An aggressive and abusive neighbour

I’ve been struggling with an issue with a neighbour for the last few years. I’ve been going through emotional rollercoasters where I go from figuring I can learn to ignore it and that I still want to stay in my flat to fretting that I want to leave. 

The neighbour lives across from me and he gets irritated and pissed off at me for... coming and going from my flat. I’m not even exaggerating. 

He’s called me many names through the years, he bangs on his door loudly when i am coming back or going out. He has told me he wants me to leave. He has moved garden furniture so it was around and facing my window like having an audience around my windows. 

He has left leaves and bits of paper outside my door. Our flat doors lead to a corridor in a building, just mentioning because otherwise the obvious answer to the leaves thing is “Isn’t that just leaves falling from the trees and the wind”

I know all these things sound small but its the accumulation of everything that eventually gets to me. It’s his blatant lies when people have confronted him about it, its the mind games he plays. 


I thought i’d Started to deal with my anger and anxiety towards all this stuff, but today after he did something, only a tiny thing really but still....I found myself agitated and distressed by this whole situation. 

I’m currently staying at my parents house because my flat has just been redecorated and i’ve Been staying here while its been getting done. Also been staying while i wait for the smell of the paint to die down a bit not just for myself but for my pet Budgie. I went back today to sort a few things out in my flat, getting it ready to probably go back this weekend. 

But i’ve Just come back to my parents feeling helpless about this whole thing. 

The flat looks good. And i got to choose the colours so its been really personalised. 

And now I just feel like refusing to go back. 

I don’t know what to do. This break from having to deal with him only seems to have heightened my anxieties when I am back there. 

Its not really ideal for me to move back here to my parents, its just not practical. 

But I dont feel like i can move anywhere else because of the support i get where I live. I feel like I wont get it anywhere else. 

I wish I could just ignore him like I keep being told to do. But that irritates me too. Because its like all the responsibility is being put on me while he just behaves however the hell he wants and gets away with it. Partially because he’s so sneaky about what he does. And partly because apparently what he does isn’t enough for anyone to do anything about it. 

I just feel helpless. 

The managers of the place I live in are useless. The support workers understand to some extent but their hands are tied they dont have the power to do anything about it other than relate everything back to the useless managers. They pay me lip service where the say things like “We’re taking your complaints seriously and we’re sorry you’re going through this.” But they dont do anything. at least not as far as I can tell. They wont give me the most basic of feedback of what they might do, or might be doing about the problem. 

I keep thinking maybe i’m The problem. And for a while i’ll Calm down and tell myself i’m Making it all seem worse than it is. But I’m anxious to leave my own flat and I feel like I have a quota for how many times a day I’m allowed to leave my flat before he’ll be angry at me for opening my own door! And it’s not like i spend my days going in and out constantly. My quota on good days seem to be three times. On bad days I only need open my door once!