Newly diagnosed at 53

Hi 

I received my fisgnidis of ASD1 on Thursday and it was such a relief after years of feeling like I don't quite fit in to know why, I'm still feeling a but numb. I hope your diagnosis really helps and it's great to be able to connect with other people who have been through the same things for so many years.

Hello.

Be aware it is a slow process finding yourself. Nothing huge changes, you don't become unrecognisable, but your perception and priorities change. Once you are comfortable with yourself the stress reduces, the ability to be calm improves, and thinking widens.

You stopping trying to be yourself, and just are yourself.

It can take 1-3 years. I didn't know this at the start.

It is not a linear journey. There may be ups and downs, you may have periods of doubt . Pushing too hard too early pulls you back because you lose confidence and become less calm and more frustrated.

Being kinder to yourself and a little bit happier prioritising yourself is the root of it. 

Hi and welcome to the community. I'm a woman in my mid sixties, retired, and I enjoy reading and playing video games.

Oooh that sounds just right

Thank you and bless you! Managing our mood is so difficult isnt it? I have been struggling with despression and breakdowns all my life, last year I totally broke and couldn't continue to work... I had several mental health professionals involved and all advised I should be assessed for Autism. I knew I was on the spectrum but tried my hardest to overcome my difficulties and failed miserably!

We have so much to deal with when getting a late diagnosis, its a lot! 

Good to know you have met others you can be yourself around, I've masked for so many years I just want to be free now, free to be me! Like you I aim to one day join a local group, my doctors surgery have me information last week about a local autism group and they also provide for sensory needs which I will look forward to one day. 

Right now im digesting, crying etc and coming to terms with at last I am seen for being me, no mask just me!

Thank you for your response and indeed it was a big move, i dont have any attachments to people up where i grew up and lived, I dont care for people in general including family members. I have my children and grandchildren and have my own little space. I rent an annexe from a lovely family, have my own entrance on to the property and see no one if i choose, which is just how I like it! 

HiMimiLexis and welcome  

Congratulations on your diagnosis, I understand that it can feel overwhelming and bittersweet. 

I hope you are settling in after such a big move, that’s a lot to deal with for anyone.

Wishing you well 

Hi,  I was also 53 when I my diagnosis came about, it was honestly a relief, albeit a bit short lived, the autistic grief/anger thing came in hard and took some shaking.

I was also diagnosed with ADHD-i 8 months after that. I suppose they'd been keeping each other in check to some degree or other. I'd always felt out of place. It was like I didn't belong and the people close to me weren't really friends or family in an emotional sense, they were just people I was familiar with. (I still struggle hugely with this) 

I have two adult kids, one is autistic and the other is trans, as they grew older I began to recognise some of their behaviours in myself. I suppose if you don't know that you're different until it's pointed out or you make that leap yourself.

I've struggled with my mood for as long as I can remember and it wasn't until I was 50 that someone made the suggestion that my TRD could be rooted in undiagnosed neurodivergence.

I've recently joined my local autism peer support group, it just feels so freeing being able to discuss thoughts and feelings without feeling like a freak (for want of a better word).

Anyway, welcome. I hope you find your place in the world, hopefully I'll also find mine.

Thank you!

Welcome

Yes it is a shock, that diagnosis confirmation hits hard! I do hope so and thank you! 

Thank you and indeed it is!

Thank you and we'll done getting your diagnosis, it sure explains a lot!

What a lovely accepting family you all are, it's so nice after supporting your children and grandchildren, you get the recognition you deserve too! It's funny that even though you knew yourself, it can still be a shock to hear a professional recognising it in you too. I think it's so emotional as you've had to carry it yourself for so long, I hope you can live more freely now!

Welcome.  I finally got my diagnosis at 57.  Looking back, a lot of struggles and lack of understanding behind. Can't yet see the possibility of not trying to fit in in some context.

Hi MimiLexis 

Welcome to the community!

Diagnosis can be a lot to take onboard.  Glad you are here.

Thank you for your response. Indeed it is a very emotional time... it has helped having professionals finally see over the last year that I am showing signs of being neurodiverse. A mental health lady met for the first time earlier this week said have I been assessed for Autism, before I was able to tell her im currently under Psychiatry UK. 

My adult son with Aspergers said my diagnosis today is amazing and eldest said finally they recognise i am on the spectrum, bless em! My children and grandchildren are all I need and finally I will have a report explaining my difficulties, that are real! The Psychiatrist said you cant have a sticker on your head saying please be gentle with me I have Autism... but she would hope my diagnosis would help improve my quality of life. 

It sure helps when someone helps us, my mental health practitioner agreed with me last year that I should be assessed for Autism and its so strong in my immediate family too. I knew I was different, I felt different all my life and my struggles were the same through the years with different people. I cried at all my jobs, brought to tears and stress because I just couldn't cope in them environments.

Its sad to think so many of us have gone through this. My granddaughter is non verbal and she is the most wonderful little girl. Her experience has been fab, nursery school helped my son and wife access all the help she needed and is now thriving in special school. Yes life is hard for her parents, as it was for me when my son was growing up due to his very difficult behaviour but we have eachother. We all understand eachother and that is what matters, some family dont understand but that's not our problem. We are happy in our world, where we feel safe and can truly be who we are.

I was 30, so it was about four to five years ago. I almost didn’t get the referral because everyone thought it was just ADHD, but thankfully my therapist thought it was at least worth checking into.

I’m sorry to hear that they looked into it when you were four and it took so long for it to be revisited. Our understanding of Autism has definitely different back then.

Welcome to the community MimiLexis!

Congrats on your diagnosis and finally getting recognised after all these years. It can be liberating to discover you were always autistic and all the things you struggle with have a word to describe it. I hope it gives you self forgiveness for all those hard times you describe. It's funny also when you realise it does run in families and you can see it in them too, but I hope also better able to connect with them through shared experience.

Lovely to have you here, it can take a while for all the emotions to settle, do take it extra easy on yourself!