Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all,been doing a fair bit of talking to my dear wife just lately and keep coming up with lots of strange things that don't add up.
I can remember times that were not nice but very little happiness, I realise most people forget things about childhood especially when my age 54.
I had issues and when I got into my late teens I theorised I had dyslexic traits,it answered many questions but not all,it helped me go forward in life.fast forward 54 years and I find out about autism,it was a revelation in my life,it was my life.
I thought my dyslexia idea must be wrong but recently found that there can be a connection.
After talking about My recollections my wife says "are you sure as that doesn't make sense?" Things I never gave much credence too.
I was born in 1962 and things were different then.
For instance I do remember always being at home with mum or waiting for a bus to go shopping,nothing strange about that, but I had a younger sister and a brother who was only eighteen months older! So where were they? Why was I at home so often?
I was kept back at infant school and the kids I knew all left to go to big school, I was told it was because my birthday was early September. I was the oldest child from then on I also had a school full of strange new faces. I don't remember much about infant school,mostly teachers shouting at me,making me cry for not doing my work,being lazy or not concentrating,
I do remember some happy times but so few.being allowed to go collect our milk from the staff room with a sack truck.being in the big shed helping the caretaker clean out cages for hamsters rabbits etc,he was deaf and dumb but we got on ok.
I remember being in one class sat on the floor drawing around shapes,tins boxes but nothing free hand,the other kids were sat working with the teacher but I was not involved?
I also remember bits of a family meeting that ended with my whole family in tears,we stormed out and I was then told how it was all my fault? I wasn't upset until my siblings started saying I didn't care as I wasn't upset.
There are so many things that don't add up but I have a big question and hope I can word it so as not to upset anyone here.
Say for instance if I had been non verbal? Or just unable to function normally? Maybe in a world of my own? Back then labelled as retarded. There are a lot worse words which I don't want to put on here but back then there weren't any options.
So are there any adults here that basically knew nothing of the issues they had when young? It's as if I only woke up later in school.
Could I have been so poor functioning and not known it?
A big for instance was when I went to big school, All the kids were getting excited and I asked"why are you all excited and packing everything away?" The reply was "it's Friday!" I asked what that was about? The response was "are you thick or what?we get the weekend off". I asked why was that,was it holiday time?. I was laughed at and ridiculed by the kids.
I had no recollection of weekends! I had no concept of time. Life was one big blur of hurt and no understanding.
I hope I haven't put something that causes hurt but I have tried to explain.
many thanks.
Have a lovely evening with your daughter(s). End of the week hope you have nice weekends
I do have exceptions for remarkable people! Proud to be friends with them.they know who they are :) .
big Friday hugs.special visitor coming shortly so apologies if I am not here quite as much tonite.my amazing elder daughter,there both amazing by the way.
) ( said:not worth the hassle.
Ooooh that is a bit ouch-y :(
The no friends thing does seem to be a very common thing,I had one friend and we were closer than any brothers,he suddenly became "normal" and found a girl he liked,later married her and had children,I still felt betrayed? Strange thing to say but how I felt,I was actually dumped!
I went round his house as I often did,sat there most of the evening waiting and wondering,his mum finally turned to me and said"has he not told you he has a girlfriend and I don't think he will be back until very late" He hadn't said a word to me,maybe I could have accepted it if he had. No nothing,I was no longer needed end of.we met roughly aged 11 and seperated at 19.
I have no friends now and don't want any unless they have my interests,my hobbies and think like me! But they would probably come with baggage that I don't need, as in family,other friends,hobbies that I find boring like football.
not worth the hassle.
glad to hear you both joining in here albeit not happy things,
take care.
Robert124 said:Such as feeling detached from other children
Back at you Spotty () () () ()
()()()()
Memories of early childhood!
I'm now 55.
I can identify with many of the stories people have written above. Such as feeling detached from other children and seeing life through a kind of mental fog.
Other memories are just plain horrific, such as being dragged up stone stairs by my father by my ears, like a rag doll with the skin on my legs being torn off as my legs hit the edges of the stairs.
Also not having any friends either at home or school.
The only school I felt comfortable in was a 'special' school I attended for a year when I was 9 years old.
Awwww! Might restrict my snorkelling capacity though.... you are such a sweetie x
Forgot to give you this Ellie,be sure to keep it well above the water,held up high.
Oh Spotty hope sofa time soothed you again Well done for getting through it. Hope you enjoyed the bass lesson. How was your day Ellie? I was gardening this morning and had a quiet day. Chuffed to bits with the decorating so far.
Trunk just above the water line...but beware the undertow...making iffy noises also x
Thanks Ellie, I still make iffy noises. Hope you have your trunk above water. x
Oooh a flower, thank you! Proper in your face contact lens check, even had to get the optician to take them in and out because I was too shakey. Ahhhh. Survived.
Well done spotty on getting through the contact lens appointment,making the appointment? Or attending it? Both stressful things.bass lesson? We have a musician in our ranks.I come across all sorts of bizarre looking tools,I have one which I think is a skiving tool?wooden handle flat blade but curved along it's edge and lots of shallow slots cut into it,as old as it is it is very sharp.it has two angled spikes on the tip.length is about 3 inches long blade.
I have old wooden planes,panel beaters hammers, basically I have lots and lots,sometimes the tools turn out to be rare names or collectible,I bought an early axe head minus handle,really gnarly looking thing,it is a firemans axe,couldn't find any on the net searches with the name on it,turns out the company only made fire engines,from early carts to horse powered ones,Since found one immaculate listed online£90. Rare as not many commissioned.
my crew are great mostly,I do spend a lot of my time trying to team build,if I had the chance I would encourage it more.treat your workers happy and the company thrives.
thanks for that lovely hug,one back to you.
You have helped complete my day.
Spotty Tortoise said:If you ever restore upholstery tools, I'd be interested! ()
Hi Spotty...missing you loads..glad the bass lessons going well xx
So glad you had a happy day Lone, Happy Birthday young man! I've had a day of bass lesson and contact lens appointment and hiding on the sofa, so not a complete disaster!
I'm not surprised that your colleagues appreciate you, you have a big heart and I'm sure your crew see that.
Birthday hug from me!
If you ever restore upholstery tools, I'd be interested! ()
Thanks for the hug.
sorry fire monkey I was typing when you posted your reply.welcome to my rambling post, it allows me and others to mull things over about our early years,well the ones I can remember.I like the pie anology.mine is full of sawdust,my head that is,
By the way have I given you a hug yet?
just in case! Big hug fire monkey.
hey you two posted as I was typing,yes I am old 55 but look 70.hello Ellie I was hoping you were about, I am mr happy today.back is behaving,been operating a jcb digger today as the job needed experience,
oh I am so happy,did I mention how happy I am?
big hugs Ellie.you are nice.