Published on 12, July, 2020
During my autism assessment, the psychiatrist said that although my autism affects many aspects of my life, I was still able to communicate to her well and therefore only had it “mild”. I understand that I have low support needs and that other autistic people have different or more extreme struggles and need more support, but I was masking a lot in the assessment in order to answer the questions as clearly as possible, which completely exhausted me and impacted how I felt over the next couple of days. As Keedie said in the TV show “A kind of spark”, her autism only seems mild because ‘we make it so, at a great personal cost’. Autism has a huge impact on my life, even if no one else can see it, and especially if I’m purposefully changing my behaviour to fit in or adapt to other people. Just because it seems mild to you doesn’t mean it actually is to me. I feel like this is why the terms “high functioning” and “low functioning” are being used less in favour of “support needs” which I feel is more accurate and less diminishing of autistic people’s struggles. I’d be interested to know other people’s opinions too as I know some people don’t mind the word “mild”!
Bunny said:Aimée has already answered your question, within the very sentence that you quoted.
Not quite - I asked if it was self sabotage that led them to do this and acknowledged her doing it as being ironic.
Bunny said:if I were in Aimée's shoes, I would find them insensitive, disrespectful, critical, patronising, and upsetting.
I'll let Aimee tell me if this is the case. They are clearly intelligent with acknowledged low support needs so I believe they can speak for herself. I will apologise if they have been offended.
Bunny said:Perhaps you're unaware of how your question and comments might come across
I do understand my method of communication is often blunt but it is my form of expression and believe in being authentic in how I communicate.
As for giving a compassionate approach - there are plenty here who will do this and empathise, offering words of support and positivity.
My approach is to look at the nuts and bolts of the problem, identify if there is something specific being asked (in this case it was my opinion which I shared) and if there is a learning opportunity to be had (hence the discussion on self sabotage).
I believe there is a place for this sort of brass tacks approach and it is one I appreciate whenever discussing things online.
We all have different needs, techniques and styles and I think the boards are better when we allow one another to express in our own, unique ways.
Similarly to Mark, I am not answering for Aimée. However, Aimée has already answered your question, within the very sentence that you quoted.
I, too, had to focus extremely hard during my assessment in order to ensure that I conveyed all of the factual information that I felt was relevant. The combined effort of preparing for and having my assessment left me feeling similarly exhausted.
Perhaps you're unaware of how your question and comments might come across, being more focused on structuring an analytical question borne out of your curiosity. But, if I were in Aimée's shoes, I would find them insensitive, disrespectful, critical, patronising, and upsetting.
Psychiatrists who carry out autism assessments have the experience and training required to recognise and see through our masking efforts - aided by the very information that Aimée, I, and I'm sure others need to work so hard to provide them with during our assessments.
As I was assured by the specialist nurse in the run up to my own assessment, we don't need to unmask for these psychiatrists. Nor is it realistic to expect that from autistic people during such a stressful situation - even for those who may already understand what masking is and in which ways they might typically do it.
I feel that a more compassionate approach is warranted towards new members who are also only recently diagnosed.
I'm not answering for Aimée, but i know what she (or they? Please tell us) means. For me it is not something that I can actually switch off. When getting assessed one probably has probably not even known about masking for long. I first heard the term this year. I can't just de-mask - I think it's going to be something that falls away brick by brick.
I think it depends on whether there's a 'compared to' element to it,or not. Person A may present as having 'milder' autism compared to person B, but that doesn't necessarily mean person A's autism is mild. I don't think I mask,or at least I'm not consciously aware that I do. With online participation my strengths are centre stage. Unless I explicitly say so, on a thread like this for example, I can come across as having low support needs. The actual reality? I'd struggle to maintain a healthy level of independent living without the support I get. My daughter officially acts as my carer.
Aimée said: I was masking a lot in the assessment in order to answer the questions as clearly as possible
Ironic that you were intentionally being as unautistic as possible in order to have your autism assessed.
Not a trick question but do you think this was self sabotage? Did you want to not be seen as autistic?
Sometimes it is subconcious and you may want to appear capable and in control or maybe autism holds a stigma.
I'm genuinely curious as this is something I have seen quite a few times and would like to understand the processes behind it to help others prepare effectively for their assessments and be seen without the masking that we feel we need to use
All the terminology around the diagnosis is a bit of an issue still - there are plenty of people who find some terms offensive or triggering and some want to keep old terminology (eg Aspergers) - it is all a bit of a mess still.
I agree with you 100% - and feel very upset on your behalf about that psychiatrist's inappropriate choice of words.
I don't know what I think yet. I agree with all that you say. "mild" means not bad, but I'm struggling. Apart from my wife who does make some allowances, it is always up to me to bridge the gap and it is so tiring. There will hopefully be better terminology one day.
I'd not heard of "A Kind of Spark" before. I've just looked it up. I'll recommend that my wife and I watch it together. Thanks!
Me too. I prefer to look at it as either autistic or not (after all your brain is either wired this way or it's not). Every autistic person is different, so the impact of this wiring is different depending on so many factors. It's like saying I have arthritis - there are different kinds, some are worsened by diet, some by activity, but we don't get into arguments about how severe the arthritis is.Yes, they separate osteo and rheumatoid for medical reasons, but that is more to do with the biological cause rather than the impact it has on your life. We don't argue about how much pain we are in because of arthritis... but for autism we seem to buy into the need to label things, which I resist. Some days I can integrate into society OK, other days I need to be home with no outside contact (phone/internet/etc.). I am not denying that I am different to someone who is unable to communicate verbally due to their autism - but that's what it is, it's a difference.
As a child I wasn't really 'allowed' to be myself, so I had to learn to provide what was expected. It did harm but it also did good, it has made me independent and determined to learn. I'm just not always sure my motives for doing things - am I just trying to fit in, or is this really what I think?
I think every human has the potential to achieve what they want, albeit maybe in a different form. I know I'm not going to be a ballerina, but I can enjoy watching ballet and drawing the scenes/figures.