Autism and Holidays

I have and every time I end up having some kind of meltdown! But this is the first since my diagnosis so I do feel a little more prepared and know more about my needs to try and prevent this!

These are great ideas thank you!

This is some really good advice thank you. I feel like I need to start being less worried about pleasing everyone and do what I need to do!

That's a good idea actually I'll maybe get someone to come with me over the first few days to scout out some possible safe areas. They do know I am autistic, I just sometimes struggle to ask for alone time and I feel rude kicking people out the cabin for me!

Staying on the ship is a good idea actually. I feel like the only thing is I might get a bit of FOMO if I don't get off! 

Aw thanks for sharing, I'm glad you tend to feel a bit better once you arrive. Best of luck for your recovery moving forwards <3

I find the build up to holidays very stressful. If I actually manage to book one, I get more anxious as it gets closer. In the week leading up to going away I want to cancel it. Then hardly sleep the night before.

Yet once at the airport and through security I relax. I guess it is the transition and the worry of being late and missing the flight. Fixed deadlines knot up my stomach.

I then like the holiday and say I must do it more often, then wait for 5 years or more to go again. Have only had 2 holidays in 15 years

I don't really understand it as before that I had flown on business a dozen times a year or more for 15 years, but it was stressful.

I think the holidays remind me of my ex-partner and some trauma. I really have to resolve all this buried stuff somehow, this is the next plan.

Snap, I'm on a cruse in August and I am really looking forward to it. Having previously experienced cruise I know that their are place that do give you piece and quite, library for example. There are also lots of crew members always willing to help. 

When in port you do not need to disembark the ship, you can remain on board. For me doing so it the best thing as most other leaves the ship and the whole boat is peaceful. 

Try not to get too anxious in advance because I am sure you will have a lovely time.

Can you check if the ship has any quiet places, like a library or chapel or a less used deck. It might be good to have escape places where you can go rest. Also do the people you are sharing with know you're autistic? would they be offended if you just wanted to be alone for a bit.... 3 people on a holiday is great cos you cna be alone without making the other person be alone 

Have you been on a cruise before?

Ditto! and it is only because I am currently at this moment not a wreck that I will just mention gibbering is spelt with a 'g' 

It always helps me a lot to set expectations before travelling. It's a holiday, so we (the family members) each get to do what we want/need to do without pressure to do the same as everyone else all the time. I don't like crowds and noise much, so my wife and I often allocate one day where we will split up and do our own thing: she goes shopping (and loves it) and I go to museums and galleries (and love it). We meet up again in the evening and compare notes. On the other days we'll see the sights together, or just chillax and people-watch. So, do some of your own things and do some shared things.

Perhaps avoid getting "trapped" doing things you are not comfortable doing. Do give them a try, if you think you might like them, but agree in advance that if you give the signal, that you're going to make your own way back to your cabin to recharge and that everyone else should continue on and not worry about you, as you'll be fine. I find the option to escape takes a lot of stress out of the situation.

I imagine that if you're on a cruise and in port that the ship might be quieter during the day. Maybe that's your time to explore the ship while other members of your family explore the town/city. Maybe you'll find a nice quiet spot on the deck that you can call your own for the trip. It might also be quieter at night on the deck (I dunno, as I've never been on a cruise).

Maybe you can get food sent (or smuggled) to your cabin. I'm a bit of a foodie, so I do like eating out, but I normally need a couple of days to recharge after dining in a busy restaurant. I couldn't do it every night. I often tell my family to go out and enjoy themselves and not worry that I'm sitting "home alone" watching TV or reading a book, I'll join them another night. I'm happier that way and there's no need for them not to do their own thing.

In short, it's your holiday, too, so do your holiday your way and have fun.

MJJ24 said:

I am most worried probably about the business on and off the ships considering its school holidays.

If you are comfortable using ear plugs / active noise cancelling headphones / ear defenders (which can be the least expensive option) - those might help tone down the school holidays hubbub a bit.

You could combine the above with a baseball cap and sunglasses to manage how you experience changes in lighting too.

I know they are quite daunting, which is why I try to be as prepared as possible! And to be honest since I have recieved my diagnosis and been learning more about myself and my needs I probably won't be in any rush to book another. I feel im more suited to a nice cottage or something in the countryside with the doggies!

Thanks thats really helpful advice! I feel at this point I am going more for my family rather than me but still a good thing to think about!

Put your phone on record and Ask yourself why you are going on holiday, answer it and save it.  When you get anxious or upset play it back to yourself.

Most importantly enjoy your holiday! 

I hate airports and the whole being close to people etc, Im immune deficient and take daily anti-biotics, Ive found the easiest way to deal with germs is to ignore it, take your necessary precaution's and accept the rest.  

You will have to navigate the stressful bits but reminding yourself why you are there might help. 

You're a braver person than me, just the thought of going on a cruise turns me into a jibbering wreck.