I know there are quite a few people on here that have had struggles with mental health. I'm wondering if anyone could advise me from their experiences.
I've always had a slightly up and down mood, even as a child. But never to an extreme and never long lasting. I've always been easily irritated and angered which I would assume is my autism. The last few years I've noticed more and more periods of low mood. I think part of this may be due to lack of friends. But it tends to go away when I'm busy so I've never been too concerned.
At the moment my mood seems to be lower and longer lasting. It does still go away for periods when I'm at work and I feel fine. But I'm feeling like I'm more easily irritated by others at work at the moment and I'm worried about this getting work. In the evenings I do feel really quite low. It's a very heavy feeling and I have no idea why. Could it be depression? Or would I feel like this constantly if it were depression?
I know I should probably go to the doctors about this but I know I won't tell them. I don't know why but I've never been able to admit to low mood to an actual person. This is the only place I've ever been able to admit to it. I don't think I could even write it down and give it to them because I'd still have to discuss it.
The last time I went to the doctor they said to have a think about whether I wanted referring about my anxiety for a talking therapy or medication. I'm really not sure I want this either. But at the same time I'm not sure the anxiety and mood can carry on and I'm worried about it all getting worse.
Hi Binary, I’m really sorry to hear that your mood is low. Are you able to pinpoint other factors that may be causing your mood to be low? I can really relate to the up and down mood you describe as I’ve always had that too. Little things, such as perceived criticism or conversely a compliment, seem to trigger a big change in mood. I’ve suffered from depression a few times in the past and what you’re describing does sound like depression. It’s goid that is does go away for periods of time and isn’t constant, yet.
I know you would struggle to talk to your doctor about it but I really feel that you should see your doctor as I wouldn’t like to think of it getting worse and you having nothing to help you with it. Maybe write everything down including the fact that you don’t feel able to talk about it and let your doctor read what you have written. I have taken citalopram antidepressants in the past and have found them really helpful, even at a low dose. Talking therapy might not sound too appealing but if you also went on medication you would probably find that by the time you got to the top of the waiting list, your mood would have lifted enough for you to feel more able to talk about what is bothering you.
I’m here if you ever need to talk :-)
Thank you Kitsun. No I'm not sure about a trigger. That is what is worrying me little. I've always been easily annoyed and in this I can see the triggers- thinking someone is telling me off or having a go at me, things not being fair, people not following the rules etc. These things would put me in a bad mood but it would pass once I had calmed down again. I suppose a bit of a mini meltdown.
This is a different feeling. I'm not annoyed. I'm not sure I'm even sad. Just feel generally a bit rubbish. I can only explain it as my whole body feeling heavy. As I said it does lift but in the evenings I'm finding it difficult. Even if I do something to occupy myself.
I do think lack of friends and interaction is a little to do with it. But other than that I have no idea. It isn't helped by my anxiety which can be about anything and everything and very often a completely made up scenario in my head. I just want it to go away. It isn't helped by time of the month. My mood has always dropped at that time anyway but now it's dropping from low to lower.
I take on board what you say about the doctors and I know you're right but I just know that I will go in with the intention of telling them and bottle it.
I think lack of social interaction would be a likely cause of low mood. Sometimes we just get down for no particular reason. Time of the month never helps anything, I’m either really tearful or really snappy at that time! Incidentally the heavy feeling you describe is my marker for depression as opposed to just a bad mood.
I’m worried that you won’t go to your doctor. Could you post them a letter explaining? If you’re not able to then please if you ever feel really really down then call either your local crisis team or the Samaritans (numbers for your local branch would be easily accessible on google) Hopefully it doesn’t get to that point but I feel better for giving you the resources in case you ever need them.
Thank you. I do appreciate your help. I will try to think about going to the doctors but it takes me a really long time to get my head around anything, let alone do anything about it. I know I'm not helping myself if I don't go but unfortunately my anxiety often wins these battles.
Have you tried this:
Might give you an idea of whether you are just feeling a bit winter meh say, or whether it's something that needs a bit more attention.
I've suffered with periods of depression on and off since I was a child, although I didn't find out that was what it was until I was probably in my late 20s / 30s if not a bit later.
If you don't know what you're feeling, then you might not even realise you're depressed, you might just think you're feeling a bit unhappy for a long time. I found it difficult to realise when I was feeling that way for a long time until repeat experience gave me a better idea of what I should be looking out. I find it tends to slowly creep up on me. I now spot the times when I'm feeling unnecessarily down for no obviously good reason and it lasts more than a few days/weeks.
Thank you. I'll have a look. I have wondered a little about how well I recognise how I feel. I can recognise anxiety now but I didn't used to. I just used to get angry and not know why.
I thought it was just new year to begin with that was bothering me and it did improve a little after that was over and I was back at work and in a routine but then it dropped again.
Kitsun and Windscale have already given really good advice, just thought I'd ask if you knew about the Mind online services? I've emailed them in the past when I've felt unable to talk to someone face to face; I got a really detailed response about the symptoms I was experiencing, and an action plan for what to do next.
Here's the link in case you'd like to check it out: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/
I've had anxiety and depression for most of my life (but am finally starting to be able to cope with things better). I'm here if you ever want to talk or ask anything :-)
Thank you for this. I will have a look. I am far more likely to access something online.