Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm recently diagnosed both adhd (in December) and autistic (3 weeks ago) and, while I can see my autistic traits as an adult, I really can't remember a huge amount in my childhood. I'm 49 so it's been a long time since I was even a teenager and my mum has been filling in a few things, but I really don't remember a lot. I remember social stuff, like only having a small group of friends and preferring to be in the library rather than out in a huge group, but I don't remember how anything made me feel. Like I don't remember any sensory issues or meltdowns or anything like that. My mum says I was quite an anxious kid and I would get upset about odd things, but I really don't remember any of it. Anyone else late diagnosed and understand this? It's really frustrating when I'm trying to piece everything together.
I had no one to ask about my childhood. The only thing I remember was being controlled by a so called best friend in that not being allowed my own friends but always felt an outsider.
Do not worry about not remembering you have been diagnosed that is all that matters. Once the grief phase passes you will start to move forwards.
Some people remember little and some loads, I remember almost to much, but what gets to me is when therapists and people ask for a memory and I giv them one, like a group of slightly older girls, refering to me as 'the weird girl', they ask me why that was. How on earth would I know? It's them that need to answer that question not me, similarly I've been asked questions about the actions of my parents, when I was a child, I don't know, why should my childhood self know the motivations of adults?
I have no childhood friends or family other than my Mum to ask and my Mum remembers so little.
The only 'slighter older girls' i can remember from childhood wore kappa, and were promiscuous and gobby