Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
After being on a high in the last fortnight (after the revelation of being Autistic), I am now feeling very much deflated.
Having felt liberated, now reality has set in.
Amongst the positives of now understanding myself, and now giving myself permission to be me (to some extent), and no longer being ashamed to embrace the things that help me. I told myself that it was okay that I didn't want a partner. I now could justify it and not follow social convention.
But now, I feel sad. I've not had a relationship for more than 20 years. I was in an abusive relationship before that, and then life got complicated, and time has ticked on.
I'm having to be really honest with myself. I have RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) and I struggle with quite low self esteem.
How can I get passed this ? I'm in my fifties. I don't really want to be alone for the rest of my life
Any advice ?
Justbe said:I have RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria)
I have just looked this up.
It still surprises me how many things I've taken for granted in my life now have names eg. conditions etc.
You have set me wondering if I have this too.
I assume it holds you back from entering relationships?
Justbe said:I do want a relationship
I've had a chequered 'love life' and ended up in a permanent (hopefully) relationship in my mid 40s.
Married in my 50s.
There were very many years of my life when I was single.
There are lots of obstacles in us getting into relationships but I think a major one can be actually meeting people.
I met my now husband at work .
If people don't work, or if they work from home and don't have much of a social life, meeting someone can be very difficult.
I've known a few people who did meet a partner through dating agencies.
I tried that once and it wasn't for me.
So, I think that making sure you are meeting people is no. 1.
Perhaps via social clubs/shared interest clubs?
I wish you all the best with this.
I have just looked this up. It still surprises me how many things I've taken for granted in my life now have names eg. conditions etc. You have set me wondering if I have this too.
If you want to learn more about rejection sensitivity and understand if it resonates with you, this video might help:
https://www.youtube.com/live/bonc8qtj0y4?si=yTwG4CT1UzkDO7tn
I hope this helps!
If you prefer to learn through visuals/reading, this infographic might be helpful:
https://www.autisticality.co.uk/rsd-process
Many thanks.
You are welcome!