Connections

I have been reading the book ADHD 2.0 and some of things in it have been very thoughtful. I thought I would post them here.

First, when you feel trapped in thought spirals you need to do something else, focus on breathing, jumping on 1 foot, focus on a movie, anything. The brain is capable of changing, this is called neuroplasticity. So every time you find yourself spiralling if you do something else it can knock you out of the rut. I think this is the purpose of meditation, it isn't about clearing your thoughts it is about training your brain to change from 1 thought process to another does that make sense. Which means that you can do it without actually meditating. Sitting down and doing nothing is so boring but if you instead have something to do then you can focus your thoughts on that and every time your mind wanders you gently bring it back to task at hand you are essentially meditating.

Secondly, the importance of connections. There is a saying no man is an island. I have spent the last couple of years of my life cutting connections off because they are hard and scary and they weren't very good for me. This is wrong. I need to focus on developing meaningful connections with people. I keep expecting to be able to jump straight away into having best friends but I need to start slowly, and just focus on smiling and saying hello. Going to places where people meet and I might enjoy. I also need to focus on making myself happier. If I am happier then people will want to be around me more. This is not about forcing me to be happy but essentially letting go of anger, forgiving people and moving on. Just letting things be. I don't have to be the best at something, I just need to enjoy the moment. I don't like playing games because I have this need to win and if I know I can't win then I find a way to skirt the rules and cheat ruining the game for others. I hate losing. I hate failing. I hate being rejected. If there is a change of being rejected then I don't do it and lie to myself oh it wouldn't have worked anyway, but it is still a lie and I would never know. I need to start small but I need to gently push myself just beyond my comfort zone and have methods for dealing with rejection. Connections are important. The people who live the longest and the happiest didn't get there by optimising their health they got there by having friends. Having people to talk to when they felt hopeless and lost. There have been several times when I have fought messaging on this sight was silly and it was better to be alone but I think I realise now it is a form of connecting with people and it is making me feel not so alone in the world. I like the simplicity of this site there aren't a hundred different things there are just posts. I like that. Anyway, I need to start saying hello to people. Just that, nothing more, starting small. I can do that.