Communication difficulties in relationships with neuro typicals

I have a hard time with any kind of relationship so I dont think I have anything to say, except that Im sure many people here can relate in some way. I hope you figure things out <3 Welcome by the way!

thank you for replying . Feels good to of found a space to be able to communicate.

I was wondering if there is any research  out there referencing difficulties of communication of adult neuro divergents within close relationships .  I’m just trying to get as much info , as I’m still feeling unsure whether I want a diagnosis or even have a label, having managed to get to this age without one

John ww said:

I was wondering if there is any research  out there referencing difficulties of communication of adult neuro divergents within close relationships .  I

Hi, the research you are looking for is called The Double Empathy Problem. It was proposed by autistic academic Dr Damian Milton and suggests that the reason for communication difficulties between autistic and non autistic people is because of vastly different experiences of the world therefore both groups find it difficult to relate to each other.

Here is a video and some research about it:

https://www.youtube.com/live/uJSboFMT2Fk?si=dJPR2ZANlSBuALw9

https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics/

John ww said:

I was wondering if there is any research  out there referencing difficulties of communication of adult neuro divergents within close relationships .  I

Hi, the research you are looking for is called The Double Empathy Problem. It was proposed by autistic academic Dr Damian Milton and suggests that the reason for communication difficulties between autistic and non autistic people is because of vastly different experiences of the world therefore both groups find it difficult to relate to each other.

Here is a video and some research about it:

https://www.youtube.com/live/uJSboFMT2Fk?si=dJPR2ZANlSBuALw9

https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics/

Thanks for sharing! I have watched this video before and other videos from this channel. I really like the channel particularly the Monotropism video.

Link to utube on double empathy I found helpful

https://youtu.be/y51w9j5eS50?si=Qwwni2uOrSRIahea

John ww said:

somehow this is all beginning to make sense of some of the struggles I have with the interaction of the people around me .

You are very welcome! I am glad The Double Empathy Problem helps you make sense of your interactions and autistic experiences.

John ww said:

Also it makes sense why a I find it easier in one to one conversations with friends who are either neuro divergent

I feel the same way too, this is very common in our community! It’s is much more natural and rewarding for us to communicate with our neurokin as we literally share the same neurotype!

Thanks 

both are really helpful I also watched a video on double empathy (not good at linking yet )

somehow this is all beginning to make sense of some of the struggles I have with the interaction of the people around me . Also it makes sense why a I find it easier in one to one conversations with friends who are either neuro divergent or with people who might be carrying unresolved chidhood trauma.

Roy said:

It feels like I’m operating on an Apple format and my wife is using Microsoft.

That is such a common analogy used to describe our autistic experiences! We literally operate on a different nervous system!

You are very welcome! I hope these resources about double empathy problem will help both you and your partner understand the context for why there may be misunderstandings and miscommunication.

If you want any more information about the double empathy problem, just let me know!

Thanks, I’m going to have a look at that, it’s one of the biggest problems I have with my partner. It feels like I’m operating on an Apple format and my wife is using Microsoft. The two sort of communicate but the information is often jumbled. It’s like AC /DC, both are electricity but totally different.