Struggle to sleep after busy day around others

I never get to sleep before midnight, even if I have to get up really early the next day, I've always been like that, I've always thought it's better to have less, good quality sleep and a lot of poor quality sleep, lots of good quality sleep is the best though. These days I always try and arrange appt's for the afternoon, if I have to have one in the morning, I get sort of stress insomnia, where I worry about getting to sleep so much that I dont' go to sleep until really late by my standards.

Sleep is the only escape if you can obtain it! 

It’s a real bad habit, sometimes I wish I could slow my mind down a little rather than imagine 1000 different scenarios 

Last night I just couldn’t shut off, I should have been tired but I wasn’t feeling it. I wanted so badly to feel drained and that’s an odd thing to want but at night when you’ve had a long day and you aren’t getting enjoyment or any dopamine hits any longer you know it’s time to shut eye but I stayed awake till almost midnight before passing out. 

I've been a PA too on and off :) It's particularly challenging for autism, I think.

Totally relate. In my case, it's not so much replaying things in my head, but just feeling drained after masking all day, and hiding my irritation. When I was working full time before it was sad because I wouldn't want to talk to anyone in the evening (the job was particularly demanding and crammed with superficialities). I'd want to just unwind before bed, but my daughter would come in for a chat and I didn't want to turn her down. If a teenager does that, you grab the win.

It definitely is, delayed mental processing for sure, it’s carrying it around all day then setting it down at night which isn’t the best time of day 

It’s exhausting and time consuming just trying to ease your mind and convince yourself all is well or that no one’s upset or annoyed at you for anything you’ve done. I had a thought just now that for me I think some of this stems from feelings of injustice I’ve felt when others have said something I consider blunt and rude or said in such a way that didn’t warrant it. I’m quite easy going as long as others show respect but I always remember the name and face of those who’ve burnt me. 

This is me too. I work as a personal assistant and am around colleagues all day and at the time I feel like I did well but then after work when I'm on my own I over-think everything! I run over everything in my head, did I do that right? Should I have done this instead? Did I answer my boss correctly? Was she expecting more from me?

It can be overwhelming when my head goes into overdrive like this and it affects my sleeping as well and I really wish it wouldn't as I'm tired again an hour after waking up in the morning.

I wish I had the answers how not to do this but I hope you feel a little better knowing you're not the only one who does this.

Hugs.

Yes, I have this. As much as it's nice to shut the door and get some peace, I need a lot of time to decompress before sleep is possible after a lot of time with others. I usually don't have issues getting to sleep initially but I do wake up very early and my brain is very active, which makes it difficult to get back to sleep. I replay conversations endlessly and worry that I said the wrong thing.

Stuart333 said:

excessive focus and replaying is part of masking and scripting.

What part is the masking you are referring to? The checking that I was behaving within my own perceived version of societal expectations?

Quality of sleep was one of the things that the Clinical Psychologist noted about me about last year, and this was mentioned in the assessment medical report. I read somewhere that at night, autistic people’s brains can be more active causing sleep problems. The link has information about sleep for neurodiverse diverse people, along with further links to resources that may be helpful.
https://www.nottsapc.nhs.uk/media/w4ydkpqq/sleeping-well-with-autism-and-adhd.pdf

I find it's a bit like mental indigestion, if I've been around a lot of people or even one chatterbox, I have to take time to digest the day, to sort it all out in my head and put it away

There’s a lot of replaying and trying to recall smaller details as if I’m watching a video play out and trying to double check that I behaved in an acceptable or normal manner. Are these people sitting at home cussing me out or thinking “what an idiot!” 

I’m pleased it’s common (not for the people who may experience this way of thinking and feeling) but in a way that I take some comfort in knowing there are those out there who have been or are in the same boat. 

That’s pretty much me, although being retired, the running over conversations doesn’t happen so much now as I tend to talk mostly to people I know and trust. I could never understand why all the rush of everything that needed my mental attention suddenly manifested itself at bedtime. I tried setting an hour for thinking about such things earlier in the evening, but it only very occasionally worked.

That happens to me too.

1. This is something I do most days and one of the reasons that sobriety is so hard! Despite things seemingly going well most of the time, I have sleepless nights at times or wake up at 3/4 feeling anxious and stressed, replaying conversations and thinking about interactions. Me and my partner were talking about it the other day and concluded that we need time to deregulate and 5 days at a job on site each week is too much. We are both seeking part time work/hybrid/remote. It may not help entirely with the overthinking aspect but at least you have time to look after your mental wellbeing.
2.  That being said, sometimes life isn’t ideal and strategies to manage these tendencies will help. I do breath work exercises that help bring me back to the present moment and often help me stop the over thinking. It really helps a lot! Masking is exhausting and although a lot of my best thoughts come from reflection, there is a point where it becomes damaging! If you’re interested check out breathe with Sandy on YouTube! 
3. Last but not least- journaling helps as well. It helps me create a process and eases the burden on my overthinking and mind. 

I totally get this.

I often feel wired after being around people, and all the over-thinking hits at bedtime.

It usually eases after sleep, but it can feel overwhelming in the moment.

When was younger I did it a lot. When I had a partner it was even worse and could take up hours a day.

A small amount is normal I think. It is how you learn. Everyone has embarrassing moments or things that went wrong they want to avoid repeating.

But excessive focus and replaying is part of masking and scripting.