Published on 12, July, 2020
It seems impossible for me to trust women. This is not because of being jilted via having been cheated on, several broken relationships leaving me wonder what in the blue h*** I have done, standing on a train station platform, bewildered and consequently being depressed for months on end feeling unwanted, proceeding to then start losing weight again (I'm 18st, part belly, part muscle lol), fix myself up with new teeth and so on.It is more to do with the current political climate that I see all around me. Do I go up and talk to a woman and risk being jailed? Or do I smile from afar and risk being jailed? Or do I simply stay lonely? My mother was abusive, my late Grandmother, overprotective, social workers acting upon misandry and falsehoods, libel and the like since childhood.I would like a female companion long term some day, but I have already planned to grow old alone because that seems easier. However, since my diagnosis, I am open to perhaps asking for help before I am accused of misogyny again. I am not a misogynist, I just have trust issues since my recent break up and all I want, is a best friend forever, who will love me with all of my flaws, including my impressions, maybe play some Magic The Gathering of an evening, watch Jurassic Park, play some retro games, or just a simple snuggle up with some Rick & Morty and a Pizza now and again. Evening walks just as the sun is setting etc.Anyway, enough cringe from me. It would mean a lot to me if you ladies could help me change my perspective. I really do believe in love, accepting people for who they are, despite flaws, arguing then making up again with a cup of tea and perhaps a good laugh. I will embrace a female companion who is autistic as well as I think we may get on better together with our understanding, growing up and evolving our knowledge. You never know it could have a positive impact on the world.Someone to spend time with. As I said, enough cringe from me. Remember, female responses only. This is not a dating ad, more oversharing about my want to change and move on in life, with or without a best friend.Take care and thank you for taking the time to read this.
MrProblematic said:since my diagnosis, I am open to perhaps asking for help
Sorry: to hear how tough things have felt for you recently.
Pleased: to see you have reached out to the Community.
Hoping: you will continue to do so.
Even if asking for help might not be something you have been comfortable with / accustomed to before due to historic experiences; it is good to hear that you have been thinking differently about things - by using your Autism diagnosis to help give you the condidence to think about exploring different approaches towards your goals and moving forwards taking into account some of that new knowledge.
As a younger woman; I was once asked by a young man (while we were just acquaintances): "do you think we might have some things in common?". This really impressed me. Please note: he didn't ask me what I thought about his looks. People who establish long-term relationships often start by having shared hobbies / interests / outlooks on life / approaches to problem-solving.
I believe that people who, over time, become a trusted friend (or a life partner); are very likely to do so because they enjoy sharing your company while visiting places, sharing pastimes, or being of similar mind and emotion when working through life's challenges along the journey together.
In your post you started to list some of your interests - if I were in your situation: I would want to build upon that stable platform of interests and then be bold about finding those likely physical locations, venues and interest groups plus the equivalent internet sites where likeminded people might be encountered.
It also might be worth considering that: women often notice a LOT more about the people in their surroundings than they are likely to demonstrate at the time. You might need to be prepared for women to see you e.g. several / many times at a venue or attending an interest group / participating in an online group - before they were to feel comfortable about starting / joining a conversation with you.
Best wishes for your endeavour.