Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve had a good career at work, done well. But at the end of 2020 I crashed. Massive burnout. I’ve had a few extended absences since then because there were times when even showering in the morning used up all my spoons.
I’ve managed to do ten months now without an absence of more than a few days but every day is still a struggle and I always run out of energy.
I know the people who’ve known me for years must be wondering why I get so much less done now and the people that have joined the company more recently must think I’m just lazy. But they have no idea how much effort it takes just for me to get through the day.
Does it ever get better? Do people actually recover from burnout?
And how have you managed peoples’ perceptions of your lack of energy?
Hey, I literally could have written this. Except my big burnout was 2021 resulting in me being hospitalised. Everyday is a struggle. The littlest things that doesn’t seem to phase anyone else are such big things to me. I’m exhausted both physically and mentally. I keep thinking and saying I feel like I’m getting more and more autistic as time goes on, I’m sure people are massively questioning me and my performance at work. So, no, for me things have not got better overtime and I feel constantly in a state of awareness that I’m going to burnout again and feel myself constantly being pulled in that direction.
similarly like you it’s just my line manager and a few chosen colleagues that know about my diagnosis.
I don’t know what to suggest. As I say, I literally could have written this post myself!
I have just been awarded a request to reduce my hours for a three month period. I felt like I had no other option as felt myself leading towards burnout again and had no work/life balance, as I feel like work is just overtaking everything. Is something like that an option for you?
I think I probably just need to be really open with everything at work and be like this is me, this is what’s going on, this is what I am struggling with, and this is why I do what I do. But that’s big and scary and once you release it out there into the world you can’t just take it back!
I really hope you find something that works for you! If you do, let me know, would be keen to know! :)
I think I also need to be really open with everyone at work. It’s just a worry that there may be consequences. I also need to seriously consider a reduced work week. I’ve been struggling for three years something needs to change.
It’s amazing how life can just whack you over the head and change everything, isn’t it?
Yeah it’s a massive worry isn’t it. You don’t have any control over their response to the information and to you going forward. Maybe test it out with a few people first? Gauge their reaction and then see how you feel. I think with work there is so few things you have any control over. For me reducing my hours has given me that little sense of control and feels like I am making my own reasonable adjustments to try and do something to help myself. It’s worth thinking about if it’s an option for you. Or doing something like seeing if you can start later and finish later, or the opposite for whatever would work best for you.
life is crazy