Where is your life heading?

I feel like I give up on my hopes and dreams as well. But yesterday I was thinking about it. Everything in life, or most of it anyways, is fearing what would happen, fearing the hard work and responsibility of what would happen if I actually made my dreams a reality, and dreams are usually the best version of something, whereas reality is another beast entirely. 

But I feel like if I'm not doing things for my dreams, then I feel like I'm just procrastinating in life, just wasting time, and to die without fulfilling dreams, just makes everything seem meaningless in life.

Maybe I just have a pessimistic mindset when it comes to making dreams come true. I can see what failure would look like, but even success looks like failure to me, because someone's always going to be displeased at my success. I know it's an awful way of looking at it.

I mean on paper, if I just list out all of my successes and achievements it sounds great, everyone's successes would sound great on paper, but the social reprocussions from achieving such success, such as slander, harrassment, and bullying, from jealous people who target you because they think you don't deserve it, or they think you're just trying to be better than them, so they try to ruin you, that's what I don't want. And when they win, they use it as a reason to continue to put you down and bully you. I wonder if I was just dealing with toxic people too much of the time in the past. I think that if I aim to make my dreams a reality, I'll come across more instances of toxic people, or maybe it'll just bring out the toxicity in me, and I don't want to be toxic to anyone.  

But I guess in order to make your dreams a reality, you have to not care about other people, and pursue your goals anyways. I mean reality is a place where everyone can achieve their goals and dreams in life. But maybe you need to be okay with the possibility that it'll make other people unhappy about themselves in order to do it. But I think after you've achieved your success, you can help other people achieve success and make their dreams come true as well.

And if I just let life slide into the meaningless side, I'll just feel depressed and isolated and have mental health issues. Keeping my mind on my dreams, creates a reason to keep on living life, and to keep improving myself. Ultimately I want to die having made some kind of difference in the world. I don't know if that's a reasonable goal,  but that's what I've always wanted. 

We should be living our life,not surviving our existance.
Sound Familiar ? .....

I'm hoping to end up working in mathematics but I don't know in what way yet. I'm thinking science as well so maybe yeah I'll end up as a medical scientist it's something I think about and research a lot in my free time. Thought about tutoring as well like at uni but don't know if I could do it cause I stutter and have problems. Still lots of time to think I'm only 16 but that's the way I'm heading.

I am unemployed after a few years unable to cope in work. I have started to build in volunteering work, long walks and registering at my local gym. I have ambitions for self employment....not sure it's achievable but it's a goal. I am 46 and hopefully it will work out and be ENJOYED.

I keep a journal to be creative too.

......from what I can see, the crash wasn't that bad because you still have your wheels on.....and you don't squeak !

yeah hoping i can find a way to pack it in in the future too, although i dont see it happening as no way id be allowed to live on benefits anyway as im a male native to this land lol my best bet is likely gonna be to take back time like do 4 days instead of 5.

Caelus said:

i dont really have plans and never did. just to exist is all i thought, although alot of the time i guess i didnt want to exist. there really isnt much point to life really but to wait until it ends when you think on it

This is how I think a lot of the time. I'm not suicidal I just don't see a lot of point in life at times. I had a job but I've had to pack it in as it was causing me too much anxiety and mental impact.

Mine's heading nowhere!! 

Hello Number.

Thank you. This gives me hope.

X

It wasn't what I hope it would be, and I'm grateful; for that.

As a boy, I was destined for success. However, my life came crashing down; after graduating from Uni in 2001. In the end, I became humble.

i dont really have plans and never did. just to exist is all i thought, although alot of the time i guess i didnt want to exist. there really isnt much point to life really but to wait until it ends when you think on it.

but i did put together some basic plans and actions which got me a job and a house and a lump sum from investment. and my plans are in a end stage of hoping to early repay mortgage this year, then my life will perhaps be just wait until i die of old age again.... although figuring out how to untie myself from work i guess is the next step. having a property and committing to life like i just did kinda now binds me into being stuck in work for the rest of my wait.... and to be fair, waiting for the end doing nothing is leagues better than waiting for my end working away each day....

so yeah, my goal, short term pay mortgage off early, long term somehow unhook the parasitic idea of work from my life somehow or at least cut it down to part time. then just casually wait until the end of my life... thats all there is to life really.

It is a journey Sloan.  I have just two pieces of universal advice to you.....

1.  Stay sane.

2. Don't panic.

If you manage those things, life seems to roll along reasonably safely and with flashes of contentment....in my experience.

Hey L,

I've been on this planet twice as long as you....trust me when I say this......NONE of us know what's around the next corner.  That fact is a potentially scary thought when everything is going great.....but also quite reassuring when times feel never endingly dreadful.

Hope springs eternal.  There is always hope.

I’m perhaps not in the best place to answer this as currently feel like I’m spiralling downwards. My biggest fear is ending up back in a psychiatric ward for weeks on end… and I currently feel like I’m getting closer and closer to that again each day. 
i hope this is just a blip and there is much more positive things that im headed for. I feel very lost at the moment, everyone around me seems to be moving on with their life and doing exciting things like having babies, getting married, going on holidays… none of which i feel are an option for me. 

I wish i could be more positive and optimistic about life! I’m very newly diagnosed so maybe im still going through the whole natural process of acceptance/anger/frustration/grieving etc 

Interesting questions.

My life is going nowhere good, it's more a waiting game for me until I'm sectioned again.

It's happened three times and I know it will happen again. I'm so badly affected by past traumas I can't cope with life.

The best of my life was from when I was born to when I was eleven or thereabouts. After that and in to my teens life went downhill rapidly and it's never picked up again.

What's ahead of me is more mental health units.

Eventually they will just keep me in permanently. Things might improve but after all this time I don't think so. My issues started around 12-13 years and I'm now 27.

I hope things improve for you and you can work everything out x

 . . . c o n t i n u u m . . . = This is my constant state.  I seem to be stuck in the moment.  There are worse places.