Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi my name is Rachel and I’m 32 and I have ASD. I am dating a guy who is 42 who is also on the spectrum but the issue is he has never had a girlfriend whereas I have been in a relationship twice before. My boyfriend really struggles being with me he has feelings for me and he wants to be in a relationship with me but he is so used to single life he struggles to accept that he is in relationship. He says he really not used to it and is afraid he won’t be able to cope. How can I reassure him that it will get easier and to help him with such a big change in his life? I know things can work out well between us he is such a great person but it’s just getting him used to being in a relationship with me sometimes causes issues. How can we both overcome this?
It may work, but it's not guaranteed to.
I was in a relationship with someone 30 years ago and we had 2 marriages arranged (with each other ) and lived together twice but it didn't work out.
We went to Relate for counselling too and that's when we decided to split up.
Communication between us was very hard.
He found/finds it very difficult to be with someone for any length of time, let alone live together in the same house, no matter how much he loves them and there was a huge difficulty with change.
We brought a house together and the change from his old circumstances caused him great stress.
I did my best to accommodate his needs such as leaving him alone for an hour after work and him having rooms just for himself ie his separate refuge.
We have now been friends for 28 years and he is still single although what he considers his most successful relationship was with someone who lives abroad (telling I think).
He was diagnosed with autism around a decade ago, me 16 months ago.
I wish you all the very best.