Problem with my behaviour and body..

Hi,

I’m Nesmah from Yemen, and I’m 27 years old.

I was born a twin, but I’ve always felt different from everyone else. I developed a physical tremor when I was two years old, and I haven’t been able to stop it since. It hinders me, yet it’s also my only way of thinking, my world. Life in Yemen isn’t like the rest of the world; things here can be very difficult. As a child, because of the tremor, I was beaten frequently by my family, my mother, and at school. I also had trouble speaking, often swallowing half my words. I couldn’t even scream. I had no one, and in truth, I’ve been alone ever since.

Although my mother stopped beating me when I turned 22, she still gets angry with me because she wants me to be "normal."

I can’t walk like others; my feet don’t touch the ground properly. I also can’t hold a pen, and I hate using them. I’m always nervous and afraid, and I can’t let anyone hug or touch me.

When I cry, it only lasts for a second or two. I don’t feel much beyond anger, but I am smart. I’ve taught myself everything I know.

I don’t know how to walk properly or how to stop my body and head from shaking. I also don’t know how to stop the abuse I’ve faced. Sometimes, I feel like I might do something really bad, even though I don’t want to—because I’m terrified of going to jail