Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello Everyone,
As someone with traits of ASD and several friendships with those who identify with ASD, I wanted to ask: I understand that some individuals with ASD may resonate with the term "Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria" (RSD), while others do not find it reflects their experience. It's important to note that RSD is not scientifically proven but is reported by some within the ASD community.
My question is: when does the line blur between a neurotypical person acting defensively and an ASD individual demonstrating what might be considered RSD? There's a danger in using such labels, especially when an ASD individual does not behave this way, yet others suggest they do. This misuse of the RSD label can be a form of control, which is concerning.
Have you observed or experienced situations where the RSD label was used inappropriately? How do you feel about the use of this term in the context of ASD, considering the diverse experiences within the community?
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I'd compare RSD to Attachment Theory.
The problem here is a bit complex due to how non-autistics are Socially 'wired'. One thing psychoanalysts noted first half of last century is that Autistics weren't creating Defence Mechanisms (or if so, they were poorly constructed). I think this is incredibly important, if not one of the very few fundamental differences that make one Autistic.
Defence Mechanisms are said to be how we become ourselves in the world and sort of encoded, like software (analogy) into being socially human. They are a big part of how Non-Autistics socialise and said to be linked to internal filtering (out incoming noise). They can get out of control as well. But they do the thing they say: create a force field to keep one emotionally withdrawn just enough to engage.
Everyone should be sensitive to rejection as an instinct. As children we are all likely to express this, and NT begin to learn - through social linguistics - to suppress instinctive feelings and start building Defence Mechanisms to work in a social world of hierarchy. No one enjoys exclusion. A basic need is human connexion. Even Self Determination Theory supports this as one of the 3 keys.
The question might come down to an issue of emotional investment and connexion or disconnection which would warrant an appropriate response if you're human or, even dog :) Autistics often need to learn that while we often sense-perceive with a greater vulnerability, other's don't. And we might feel a greater intimacy around others that needs conscious appropriation. Trust is always earned.
One step beyond all this, there is a discrete nature to all living matter in our physical world. We might pick up what others try to keep hidden. Neuroscience is learning that brainwaves can sync up! And I think RSD might occur here, where I can sense a powerful emotion or a collective 'vibe' and immediately infuse my own bias or even read it correctly, but default to a trauma-response, something reactionary rather than breathe through the moment and make the effort to infuse my strengths and principles into it. There's far more of what we don't know than what we believe we do.
Looking at RSD this way, and thinking about it like Attachment Theory, all 'rejection issues' can be worked through by becoming aware of myself and defaults, strengths and limits.
Last - I think this affects ADHD'rs much more than Autistics who have trouble reading NT social cues. I might say we have a bit of the Innocence is Bliss perspective as ADHD are catching all social nuances: unspoken judgements, expectations and such. And that sounds exhausting.