion the fact that autism is such a “hot” topic and there are so many online influencers who claim to be advocating for autistic people is often harmful. For us. I heard once from a professional, that in fact I’m “a little bit autistic” but it’s so trendy these days, everyone wants to be autistic. I heard that after describing her my problems, I was also gaslit that these problems are not real problems. So hearing it that it’s just for attention, trendy etc is extremely hurtful and toxic, it feels like a slap on my face after what I went through and still fighting. This also made me feel shame for who I am. But for short. I quit seeing that psychotherapist and said to myself there is no need to be ashamed for who I am.

No shame here

Wise words, from a wise JLyn.

Wise words, from a wise, wise man.  RIP.

2018 when diagnosed I was open about it to all. But reactions at work and with some friends made me ashamed of having it.

We moved due to my husbands work and I haven't told anyone because I don't want to go through that again. 

Now I feel more peace personally about it. But have still decided thus far  not to share as I don't trust people. 

Indeed: “The bullies could not do what they do if it was not for people like us” — then shouldn’t we go on strike?

no need, write left hand badly as well

use your right hand for ransom letters :)

Heyyy fellow Yorkshire! 
But I agree, you can shape you’re chosen family, but it is so hard having people who love you not love you for everything that encompasses you 

Life is scary and chaotic and people don’t like what they don’t understand 

Hi

thank you for your comment, my notifications went to spam so I didn’t see any replies

I choose some things around my room for usernames, I had some vinyls and a big jar of shells and I never noticed the sand!

My mum would absolutely never say that, it’s internalised shame 

It’s called autism and what it means to me, it’s created for people who have been newly diagnosed about the different aspects of autism and what they mean personally to you

I will, now my notifications don’t go to spam I’ll stay on more and fill out some details. 

Hi

thank you, I found this really interesting. It’s incredibly true, the social view of autism is not defined by people with autism and therefore it will never truly represent autistic people. 
That was very insightful, thank you for commenting!

Don't be embarrassed about blowing your own trumpet. How can people know you can play it if you do not blow it. Head back, chest out a walk with pride.

LEFTY's RULE.

www.thefamouspeople.com/left-handed.php

My dad used to beat me to try to be right handed. My mum was not having any of it so mainly left handed but can write right handed, badly.

Wolseley1800 said:

Normally they will have used you because you have the abilities that they don't, this was probable why they bullied you - jealously. 

Absolutely - I'm a chartered engineer - without blowing my own trumpet, I have done things and am capable of things that most people can't imagine - but my enthusiasm, drive and attention to detail can be seen as quite naive and 'users' seem to see me a mile away.

My abilities got me to the top but left me wide open to abuse - and I was mercilessly abused for many years.

BTW - I'm a 'lefty' too.

Plastic, Wolseley1800

just agree with Wolseley  last comments, now i have to go out into the rain .

my dad could write with both hands because he was left handed and was forced to write with his right hand.   entertaining when i saw him perform this feat but kinda shocking.

Can he use the 'Format' tab for the options.

This is why good friends are important.

You can not choose family or workmates but you can choose friends.

What you need to workout is why these people did what they did. Normally they will have used you because you have the abilities that they don't, this was probable why they bullied you - jealously. 

I can see those sort of things in my life and where I went wrong. But that's then not now because they are also why I am where I am now and now is important. Your past made you the Geek you are today.

The way I look at it is like this:-

My bullies are a waste of space, they play sport but I am an Engineer. NOBODY today can do anything without engineering. It was Engineers who sent man to the moon, help surgeons do tricky heart & brain operations, give us the ability to converse through the ether and is the backbone of modern life. The bullies could not do what they do if it was not for people like us. 

Yes it is Asperger's that lets us do this. We do not get tied down with peerism or social conformity.

Be proud of who you are and what you do.

I was diagnosed last year and I'm 61. I also am Dyslexic and left-handed. . Plus born and bred in Yorkshire so there is no real hope for me.

DC uses a tablet

I got diagnosed because of the increasing number of problems my Asperger's was causing - I'd reached the limits of my masking.      Since then, the more I understand about myself, the more ashamed and disgusted I am with my Aspergers.       I can now see and feel when people have been / are using and manipulating and bullying me.    I've been treated shockingly over the years by people I had to trust - mainly in the workplace.

It's that sudden realisation that I'm a joke that hits really hard.       I absolutely understand why there are so many Asperger's suicides.