Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello I need help and advice.
I have an extremely vivid imagination, which has some positives, especially when it comes to my writing and art. However I feel like my imagination is doing more harm than good for me.
I imagine such awful and very scary worst case scenarios in my head and convince myself they are going to happen to me. It makes me distressed and very anxious and I worry myself so much I make myself physically ill. I constantly live in fear of something truly horrible happening to me. My parents are concerned about me and my constant obsessing and worrying is destroying my relationship with my boyfriend (we've been together nearly 2 years).
So far I have imagined that I will die from a deadly disease soon, I will get cancer and not know about it and then I will die a horrible death, that someone will murder me in the street, I will get kidnapped, I will get locked in someone's basement forever, I will get accused of a crime I haven't done and will have my name and photo blasted all over the media, I will go to prison, I will get burned alive, someone will throw acid at me in the street, I will be a victim of a horrific assault or accident and will be disfigured, I will get raped and contract HIV or herpes, I will live in poverty after Brexit.....all these crazy things. Neurotypical people have constantly told me these worries are absurd but I somehow have come to a conclusion as to why each of those things will happen to me in the future. I spend all day and night worrying and thinking about them - I don't sleep, I have bad eating patterns, my house is a mess, I don't look after myself and I never get anything done due to my constant obsessing and panicking and overthinking these horrific scenarios.
I am seeing a counsellor again next week for the first time in years. I just want these thoughts to end I am so so sick of feeling like this.
This is just a case of needing inspiration for your thinking time.
Choosing negative scenarios is easy because you only have to look at news or films or books for inspiration. It's more effort to come up with positive scenarios.
I suffer from ultra-vivid dreams so what I do is write along list of 'nice' scenarios to direct my dreams and flesh them out somewhat so they are fresh in my mind to blot out any negative thoughts.
Maybe you might start your list with something like winning a nice amount on the lottery - where would you go, which cities would you visit, where would live? Which country and why? Where would you like to go for a holiday? What car would you have? How would you do your perfect Christmas? What would you really like to do for you birthday? The list is endless and full of nice thoughts to explore more.
It's quite easy then to fill your imagination space with nice, exciting, fantasy scenarios rather than negativity.