Make your little world a kinder place

I get really freaked out when strangers say "good morning" at me. I'm not expecting it and I sometimes don't react in time, or get the smiling bit wrong (eg a big beaming smile, or smiling for too long/not long enough, instead of the small, brief "acknowledge stranger" smile you're meant to use). It used to worry me, but now I've decided not to care, because they're a stranger so it doesn't matter if they think I'm a bit weird.

I do rehearse a few remarks about the weather and questions about plans for the weekend or compliments about clothing/hair etc if I'm going out. I can then use them on any shop assistant/bar staff/stranger-at-bus-stop who wants to do the small talk thing. Indulging the normies (NTs) in their quaint little rituals is being kind, right??

I'm not criticising.  I view your rehearsal of weather-related remarks as a self-defence mechanism, if anything - but I don't see it as a kindness to NT's.  Anyway, do they DESERVE our kindness?   Shouldn't it be the other way about?  

I don't think this is about necessarily having to speak to anyone (is it??) - more about seeing little things that are wrong, or are unjust and doing something to correct them if we can.  

UNLESS you have pity for these 'Normies' as you put it?  

overwhelmed & underwhelmed ( O & U ) said:

do they DESERVE our kindness

I think they do. We're never going to understand each other if we're not kind to each other. 
I used to have a bit of a "them and us" attitude with NT people but I don't know cos I found it was making me miss out on getting to know people who were actually nice

Iain said:

If we come across as confrontational and angry then we are not going to make them interested in finding out more though

Oh to have faith in human nature.

I was reading some posts on a local group.  Someone is running a Marathon for charity, and appealing for charity donations (for MIND)  The only responses are cynical (of the why should we help, it's not our problem variety).   Yet posts regarding overflowing wheelie bins and dog mess receive hundreds of comments. 

You can try to persuade the ignorant in dulcet tones, or see them in their true colours - the result will invariably be the same.

I'll be honest, Iain, I dabble in politics - so when an election comes around, I try to engage with people and persuade them that it may be a good thing to vote for the good of all rather than self-interest.  That concept doesn't tend to register.  I'll agree that the lack of PR doesn't help.  Sometimes, when you finally think you've made a breakthrough, they'll say 'all politicians are the same' and negate the whole conversation.  So many have a block when it comes to learning something new. 

Most people don't care about things that don't affect them.  If they don't have any experience of Autism in their lives, it tends not to matter.  My parents didn't believe in mental health conditions, because they never ventured down that path themselves - so when their children had different experiences, they were in denial.  

Does that make me 'belligerent?'  

I've had many years of trying to mask, to fit in to a NT world, and to explain and justify myself from a ND perspective.  I guess I've had enough, and I feel I've done my share.  Largely I've made no progress.  I've also felt a sense of relief by abandoning that course of action, because the burden to prove things is no longer there. 

If others want to keep trying to convert the unconvertable (as I see it) then go right ahead. 

Way I see it, I've put in those particular hard yards, and earned the right to be belligerent. 

Iain said:

If we come across as confrontational and angry then we are not going to make them interested in finding out more though

Oh to have faith in human nature.

I was reading some posts on a local group.  Someone is running a Marathon for charity, and appealing for charity donations (for MIND)  The only responses are cynical (of the why should we help, it's not our problem variety).   Yet posts regarding overflowing wheelie bins and dog mess receive hundreds of comments. 

You can try to persuade the ignorant in dulcet tones, or see them in their true colours - the result will invariably be the same.

I'll be honest, Iain, I dabble in politics - so when an election comes around, I try to engage with people and persuade them that it may be a good thing to vote for the good of all rather than self-interest.  That concept doesn't tend to register.  I'll agree that the lack of PR doesn't help.  Sometimes, when you finally think you've made a breakthrough, they'll say 'all politicians are the same' and negate the whole conversation.  So many have a block when it comes to learning something new. 

Most people don't care about things that don't affect them.  If they don't have any experience of Autism in their lives, it tends not to matter.  My parents didn't believe in mental health conditions, because they never ventured down that path themselves - so when their children had different experiences, they were in denial.  

Does that make me 'belligerent?'  

I've had many years of trying to mask, to fit in to a NT world, and to explain and justify myself from a ND perspective.  I guess I've had enough, and I feel I've done my share.  Largely I've made no progress.  I've also felt a sense of relief by abandoning that course of action, because the burden to prove things is no longer there. 

If others want to keep trying to convert the unconvertable (as I see it) then go right ahead. 

Way I see it, I've put in those particular hard yards, and earned the right to be belligerent.