Finding meaning in life

How do you all make your life feel meaningful? I am 42 single living with parents. No children no great achievements. I wanted to do more but feel life life never got started because mental illness got in the way. I cant save money because I spend when I feel bad which is often. I'm tired of feeling like lofe is going nowhere. 

  • I'm in the same boat tbh, I have no meaning to my day. I just stick to my routines and keep myself entertained. Not really thinking about what people class as regular achievements. I spent a good chunk of my life trying to live that life and ended up in chronic burn out / shutdown mode. I'm not fit for work, so working is a no, relationships have all been abusive so I'm not really in the headspace for relationships, I dont have a friend group, schooling was an absolute nightmare and I have no qualifications to my name. I still live at home with my mum and yeah. I just try to keep on top of regular living maintenance stuff, which I find really hard. (keeping myself fed, clean and enough exercise) and then do what I can to keep myself entertained. Pick up new hobbies, dive into my hyperfixations, and try to be kind to myself. 

    Sometimes doing the bare minimum is all you can muster and thats okay ^_^ just focus on what you can do and try to keep positive.  

  • My meaning in life that started to get developed through my thirties is to help others and to make good, meaningful connections with people.

    I think it's unlikely I'll have children and I've come to think of people in general as my children/my brethren/my crew. People are my people and I want to care for them.

    This purpose developed for me from how good I felt working in a job that helped people get control of their diabetes. The feeling felt so right, it became a general purpose in life.

  • I actually want to be normal, after being a misfit for so long. However, I received quite a few kicks in the teeth.

    I want to pass on my values to any children I have. Only dead fish go with the flow. Too many kids are just expected to have mountains of toys/devices and the parents soon realise that the kids are down a rabbit-hole.

  • I found satisfaction volunteering to help others but with very hard limits to my involvement - my 'giving' personality would very easily get taken advantage of so I need clear boundaries and start and stop limits.

    I found that helping out with the Explorer Scouts ticked the box - it's only a couple of hours per week with clearly defined times.

    It meant that i got to interact with people and got to do exciting stuff with the kids - and as they're 14-18 year old, it's proper, semi-dangerous stuff like shooting, raft building, Go-Ape, climbing, abseiling, archery etc.    

    As it's all about the activities, it's not taxing on my social skills - it's all about being sensible and lots of comfortable rules.    As an adult, the scouts also have all sorts of training available like first aid and all the child protection / safeguarding courses.

    It gives a good feeling of achievement and you get to try out and master all the skills - which is all good CV fodder..

  • Hey :) lots of people are looking for the same answer, and to be honest, it's something that's personal. What would you want to be remembered for? When you're on your deathbed, what would you like to see when you look back? What can you do to make the world a better place?

    These sound like big questions, but the answers don't have to be big. For some people, it's as simple as going out of their way to look after other people more often. For wealthy visionaries, it's setting up billion-dollar philanthropy organisations. Whatever it is, it'll answer those questions above, and gives your life some direction. A common one is charity, as some others on this thread have posted - giving to others is a simple principle that helps others and makes the world a better place.

    Those who've answered this question find that their life has a good sense of direction and purpose - two things that many people struggle to figure out. When we all lived in villages with small populations, each person mattered a lot, and each place had it's own belief systems that gave us purpose. Now, in a world of billions of people and growing proportion of people who don't believe in religion strongly, it's up to us to redefine our purpose in the world, and how we wish to lead our lives. In doing so, we give ourselves a stronger foundation for mental wellbeing and spirituality x

  • Sometimes I think one of the most dangerous things we're taught in society is that life must have meaning. 

    But then many people seem happier with meaning so I leave them to it. 

    But I always question the very idea of needing meaning in the first place. 

    It depends on the person, I guess I'm learning. 

    For me, the idea of 'meaning' feels like too much pressure. And the more pressure I feel under the less I do anyway... 

    Also, I've said it before but I'll say it again... 

    There is 'nowhere' for life to go really. It doesn't have to go anywhere. 

  • I want to die and the sooner the better. As long as it's painless. I'm bullied every day by violent men. Britain is fascist. My father bullies me every day. When I got my own flat two male neighbours terrorised me. No one cares. I have scars on my face from a time I cut myself with a knife in a few places. My jumper turned red with blood. When I did it I walked to the local pub and stood in the door while I was still bleeding. Suddenly all those hard men fell silent. Nothing really matters but be happy, have a good one.

  • Are you getting help? There are crisis cafes, crisis text services if you don't want to talk to people in person etc, theres lots of options out there. and a lot of them are trial and error, so if you have tried something before, its always worth trying again. 

    also could I ask that if you are going to talk about self harm and you are going to discribe it, please put in capitals a TRIGGER WARNING (self harm) infront of your text, so that people who are triggered by reading about such things, know to avoid it.  

  • All of those people are weak phony hypocrites. None of them care about people like me. I tried, they take the mickey out of me. 

    Try being a man, who has no friends, and is Autistic and mentally ill. Suddenly you will see just how cruel and cold this world is.

  • I am a person with autism, mental illness, no friends and a shut in. Trust me, I know the world is cruel, which is why I avoid it the majority of the time. (seriously last time I left the house was last year and that was only for an hour, havent been out sice except to a furneral and even then I have to have valium to keep my anxiety down.  I have my own history with the mental health system, breakdowns, hospitals therapists etc. I know its all very hard and its so easy to just give up on any hope that things will be different. But trust me, outlook on life, positivity and being kind to yourself goes a long way when it comes to quality of life.

    Its exhausting at times and it is hard but it helps a lot. Be kind to yourself.