Managing Shutdowns

I always liken a shutdown to someone with a garden that has got out of control.  There comes a point where it gets more out of control no matter how much effort was put in, there are just not enough hours in the day to get it back in order.  So what then happens is that nothing is done.  The only real answer is to start everything again, clear every thing and go back to square one.

This to me is my shutdown.  So many demands put on me, when I know I should finish a job off but then am told to do something else.  So evenutally, the work has built up ... and no matter what it gets worse.  So evenutally, I get to the point I do nothing.  Shutdown and not only in the set task but in other parts of my life as well, even things I get enjoyment from.  And to get it back into order is very difficult, not an easy process.  Too many demands, and not feeling in control causes overload.  Overload means anxiety.  Anxiety causes meltdown and shutdown, not necessarily in that order.  So for want of ever more being required means that the result in the end is nothing is done.

Managers at work tend to think this is something I am doing on purpose.  Yet it is a problem that is caused by their ever increasing demands over things that I am not allowed my control over.  Managers seem incapable of listening, usually they think there i some sort of training that can make everything better.  They seem to think that counselling is the answer to anxiety, rather than removing the cause of the anxiety.  Problems are created in the modern way of living by having too many conflicting demands, too many officials, not enough understanding and too much contol by others.

I have said before on the forums here that problems for autistic people are often caused by the demands of society.  I can certainly work in my own way far more efficiently.  Being Autistic I work by the 'division of labout' method, it is far more efficient.  And unfortunately many managers, especially in the service industry do not understand this.

I always liken a shutdown to someone with a garden that has got out of control.  There comes a point where it gets more out of control no matter how much effort was put in, there are just not enough hours in the day to get it back in order.  So what then happens is that nothing is done.  The only real answer is to start everything again, clear every thing and go back to square one.

This to me is my shutdown.  So many demands put on me, when I know I should finish a job off but then am told to do something else.  So evenutally, the work has built up ... and no matter what it gets worse.  So evenutally, I get to the point I do nothing.  Shutdown and not only in the set task but in other parts of my life as well, even things I get enjoyment from.  And to get it back into order is very difficult, not an easy process.  Too many demands, and not feeling in control causes overload.  Overload means anxiety.  Anxiety causes meltdown and shutdown, not necessarily in that order.  So for want of ever more being required means that the result in the end is nothing is done.

Managers at work tend to think this is something I am doing on purpose.  Yet it is a problem that is caused by their ever increasing demands over things that I am not allowed my control over.  Managers seem incapable of listening, usually they think there i some sort of training that can make everything better.  They seem to think that counselling is the answer to anxiety, rather than removing the cause of the anxiety.  Problems are created in the modern way of living by having too many conflicting demands, too many officials, not enough understanding and too much contol by others.

I have said before on the forums here that problems for autistic people are often caused by the demands of society.  I can certainly work in my own way far more efficiently.  Being Autistic I work by the 'division of labout' method, it is far more efficient.  And unfortunately many managers, especially in the service industry do not understand this.

There are many instances of a repressed minority being bullied by a stronger majority.  And it is basically a form of slavery.  Not so long ago it was very acceptable to discriminate against women, and even more recently against peoples sexuality.  Nowadays, these are both illegal and subject to the force of the law.

These things usually happen slowly.  It took a long while from the Tolpuddle Martyrs being transported for requesting better conditions to trade unions being recognised as a legitimate body, it took a long time for slavery to be abolished (although it was only really toned down since working classes are still beholden to those with power) a long time to get universal suffrage and a long time to get anything approaching equality regarding sex, age, religion, colour etc.

What we do have to do is make our voice heard.  We are vastly outnumbered by neurotypicals, most NTs not understanding the condition and others thinking with a bit of 'counselling' Autism can be 'cured'.  NTs that accept our condition often think that we can be 'normal' if 'we try a bit harder'.  Many autistic people have great trouble expressing themselves, even though there may be great intelligence within.  After all Stephen Hawking (I'm not suggesting he is autistic) has great problems in expressing himself due to his disability but there is a brain the size of a planet in him.  And we do not know what there is within a lot of autistic people if a way for them to express themselves cannot be found.

So we have to tackle it a bit at a time.  Firstly, acceptance as to what we are.  We are not a threat to other people, we just want to lead our lives in our own way.  Yes we do know there are rules, but unless the need for these rules is explained we can have difficulty in complying.  And then we must be allowed to get on with our lives in our own way,

We must get people in authority on our side.  Yes, we have examples of autistic people who have done all right for themselves.  We might use these examples to help explain.  We must not be afraid to call ourselves 'disabled' but this has to be explained we are disabled by the ways of society and not much in a medical sense.  We are wired differently, we think in a different way, we have capacity for great knowledge and great input and offer a different way of thinking that can be very useful.  And we are not having tantrums if we don't get our own way, we are having meltdowns and shutdowns because of overload, because of conflicts of information and these are noticeable in us because we react in different ways and find it more difficult to suppress, and the mere act of trying to suppress feelings leads to more anxiety with its attendant meltdown and shutdown.

We should take every opportunity of writing to the press and broadcasters of the problems we face and the way we would like to be treated.  We shoud lobby MPs, not just stay quiet and allow ourselves to be bullied and controlled. 

I know all this is difficut, that is why it will be a slow process.  But we will have to start somewhere. The revolution starts

Since we are in poetic mood here, thought I'd share this one, a song written by Brian Bedford of acapella trio 'Artisan', and covered by numerous folk style groups.  I find this very true and I always think of this song when confonted by someone who wants to control me.

What's the Use of Wings?
(Brian Bedford)

 "I could have been a giant" said the bonsai tree
 "But someone bound my roots and held me down."
 "I could have reached the Heavens" said the snowy owl
 "But they clipped my wings and kept me on the ground."

 "I think I heard them tell me that they loved me
 That they'd care for me--without them I would die
 But what's the use of roots if you can't spread them?
 What's the use of wings if you can't fly?"

 "I could have been a singer" said the Myna bird
 "But they caged me and told me what to say."
 "I could have run forever" said the pony
 "But they bridled me and made me go their way."

 "I think I heard them tell me that they loved me
 That they'd care for me forever so it seems
 What's the use of voices without freedom?
 What's the use of living other's dreams?"

 Why do people cage the things they love the most?
 Is it simply that they fear to be alone?
 If you give you're love it's freedom, it will stay awhile
 If it leaves you, it was never yours to own

 "I could have found adventure" said the angelfish
 "Now my world's so small there's nowhere left to go."
 "I could have ruled a kingdom" said the lion
 "Now this land inside my head is all I know."

 "I think I heard them tell me that they loved me
 That they'd care for me, and tell me it's alright
 But what's the use of life without adventure?
 What's the use of strength if you can't fight?"

 Why do people cage the things they love the most?
 Is it simply that they fear to be alone?
 If you give you're love it's freedom, it will stay awhile
 If it leaves you, it was never yours to own

 "I know I heard them tell me that they loved me
 That they'd care for me, without them I would die

 But what's the use of roots if you can't spread them?
 What's the use of wings if you can't fly?"

Another thing I often liken myself to is that of is a caged animal.  We have got a lot more understanding these days of the results of putting animals into unnatural environments.  The animal when caged does not behave naturally.  It paces around, is obviously distressed and can get very bad tempered.  If animals must be held in captivity (and I do accept that a lot of zoological gardens do a good job in conservation such as Chester and Whipsnade) then the environment should create conditions that are as near as possible to the conditions they would find in their own natural homes.

Yet we treat people in this manner and expect them to behave rationally and normally.by neurotypical standards.  The work environment in  by my case seems like a cage.  I do not feel as if I can act naturally and this obviously has repercussions both on me and others.  The whole structure of a work environment is unnatural.  It has come about from the need to control others.  I know I am totally unmanageable, that I work better when left to my own devices, that if I am given an objective rather than an instruction I will work far better.  But this does not fit in with the neurotylipical world.

I totally agree with your statement regarding the demands of modern society......everything seems to needed to completed immediately...that societal urge for immediacy is potentially damaging and squeezes out opportunity for reflection.....and coercively demands that we perform to the same drum beat even though it totally negates the fact that we all engage and process the word in different ways.....it also demeans and disregards that other work strategies can be just as effective, if not more so.

we race from one demand and experience to another..,and then crumble like a human buckeroo.