Published on 12, July, 2020
It's just mentally tough. I really have no one to talk to. I only have work colleagues, and that's it. It's a very sad situation being like this. I'm different to other people and i just can't accept i'll never make friends. It's missing out on life, this s*** is. I do deeply wish i could make friends - i long for more conmections,and having a few guys to hang out with would be great. I always am alone and it takes a toll on my psyche. I've wanted friends for years, but I've never been successful. At 20, should i accept i'll never make the friends and memories i want?
Many years ago, I had a Warhammer Fantasy player complaining to me because nobody wanted to be his friend, and he was clueless on why. I told him: "Maybe because you smell like rotting cheese?" He had a full meltdown and left the building. Months later, he thanked me because I was the only one that helped him to acknowledge and address his problem.
Probably, what you need is some honest feedback. Somebody must tell you what pushes people away. Maybe you have bad body odour or bad grooming? Maybe you speak too close to other people? If I were in you I would go to a therapist and tell them: "I need to know why people do not want to deal with me. Tell me the truth and do not be afraid to offend or traumatize me." Then, accept the ugly truth and work with it.
British people tend to have this obnoxious "politeness" that keeps them from addressing problems. Southern Europeans are more direct and confrontational.