When was the last time You really wished You could UNSEE something ?.....

I'm so very sorry you had to go through that. How awful. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me to reach out for a listening ear.

There's been many things in my life that I wish I could forget. Unfortunately though our brains tend to clearly remember terrible things and the trauma follows you and continues affecting you. I won't go in to details but the thing I wish I could forget is child abuse I endured. 

When I was younger and we were driving home there was a car accident where a motorcyclist had come off his bike. We pulled up close to see if he was ok, my mum used to be a nurse so started doing some first aid until the ambulance arrived. The guy's leg was really badly broken, part of his bone snapped and sticking out through his knee, blood all over... that's a sight I won't forget. 

I would say the other was when my childhood dog got put to sleep. Looking in his eyes it was like the spark/soul just completely left his body. I don't want to unsee it, but it's a moment I certainly won't forget. 

There are a lot of older folks in there, and child rape was a pretty common thing back then. It was just a normal fact of life, ask Jimmy Savile or Cyril Smith. I was lucky to get to adulthood with my ass intact, but I had some pretty close calls. It's a miracle if there are still some sane people in my generation. 

So many young men have no coping mechanism, once a relationship ends.

On Friday morning, at Ayr, I was waiting for the Wetherspoon's there to open. Then, a Chap from Belfast came and talked to me; he also waited for it to open. He said that he moved to Ayr, to live with his partner, and she ended up chucking him out. He was waiting for the 9 am coach to the ferry, and Belfast, I waited for the 1 pm one.

I also saw a domestic dispute, out in the road, one night; when living in Dun Laoghaire, during placement year (1999-2000) and ended up walking to the Garda Station to mention it.

So many of us were abused, as kids, including myself.

Growing up, I was very perverse and manipulative. Only my natural inhibition kept me from becoming a sex offender.

I came very close in my teens but ultimately made a pact with myself that i could not do it while my parents were still alive. I just couldn't do that to them. 

It is only painful for those who are left behind

Honestly that's one of the things that keeps me going. It's up in the air what would happen were my mum to die, but I would never want to put her through that grief.

The pain of people left behind sucks, but imagine the suffering someone has to be going through to be at that point. To demand someone suffers constantly so that you don't have to go through the pain of losing them can be selfish and cruel. 

I'm not sure I've really seen anything too bad. All my trauma is personal experience and nothing seen. I once saw a dead guy on the floor late night in a train station but it didn't affect me much thankfully. 

I haven't had counseling but it's something I will talk to a doctor about at some point. My main problem is I have health anxiety and it makes seeing doctors more difficult than it should be.

Am sorry Danny.
It sounds like a severe trauma to You.
If You still have flashbacks then maybe Your Subconcious mind needs to " un-repress " the
memory.
I don't mean to probe,but have You had counselling ? 
A repressed memory rears its head in ugly ways.

It is only painful for those who are left behind...........

Very true.

I'm sorry you witnessed such a tragedy.

There's been a few things I've seen which I wish I could unsee and forget completely. The worst for me was the day my sister was detained in hospital. She broke down in to pieces and was violent and screaming, so out of character for her. Watching her being taken away was awful and something I often remember and get flashbacks.

I was 12 years old, my 10 years old cousin exposed herself to me, spread legs and everything. Later I learned that she was hyper sexualized since her father molested her.

My aunt's dog, an older poodle with his face full of weeping cankers. My aunt refused to have him put down because it was a son to her. My family was quite fouled up, to be hones.

I wish I could scrub my brain clear. "What has been seen cannot be unseen", truly. 

youtu.be/yjuOKWQ8T3c