Have any women found underwear that is comfortable? Has anyone tried the briefs that are short style, and are they better than the higher leg ones?
Have any women found underwear that is comfortable? Has anyone tried the briefs that are short style, and are they better than the higher leg ones?
Thanks everyone for your replies. As Cinnabar_wing said, with our different sensitivities we may all prefer different styles of underwear, although I was surprised at this one:
My girlfriend wears high waist thongs. She says they are very comfy..
Those are the most uncomfortable I have ever tried! Is she autistic? Are there any autistic women reading this who find thongs comfortable?
Thanks, Lotus, that was the type of bra that they said was right for me and that I bought, it has vertical wires just to the side of the cup
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe because the wired bit is only at the side, not under the cup, they think they can get away with calling them "non wired" but it's terrible mis-selling in my opinion. What a disappointment. Also, I have never heard that you're supposed to replace bras every 3 months!? I would expect them to last a couple of years at least.
Yeah, the shops are only there now so you can go pick up your online order to save on their delivery fees. I had to buy some in varying sizes and just try them at home and see what felt right. I did get measured when pregnant and when my first was nine months and I realised I was going to keep feeding as the bras I had didn't fit at all (I think I could do it then as it was in the things you do when your pregnant). The idea of asking for a fitting is too much for me now so guessing at home is my only option anyway.
Women have the same problems with the rise in trousers, I often find they're not big enough for me, I'm naturally quite high waisted, I've tried on trousers of such varying sizes that they wear me rather than the other way round. To get something that will do up when standing means that when I sit down, the front waist tries to eat my boobs whilst the back slides under my bum, whilst still held on at some point in the middle. Needless to say I don't buy them, no one needs a camel's toe either. One of my big bug bears is when making longer length trousers that have a cut or fit, like bootleg, is that the knee of the garment is above my knee which makes the whole thing not fit. It's the same with bust darts in tops and dresses.
There are places I just won't buy clothes from anymore anything Chinese is a no as far as I'm concerned, I don't know who they're making the clothes for, but they're probably not human!
I wish I could get to grips with a sewing machine and make my own, but sewing machines hate me and I can't hand sew anymore. Another problem is were to get fabrics from? The range is so small these days, I remember huge sewing dept's in shops, loads of different colours and types of fabric, different weights etc. But now it all seems to be fabrics that would be good for patchwork not clothes.
I spent many years trying to find a genuinely comfortable bra before eventually realising that (for me) no such thing exists. So I ditched them. I think I’m fortunate in that I’m a petite person all round - I totally understand that for women more ‘well endowed’ in that respect they need support. But ultimately we didn’t evolve to wear bras did we?! And as you get older things do change - so I try to be at peace with that and accept it. I’m not going to allow today’s weird standards that seem to require older women to look like younger women dictate to me. I’m happily married and my husband likes the way I look which is lovely - and I don’t care what anyone else thinks quite frankly. I do however sometimes wear scarves and waistcoats for a bit of ‘coverage’ (and I like scarves and waistcoats anyway so that’s no hardship). Being comfortable is a top priority for me.
One of the things I noticed was that in the mens wear dept they had a full range of trouser lengths and jacket types and sizes, so it would seem that it's women who're expected to shop online?
If only it was as simple as waist size and leg length.
There is a variability in the waist to crotch length and I find the majority of dress trousers are cut too high for me, resulting in them being very snug at the crotch and showing way more of my downstairs crowd than is decent, so I need to try on loads to find one with enough breathing space.
Once I find a brand that works and is durable I will often buy half a dozen so I have spares.
Over time the same brands change their cut too as they change factories - I have seen that a lot with the manufacturing I oversee - different countries have different understandings of the "standards" or techniques of sewing that use more of the seam allowance resulting in a slightly different fit.
Part of my job is to take one of each, unpick the stitching and check them against the patterns I made & graded to make sure they are doing the job properly.
I'm guessing the high volume / disposable fashion manufacturers are not bothering to do this.
Thanks, Lotus, that was the type of bra that they said was right for me and that I bought, it has vertical wires just to the side of the cup which dug in under my arm pit particularly when driving and into my rib, it also bent. Apparently those wires don't count, I was sold it as non wired, it was picked by the assistant for me as unwired.
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Thongs, otherwise known as bumfloss!
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I breast fed too and it does change the shape of your breasts. One of the things I found out from the programe I mentioned above is that bra manufacturers don't take this into account, they model all thier sizes and shapes on young women, which dosen't take into account the changes brought about by age and breast feeding, even being pregnant and not breast feeding will change your breasts. Which is probably why we end up with the horror of being expected to wear a Triumph Doreen which feels more like a medical truss than an item of every day clothing, they're also what we used to call granny bras. I will never be old enough to wear a triumph doreen.
I'm not interested in attracting sexual attention either, but it seems we're not allowed to be comfortable!
I don't wear make-up, I'm allergic to most of it and I have naturally long eyelashes and mascarar makes me look like I squashed spiders into my eyes.
When I went into Next to try and find something from their large range of bras, I was told that they only carry a small range instore because they're examples and that I should buy online. I asked what the point of them having a shop at all was? One of the things I noticed was that in the mens wear dept they had a full range of trouser lengths and jacket types and sizes, so it would seem that it's women who're expected to shop online?
My girlfriend wears high waist thongs. She says they are very comfy.. They also have the advantage of no VPL round the back. I must admit I would probably be uncomfortable with something in the crease of my bum, But I am not wearing them.
There is one other nicety… when she is wearing a dress it feels as if she is "going commando"..
Oh you are actually 100% right on other women being critical of other women. But I suppose I didn't think of that as I only intermittently wear make up and have no interest in fashion. (my joy at the moment is wearing tops that have natural history identification on them like UK bat species.)
And yes, you'll find the correlation of longer term breastfeeding and those countries that don't sexulise breast are higher. In that way society has given women shame over something that is natural, which is rather sad.
(I think I got that slightly different to your point, but I think the idea still stands somewhere in there.)
I wear knickers from M&S that are shorts style but I get the biggest size in the girls range. They are much more modestly cut at the back than women's shorts so they actually fully cover my bum instead of giving me wedgies. They're probably an equivalent of a women's size 12
But shape is just so men can look at you
I found most of the criticisms over shape of other women came from women themselves - especially ones that liked to put others down so they could feel good about themselves.
I agree men will look, typically with sexual interest and that is something that society needs to find a way to change out values to stop it.
Other cultures (thinking less Westernised ones) don't sexualise breasts the same way. I've visited villages in Indonesia and Brazil where this is not done so it is not something inherent - rather something learned.
I have non wire ones I got at Next. I've not had wired bras since I was pregnant, and don't intend to go back. Since I breast fed for 6 years, shape was the least of my worries over feeding my little ones. I'm small though so it's not much of an issue.
But shape is just so men can look at you, and I'd rather not, I have a husband so I'm happy as I am with comfort.
I don't really care about appearance, I want to be comfortable, I can no longer have underwires as surgery has distorted my shape a bit and the wires dig in. None of it is helped by the fact that bras in my size are so expensive, often the £40+ bracket and to have say 4 of these to account for washing etc is getting on towards £200 and they recomend you should replace them every 3 months, I just don't have that sort of money and I resent paying that sort of money to be uncomfortable. When I was measured although my rib cage measures 37 inches they say I'm a 42, and an F cup, they tried a 44 with a smaller cup size and I fell out of the bottom of it. I have narrow shoulders too which dosen't help when all the styles are for women with wider shoulders, the cups are the wrong shape for me in many bra's and I don't fill the bottom of the cup and spill over the top and sides. Wider straps, of course, if only you could get bra's with wider straps and in what universe do I want padding to make me look bigger?
I still think it's wrong that women should have to train thier bodies to accept an item of clothing. Bra construction hasn't changed sinse the 1940's, I remember a tv program a few years ago where a couple of engineers tried to reinvent common items to make them work better, I think about the only one they failed on was a bra, M&S did make them for a while, but they were even more uncomfortable than normal ones. One of the things they said was that it makes no sense to have so much weight on two wires and two shoulder straps.
Surely clothes should fit the body not the other way around?
Sorry if this comes across as mansplaining but I studied this when I worked studied corsetry to help my wifes fashion business.
The breasts are likely to sag without proper support and this is what most bras try to achieve. Depending on your type of movement the support needs also vary, hence sports bras will be ultra restrictive to stop the "girls" from moving about too much and stretching the connective tissue & skin.
If you just hold breasts in their natural position once they start to sag then any movement that stretches then will compund the sagging, so they should ideally be supported in a position higher than their default.
Underwiring provides most of the support for these because it establishes a shelf for the material to start from and provides a safety net for want of a better term. It can be uncomfortable but for those with larger breasts then they will need something else to replace the underwiring mechanism to do this - something like a tight elastic band.
Avoiding these options means you are likely to have the sagging continue to happen. This is the trade off of the discomfort.
If any garment that is tight and restrictive is too much then it is unlikely you will find much that really works for you in this departmen and that holds your breasts in roughly the place where you want them to be for a normal sillouette.
For larger sizes you will also need wider straps to spread the load on your shoulders - this is just physics as the narrower they are the more they will cut in.
It was educational for me to find out about the range of issues women face in this field for comfort, style and practicality plus how much they suffer in the name of maintaining an image. All that said, a good designer can make something that works for most sizes and shapes but there is almost always a price to pay comfort wise to achieve a shape other than that which nature has given you.
Hi Cat woman, I didn't know that Tesco sold underwear. I found some shorts style knickers in Primark today for £3.50 so I'm going to try those out. I don't know why they're called shorts though, they just look like big pants with a lower cut leg hole.
I sympathise with your bra issues. I wish that I was smaller and could wear those soft bralets, but at least I can get those cotton bra 3 packs in my size. I have found a cotton mix bra on the M&S website that is non wired and non padded in bigger sizes - I haven't tried it myself, but it seems to have mostly positive reviews. I don't know if you have seen this one, or maybe already tried it?
I wear big nickers from tesco's F&F range, they're comfy and cotton, maybe with a bit of nice lace around the front waist.
M&S dont' do those bras in my size, oddly enough I was thinking about starting a thread on bra's in particular, being a bit large in that dept they all seem to be more like scafolding than underwear. I went to M&S for a fitting last year and althgouh I asked for something with no wirews or bones in, I ended up with one with no underwires, but it had bones in the sides which I didn't know about until I tried sitting normally or driving when they dug into my ribs. Iwas told by the fitter that they dont' consider the sort of bra I normally wear as a proper bra, because it's a comfort bra and that I'd need to train by breasts to accept a proper bra again. I thought WTF? Surely clothes should fit the body not the other way around? I'm sure there must be alternatives to bras, but I dont' know what they are, apart from corsets? I have worn a corset and found them comfortable when standing, but not when sitting. I have problems getting anything like that long enough in the body anyway. I still wear my cheap and cheerful nylon comfort bras, they're the only things I can get to fit both properly and comfortably.
I have a pigeons breast and sparrows ankles and find socks are too tight around the ankles and cut into me, they never used to, the only thing I can come up with is that so much stuff is made in China.
I also.would like a bit more coverage now I'm getting older, and was thinking of this type they sell in Primark:
I only wear cotton as I have sensitive skin and hate nylon and satiny fabric. I think I need to go up a size for comfort.
I have got some comfy bras now - they're m&s soft cotton ones in packs of 3, not wired or padded. The most comfortable I've ever worn.
I try to remind myself that my stretch marks are the scars of the amazing miracle of giving birth to my beautiful children. Having said that I do cover them up! I was never one for showing my body anyway though - so it doesn’t make much difference in that sense :)
My wife (while not autistic does have very sensitive skin) rates the Under The Sea brand of invisible undies if you want the no VPL look.
They are really good for under tight leggings for a workout or a run as they don't bunch up in places they shouldn't.
It may feel odd on the skin as they are not like the usual cotton or polyester blend items so it is worth experimenting in case different = bad for you.
For everyday, round the house type wear it is hard to beat cotton though - different brands have different fits so it takes a little trial and error to find what works for you and the type of clothes you wear.
What do you regularly wear? If you are a skirt wearer then French knickers may work well, tight jeans work well with the cotton undies while tight trousers often work best with no VPL options. Looser clothing can work well with boy shorts etc etc.
The boy shorts type of knickers do have a tendency to bunch up around the crotch with certain body shapes to trial and error is recommended.
If it only the bottoms you are interested in?
You can tell I spent too much time working in womens fashion...
