Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm a teacher, a father and I am autistic.
I'm lucky to have my partner, as she has been my rock and we share a lot of interests, but some of my interests, I find incredibly difficult to relay to others full stop let alone her.
Some of my BIG interests include: Bionicle, Minecraft, classic Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon and MTG. I love nature, gardening is a growing interest of mine, and I'm a big gamer.
So what is the issue? As I've gotten older, I've become lonely. I'm unable to make friends or be social. I'm anxious and find most of my nights are filled with regret over the friends I havent made over the years. I used to have a best friend, but my trust has been shattered and I've found befriending people very difficult since then. This coupled with my social anxiety and ASD has made it near impossible to make friends. As time goes on I find myself becoming more and more lonely.
It's as if despite how lucky I am, I just can't find people to connect with or befriend.
Any advice anyone has would be appreciated. Anyone who wants to talk about anything, you're all welcome too.
Hi Adam.
Welcome!
It does sound very tough for you.
I am wondering if you could do a group thing like gardening with your wife? She may be able to rein you in and assist on the spot. I see you have children which may doing things together more difficult.
I don't have lots of advice because I am similar (but older and no children). I do have friends, but rarely see them.
It sounds like you need to make a choice - like tolerating your anxiety and getting out there, or giving in to you anxiety and staying lonely. If you do get out there remember that making friends takes a long time. Keep it casual and don't go all out with someone within weeks of any interest. Even neurotypical males find it tough to make close friends.
Thank you for the advice and empathy. I'm unsure what to do. I'm aware that I have some underlying trust issues too, so maybe I need to work on that before I even try to make friends.